Create a Race (F1 Commentary)

[wild epoch]

wdc standings after vegas:
1.Alonso (230)
2.Bottas (230)
3.Norris (179)
4.Albon (163)
5.Sainz (130)
6.Sargeant (112)
7.Gasly (104)
8.Leclerc (102)
9.Perez (102)
10.Verstappen (96)
11.Piastri (82)
12.Stroll (81)
13.Hamilton (75)
14.Zhou (73)
15.Russell (73)
16.Tsunoda (71)
17.Hulkenberg (56)
18.De Vries (47)
19.Magnussen (41)
20.Ocon (34)
21.Schumacher (15)
22.Ricciardo (0)
23.Drugovich (0)
24.Vettel (0)

wcc standings after vegas:
1.Aston Martin (311)
2.Alfa Romeo (302)
3.Williams (275)
4.McLaren (261)
5.Ferrari (232)
6.Red Bull (198)
7.Mercedes (163)
8.Alpine (138)
9.AlphaTauri (118)
10.Haas (97)

It's been a thrilling season so far, Bottas and Alonso tied with just Brazil and Yas Marina to go! The constructors title is also very intruiging, all of the teams are very close to one another. Even McLaren has a shot of winning the contructors! We will see you in Brazil.

More exclusive radio:
📻 ----- ME ------ ME WHAT AM I DOING!
📻 Yeees guys! What a drive. What a race!
📻 ----- again man, I was close. (sigh) Good job boys.
📻 Good job. Good job, bring the car to the pit.
📻 Not bad guys... But we need to do better. We need P3.
3📻 Yeah, uh, nothing much to say guys. We need to look at this.
📻 We need to review this race. Car was undriveable.

||norris still hasnt won 😢||

[placid lagoon]

he's been so close too

like 2 times hes been a second off lmao

also how is bottas winning

fraudulent

can we hold off on Abu duabi until I get the standings situated in the app

[placid lagoon]

📌 saving for later

[magic isle]

Albon 'ready for Brazil', says Vowles

Alexander Albon will return to F1 at the Brazilian GP, says Williams team principal James Vowles.
"I have talked to Alex and he is even faster than before. He is a tenth faster on the sim, and I think he is ready to return."
Felipe Drugovich will return to Formula E following his DNF at the Las Vegas GP.

[grizzled moss]

Sure

Is it Brazilian gp next?

Wait Abu dhabi?

[magic isle]

vrazil iirc

[wild epoch]

Mercedes say Russell is "very vulnerable"
Mercedes team boss Toto Wolf addressed the team's future in a press conference with Sky. Mercedes find themselves 7th in the constructors championship, and this year has been frustrating all around. Earlier this season Mercedes extended Hamilton through 2024. However, Russell's spot is uncertain. Wolff said, "George's spot at Mercedes is still up for question, and we believe in him to deliver for the final 2 races. However, plenty of other talent is available, and if results don't show improvement, the seat will be up for grabs."

[grizzled moss]

👎

Not very realistic

[chilly blade]

mhm

but what do you expect

this is a forum anyone can control

[grizzled moss]

Oh yea

But I still don't like it tho

But it's not bc I hate seb

[chilly blade]

I'd suggest making a dedicated group if you don't like it to that point, I'm actually looking to make one soon

rather than leaving it out in the open on the f1 discord

[magic isle]

can we make a rule

that since its open we have to continue it fron the last point

[wild epoch]

Should i delete it?

[grizzled moss]

Yes

[grizzled moss]

Unless it's stupid like I did a couple of times

[magic isle]

then dont be stupid ok fine

[grizzled moss]

Fr

[grizzled moss]

Also what track is next?

[wild epoch]

interlagos then yas marins

[grizzled moss]

Is it sprint race in either?

[placid lagoon]

interlagos

[grizzled moss]

Ok

[wild epoch]

@placid lagoon can we get going with the brazill go

gp*

[placid lagoon]

just...do it lol

[wild epoch]

ok

WELCOME TO THE BRAZILIAN GRAND PRIX!
Bottas and Alonso tied for first with just 2 races to go, not to mention first to fourth in the constructors championship is seperated by just 50 points! This race will be crucial in the outcome of this 2023 Formula 1 season! We look through out starting grid....

Williams have been rumored to have brought heavy upgrades!

[magic isle]

Valtteri Bottas on pole for Alfa Romeo-

and Max Verstappen is back to racing here for the first time since Mexico!

The same can be said for Alex Albon as well, unfortunately Vettel and Drugovich go back to their reserve driver roles.

A rainy to dry qualifying left one of the wackiest grid orders we've seen in ages, with Bottas one of the few normal front runners to stay up at the sharp end.

[wild epoch]

1. Bottas
2. Albon
3. Alonso
4. Magnussen
5. Tsunoda
6. Sargeant
7. Zhou
8. Verstappen
9. Norris
10. Piastri

[magic isle]

11. Ricciardo

12. Alonso

13. Hamilton

14. Stroll

[wild epoch]

15. Hulk (5 place grid drop; Impeding)

16. Russell

[magic isle]

17. Leclerc

18. Sainz

[wild epoch]

19. Ocon

20. Gasly (DNF; Gasly spun into grass near the Senna S's and even though the car avoided the wall the damage was still unrepairable)

[magic isle]

There's the Flying Finn, continuing his streak of poles this year, and sitting in the blazing heat of Brazil.

[wild epoch]

The clock strikes :00 as the formation lap is underway!

[magic isle]

Max Verstappen, not happy with only P8 as he spoke to us yesterday evening; his return to form is not quite there.

All drivers start on the soft compound tyre except for George Russell, the F1 traveling weatherman sensing potential rain on the horizon and opting to try to run long.

He's put on a set of fresh hards for the race.

[wild epoch]

Rewind to his radio following his result:
: That's P8 I'm afraid max.
-----. That was uh... very, very, bad. We got so unlucky with the rain there, at the end of the lap I was slipping around so much.
: Copy that Max.

[magic isle]

Ferrari heartbreak following their dual Q1 knockout, neither of them made it through a fast lap unscathed.

[wild epoch]

Even worse, the Alpines!

While Gasly's DNF was due to a driver error, Ocon was seconds off the Ferraris and the car was "like driving on ice", as Ocon stated after the session.

[magic isle]

Yeah Crofty, they're locking out the back row of the grid due to Gasly crashing and Ocon not making it out in time for the final lap.

Here comes our polesitter, Valtteri Bottas, around the long banked left hander, much slower than full racing speed.

[wild epoch]

We have to talk about the Haases here, Kev took that tractor into Q3 and was the only one using inters for his final lap. As others struggled with the conditions, Kevin only gained time and was on track for back-to-back poles until he made a mistake on the final corner.

[magic isle]

One last spin of the tires before we line up at our grid slots.

Alex Albon on his return to F1 lines up P2, let's see what the Thai driver can do here today.

[wild epoch]

He's looked strong all throughout the weekend.

[magic isle]

Pierre Gasly has been let out of the pit box now, he's starting from the pit lane after his crash.

[wild epoch]

As Ocon lines up, the drivers are ready to go.

Green flag is waved!

🔴

🔴 🔴

🔴 🔴🔴

🔴🔴🔴🔴

🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴

ITS LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO!

[magic isle]

It's lights out and away we go for the Brazilian GP! Alex Albon with a great start already alongside Bottas-

[wild epoch]

And Bottas is gonna squeeze Albon to the outside, Albon off the track, gets back on, and WHAT A MOVE by Alex Albon to gain P1!

As the cars go own the straight, the Alfa is under pressure from the Aston of Fernando Alonso!

[magic isle]

And there's absolute chaos in the back of the pack, and that's a Haas spun around, and someone's in the wall, and there's a safety car already! Full Course Yellow, say the stewards, and looking back - yes, that's Lewis Hamilton still in his grid box!

But Alex Albon is doing something he's never done before, and that is to lead a Grand Prix!

[wild epoch]

It's Nico Hulkenberg collected by Lewis's stopped Mercedes.

||please dont put too many crashes ok||

[magic isle]

** ALL CARS TO GO THROUGH PIT LANE**

The Williams boys will be ecstatic- they have a chance to win for the first time since 2012!

[wild epoch]

: Are you okay Nico?
: Yeah I'm fine.....

: The engine just.... shut off.
: We're looking into it Lewis, try to start the car again.
: Not too much damage, I've got the engine going. Do you think we can continue?
: On data, everything looks good. Just box this lap for a new front wing.

[magic isle]

Let's review the incident, shall we?

[wild epoch]

Yes, down to you, Ted Kravitz at Sky Race Control!

[magic isle]

Yes, it looks like Hamilton never made it off the grid - Hulkenberg had nowhere to go and swerved into the wall.

That's a disappointing end to the Haas driver's race, which can hardly be called a race, as it lasted only about three metres.

[wild epoch]

As he spun, he brushed the Mercedes's front wing, as you can see there Lewis's front wing is dangling. The black and orange flag is out for Hamilton.

[magic isle]

** BLACK AND ORANGE FLAG FOR CAR 44(HAM)**

[wild epoch]

And it looks like the stewards have red flagged the race, understandably so as the main straight is quite narrow and the Haas is covering a good portion of the track.

ALL CARS TO RETURN TO PITLANE

A few minutes later...
Race resumed: Standing Start

[magic isle]

🔴

🔴 🔴

🔴 🔴 🔴

🔴 🔴 🔴 🔴

🔴 🔴 🔴 🔴 🔴

🟢 🟢 🟢 🟢 🟢

[untold zinc]

||Now thats what I call good commentary!!! Keep it up...||

ITS LIGHTS OUT AND A WAY WE GO AGAIN!!!

GREAT REACTION TIME FROM ALEXANDER ALBON HE COVERS OFF A FAST CHARGING VALTTERI BOTTAS AND HE LEADS THE RACE AND IN THE MIDFIELD WE CAN SEE BOTH NORRIS AND PIASTRI JUMPING VERSTAPPEN!

As we look at the back of the pack carlos sainz has got a brilliant start he is already upto P12 and leclerc not far behind in P14

Russell with a very poor start he has been jumped by both alpines and he is dead last right now!

As we see Tsunoda lurking right behind kevin magnussen he is eyeing for that P4 into the last corner and yuki tsunoda has got a better exit with DRS he is going to be SIDE BY SIDE INTO THE STRAIGHT , He FAKES TO RIGHT GOES TO LEFT AND DOWN THE INSIDE GOES YUKI TSUNODA AND HE IS UPTO P4!!!

[wild epoch]

Tsunoda is flying at the moment, it's fastest lap for the Japanese driver! Alonso also on a charge, with DRS down the main straight! The two title contenders battling it out as Alonso is on the outside! Alonso is going to pass Bottas through the Senna S's, but Bottas will have DRS! Alonso ahead of bottas down the straight, he will move to the inside. squeezing Bottas almost onto tbe grass! Bottas dives down the inside and Alonso has to avoid contact! Both go off the track! It's Alonso that's ahead! What a battle here in Sao Paulo! Meanwhile, Albon is up 3 seconds now and Tsunoda enjoyed that battle, now just 1.5 seconds behind Bottas.

||this is going well, just hard racing and no crashes every 5 laps||

[hearty swift]

📻 : Alright, so the gap to Tsunoda is 3.1 Seconds. Should we do Plan A (Stay on Hards) or C (Box for Mediums)?
📻 : Plan A shall do.
📻 : Copy.

[wild epoch]

Near the back here, Norris has overtaken Verstappen and is looking to do the same to Zhou! Norris has shown outstanding pace on his tyres, and Zhou is going to be defenseless as Norris passes by. Norris is now gaining on Sargeant just ahead, Norris is going to DIVE DOWN THE INSIDE! NOBODY EXPECTED THAT! Sargeant didn't either, as he has to back away from contact, Norris is ahead! But Sargeant is gonna lunge down the inside up the hill, he rides the kerb, and OHHH almost goes RIGHT in the back of the McLaren! Sargeant on the grass, rejoins right behind, and Norris is ahead! Now it's Zhou waiting to capitalize, down the corner leading to the main straight, Zhou on the outside, SARGEANT PUSHES HIM WIDE! Zhou is off the track and rejoins, with DRS down the straight, on the outside banking! Zhou is closing in on Sargeant, they're side by side, Sargeant is pushing Zhou to the wall and Zhou ALMOST makes contact with the wall and has to back off! That was an extremely dangerous move by Sargeant, it could've been a horrible disaster! Reckless driver from the American all around, I'm sure the stewards will be looking at that!

: I MEAN WHAT IS THIS GUY DOING? IS HE TRYING TO KILL ME?

: Sargeant almost just shunted me. What is he doing, honestly!

Incident involving CAR 2 (SAR) and CAR 24 (ZHO) is under investigation

[untold zinc]

BLACK AND WHITE FLAG FOR CAR 2(SAR) FOR RECKLESS DRIVING.

[hearty swift]

: 5 SECOND PENALTY FOR CAR 2 (SAR) FOR FORCING ANOTHER DRIVER OFF THE TRACK

[chilly blade]

what

that doesn't make sense

that'd be a warning, penalty if he did collide

[wild epoch]

it should be forcing another driver off the track

[chilly blade]

mhm

[hearty swift]

alr i'll change it

[untold zinc]

bro tsunoda got a 5 sec penalty for pushing zhou off track in the spanish gp irl which made him tumble from P9 to P11 costing him points

[chilly blade]

I'm very aware of that situation, don't revive my anger at that

[hearty swift]

Meanwhile, the battle for 8th place between Ricciardo and Piastri is getting intense. The two Australian are battling it out for more valuable points! Ricciardo has DRS, the gap comes down to the wire and THERES A BIG DIVE DOWN THE CORNER THERE and gets in done
📻 : Great job, you made that one look easy.
📻 : Makes me feel back home 🇦🇺

[wild epoch]

Yellow flags as Perez, in 12th place, is off the track and spun around. Looks like he's kept it going, and he's back on the track. That coast him alot of positions, dropping all the way to P17 behind Hamilton.
AAARGH!!!
Head down, Checo, head down, come on.

[grizzled moss]

||what lap is it?||

7 laps pass and overtakes happen and it's raining and everyone is on inters

[grizzled moss]

(GREEN FLAGS)
LAP 10

1. ALB +/-
2. FER +0.005
3. VER +0.082
4. LEC +0.142
5. STR +1.021
6. NOR +0.013
7. PIA +0.783
8. RIC +0.009
9. GAS +1.023
10. OCO +0.019
11. RUS +0.005
12. SAI +2.105
13. SAR +1.041
14. HAM +0.234
15. PER +0.533
16. BOT +0.021
17. TSU +0.231
18. ZHO +1.032
19. MAG +3.901

DNF. HUL

[grizzled moss]

I did not put tires bc everyone on inters except Hulkenburg

[magic isle]

FER?? is it not ALO?

[wild epoch]

Thats no way close to the actual standings

i get that overtakes happen in the backfirld but you basically swapped the order

1. Albon
2. Alonso
3. Bottas
4. Tsunoda
5. Magnussen
6. Norris
7. Zhou
8. Ricciardo
9. Piastri
10. Sargeant
11. Verstappen
12. Stroll
13. Russell
14. Leclerc
15. Sainz
16. Gasly
17. Hamilton
18. Perez
19. Ocon

[wild epoch]

actually read the whole thing instead of just putting random drivers

[magic isle]

And that is Esteban Ocon in the pit lane- yes, they are retiring the car. More Alpain woes for the French here today.
📻 ################ ! NOOOOO!!
📻 Ok, box to retire, box to retire, engine mode 2.

[grizzled moss]

I did

I saw albon was in the lead

And Perez spun and went behind Hamilton

[grizzled moss]

Also one thing if you read mine I say 7 laps pass which means some overtakes happen and yes it wouldn't look like I have it rn but I also said it was raining and everyone on inters which means everyone did pit

Which means some drivers had bad pit stops bc of double stacks and slow pit stops

Ok bottas is the only one far off his position

And tsunoda and zhou

Magnussen too ig

[wild epoch]

ik that but like alof drivers basically skyrocketed up or down and that never happens in 7 laps and pitstio mistakes

if you actually read the whole race you will see the order is completely off

theyre way different

[hearty swift]

One thing we haven't talked about is Magnussen in 5th place! He is seemingly catching up with Tsunoda and closing the gap.
📻 : So that gap to the car ahead is 2.7 Seconds, 2.7 seconds.
📻 : Affirm.

[grizzled moss]

Ig so

[grizzled moss]

And alonso spins but keeps it out the wall amazing skill from the 42 yr old

And the rain is getting harder every lap

[vague jetty]

Which track are we on?

ohhh Suzuka!

And here we see Alonso and Albon SIDE BY SIDE going down the start/finish straight! And now into turn one! It looks like Alonso will be taking the inside line OHH AND ALBON IS GETTING REALLY CLOSE ALMOST BANGING TYRES GOING INTO TURN ONE AND OHHHH GOODNESS ALBON SPINS OFF INTO THE GRAVEL! THE FIA SURELY NEEDS TO LOOK INTO THAT ONE! ALBON LEFT THE ASTON MARTIN NO SPACE THERE! YELLOW FLAGS OUT!

📻 “WHAT THE **** MAN WHAT IS HE DOING!”
📻 “Yep, Alex it looks like the car has minor front wing damage, the FIA will look into that one I think. keep it calm get back onto track.”

📻 “WHAT IN THE WORLD IS HE DOING MAN! UNBELIEVABLE! HE TURNED IN ON ME I HAD THE CORNER!”

📡 - INCIDENT BETWEEN CARS (ALONSO) AND (ALBON) AT TURN ONE UNDER INVESTIGATION

📡 - WARNING FOR CAR (ALBON) - NOT LEAVING SPACE

Now looking further down the field it looks like a DRS/ERS train forming behind Zhou , ranging all the way down to Verstappen , and he clearly has the advantage here going alot faster than the other cars!

Let’s see through the Senna S’s, Verstappen overtaking PIASTRI AND SARGEANT!!

📻 “Nice job Max, keep the good momentum going, let’s climb up the field.”

[grizzled moss]

Uhh in Brazil

[vague jetty]

WHAT

[grizzled moss]

Umm

[vague jetty]

oopsies

[grizzled moss]

.

[grizzled moss]

If alonso spun

And that's the same lap

[vague jetty]

I assumed it wasn’t

[grizzled moss]

He wouldn't run into Albon...

[vague jetty]

This is fucking confusing people are crashing left right and center

just void it then

[grizzled moss]

Uhh your the one that made albon and Fernando crash...

I just said he spun...

[grizzled moss]

Sure...

[vague jetty]

Like I said just void it

Don’t get so angry

Void it

[grizzled moss]

I'm not angry...

I'm not even mad...

[vague jetty]

Alright

[grizzled moss]

Ok..

[untold zinc]

void this chat man

[vague jetty]

a new race would be nice

less confusing but

not my choice

[vital ridge]

someone just start it from here

[livid otter]

ITS LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO

[wild epoch]

BRO STOP

WE ALREADY HAVE A RACE

[wild epoch]

GUYS CONTINUE FROM HERE

This is where we were

[wild epoch]

i mean here sorry

[grizzled moss]

Max Verstapen radio

📻 : This Rain.. is (radio crack) getting hard. Is it time for wets?
📻 : Not at the moment max where checking and it's right on the cross over
📻 : This F### Rain man can't see anything
📻 : OK, gap to sargent... is 1.435 seconds, 1.435 seconds. And uhm he is reporting the car is difficult to drive

[hearty swift]

Alonso giving some MEGA defending against Bottas along the main strait, AND BOTTAS GETS ALMOST DOES THE JOB but is unable to overtake Alonso. It has starting raining really haveily now one the main strait.
📻 : Box for blues (wets)
📻 : Should we stay out or no?
📻 : Negative, come into the pits

[grizzled moss]

Uhhh

Drs don't work in rain

**2 laps later

1. Albon +/-
2. Alonso +1.034
3. Bottas +1.502
4. Norris +0.812
5. Magnussen +0.129
6. Tsunoda +0.152
7. Zhou +0.530
8. Piastri +0.029
9. Riccardo +0.925
10. Sargeant +2.053 +5
11. Verstappen +0.421
12. Stroll +0.918
13. Russell +0.539
14. Leclerc +1.043
15. Hamilton +0.231
16. Sainz +1.302
17. Gasly +0.260
18. Perez +0.039

DNF:
Ocon
Hulkenburg **

[magic isle]

And Daniel Ricciardo has spun at Turn 8, looks like he hasn't hit anything.

[grizzled moss]

And his back on track but now Logan sargent is right behind him

[wild epoch]

Sargeant looks to weave behind Ricciardo, trying to find an opportunity but has to back down.

[hearty swift]

nvm

[grizzled moss]

And Verstapen is gonna try there but he makes rhe dummy on sargent and is past

But Riccardo is defending so Verstapen is gonna have to go around the outside

But Verstapen as a bit of Oversteer and can't pull it off

[mental bough]

a

[jolly bane]

pitstop for stroll in the box attempting the inter.
OH AND THATS A BIG CRASH FOR
PEREZ AND GASLY THEY COME TOGETHER AND THAT IS A RED FLAG!

[grizzled moss]

**as of red flag

1. Albon
2. Alonso
3. Bottas
4. Norris
5. Magnussen
6. Tsunoda
7. Zhou
8. Piastri
9. Riccardo
10. Sargeant +5
11. Verstappen
12. Russell
13. Leclerc
14. Hamilton
15. Sainz
16. Stroll

DNF:
Gasly
Perez
Ocon
Hulkenburg **

(Were on lap 20 btw)

(Out of 71)

[exotic plinth]

THERE'S COSPLAYERS ON THE TRACK

[grizzled moss]

What???

Just void

[grizzled moss]

That

[grizzled moss]

Ok just void all this

[grizzled moss]

We continue here

[exotic plinth]

For some reason there's a girl with a big red scythe and she looks like an......... Emo verison of the Little Red Riding Hood Martin?

Idk Crofty but this red flag has taken a turn for the bizarre

Does anyone know what she is?

[grizzled moss]

Bro just stop

[exotic plinth]

I'm adding

Lad

[grizzled moss]

BRO

Opps caps

[exotic plinth]

I'm adding

OK

Isn't it a good idea

[grizzled moss]

Uhh no

And very unrealistic

[exotic plinth]

Nah this is realistic because anything can happen on this channel 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Honestly no need for realism

[grizzled moss]

First of all a scythe wouldn't even make it past the entry
Second of all its impossible to get onto the track but if you do the Marshalls will instantly remove you

[exotic plinth]

Nah bro anything can happen

[grizzled moss]

Yea in the races not this unrealistic stuff

[exotic plinth]

Who cares

[grizzled moss]

Ok just void this shit

[exotic plinth]

Nope

This is canon

And I demand you this is literally canon

No questions asked

[grizzled moss]

ITS LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO AN AMAZING START FROM ALBON BUT THERE IS ALONSO STRUGGLING AND BOTTAS HAS TO GO TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE TRACK BUT ALONSO LOCKS UP AND BOTTAS HAS TO GO WIDE TO AVOID CONTACT BOTTAS AND ALONSO ARE FINE BUT THEY HAVE FALLEN DOWN THE GRID

BOTTAS radio 📻

📻 : WHAT THE F### WAS HE DOING, HONESTLY IS HE A F### C### OR WHAT
📻 Ye we see that just get your head down and get back in the race

ALONSO radio 📻

📻 : ¿QUÉ MIERDA### ESTE COCHE NO GIRABA EN ABSOLUTO? (WHAT THE F### THIS CAR WOULDN'T TURN AT ALL)
📻 just get your head down

[exotic plinth]

AND THERE'S ON WHAT SEEMS TO BE A EMO VERSION OF THE LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD EQUIPPED WITH A HIGH-TECH SCYTHE WHAT SHE'S DOING HERE

[kindred quarry]

bro

dont

people will ignore you if you have unrealistic crazy shit

this is supposed to be mostly realistic

[exotic plinth]

Bugger off

Anything can happen

[vague jetty]

The grid order is too and we aren’t pointing that out either 👀

[grizzled moss]

Yea idk

[grizzled moss]

Wait but just read from the start of the race

It was messed up quali

[grizzled moss]

.

[wild epoch]

There's some debris on the track from small collisions, and Albon is enjoying a huge lead.

[grizzled moss]

It doesn't look like much damage there but it will slow them down

Meanwhile it's
Albon,
Norris
Then comes
Magnussen
Then
Zhou,
Piastri
And tsunoda
Piastri,
Riccardo,
Verstapen
And Russell round off your top 10

(I think we should add a dnf cooldown until lap 30)

(Its currently lap 20)

[pure ermine]

|| norris overtakes albon and then spins out 1 inch away from the finish ||

jk

[exotic plinth]

Lewis Hamilton (Mercedes-AMG Petronas Formula One Team): "Guys, down on the circuit, I see this girl with an incredible red hood and a huge scythe, it's like she's straight out of a fairy tale. And there's another one in this amazing snow-white outfit with a rapier in hand. It's wild down here!"

Mercedes-AMG Crew: "Are you sure, Lewis?"

Lewis Hamilton: "Positive, it's the most unique thing I've seen at a race. This is unbelievable."

Bono (Hamilton's Race Engineer): "We'll check it out after the race, Lewis. Focus on the race for now."

Mercedes-AMG Crew: "Roger that, Lewis. Stay focused."

Lewis Hamilton (Mercedes-AMG Petronas Formula One Team): "I'm serious, guys. The first girl, she's got this red hood, like a Gothic Emo Little Red Riding Hood or something, and a huge, menacing scythe. Her appearance is quite striking. I've never seen anything like it. Is this some kind of promotion or a prank?"

[grizzled moss]

ALBON ALREADY HAS A 1 SECOND LEAD

Norris goes to magnussen but they both go off like max and lewis 2021 and oh it's a virtual saftey car

Bottas front wing is underneath his car

Let's look at a replay, martin will you do the honors?

[wild epoch]

ignore them

[pure ermine]

the legit raiden shogun with yelan pfp

[grizzled moss]

I am

[hearty swift]

delete

unrealistic

[exotic plinth]

Doesn't have too lol

[hearty swift]

how would there be a girl on track?

red flag man

[grizzled moss]

Just void it

[exotic plinth]

Indeed

[magic isle]

🟨 CAUTION - SECTOR 2 - OBSTRUCTION ON TRACK 🟨

[grizzled moss]

And that looks to bottas front wing

[wild epoch]

Yes Crofty, Bottas has been making ever so slight contact with Alonso in their battles, leaving it to be easier to fall off. You can see here, Bottas rides the kerb hard, and the wing gives in.

[pure ermine]

RED flag RED hood

[exotic plinth]

And there's a real Trevor Philips moment

David Croft (Commentator): Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the United States Grand Prix here at the Circuit of The Americas! It's a gorgeous day in Austin, Texas, and the atmosphere is electric!

Martin Brundle (Pundit): Absolutely, Crofty. The U.S. Grand Prix never disappoints, and this track is a fan favorite. It's got it all: elevation changes, sweeping corners, and a fantastic atmosphere.

Natalie Pinkham (Pit Reporter): We've got a lot to look forward to today, with the championship fight heating up. Lewis Hamilton is just a few points behind Max Verstappen, and it's all to play for.

Simon Lazenby (Host): It's a perfect day for racing, and there's something truly special about the United States Grand Prix. The fans here bring so much energy, and we can expect a thrilling race today.

David Croft: That's right, Simon. Now, let's talk about the contenders. Lewis Hamilton has had a resurgence in the latter part of the season, and Max Verstappen is showing his mettle. It's a battle of giants.

Martin Brundle: And don't forget, we've got some exciting young talents on the grid. George Russell, Lando Norris, and Charles Leclerc are making waves, and we might see them mix it up with the established stars.

Natalie Pinkham: Speaking of talents, let's not overlook the Constructors' Championship. Red Bull and Mercedes are locked in a fierce battle as well, and every point counts.

Simon Lazenby: Indeed, Natalie. And it's not just about the championship. The United States Grand Prix is one of those races where you want to make your mark, regardless of your position in the standings.

David Croft: We've got some other talking points today, too. The unique layout of this circuit can make for some incredible overtaking opportunities. The Esses, the hairpin at Turn 11, and that long back straight leading to the hairpin at Turn 12 are all places to watch out for.

[grizzled moss]

And the Marshalls have cleared it up and vsc has ended and were back racing

[magic isle]

Albon has led for more than half the race distance. He gets the jump on second - place Zhou Guanyu as we go racing once again here at the Brazilian Grand Prix! Albon leads, ahead of Zhou, Norris, Piastri, Verstappen, Russell, Tsunoda and Sargeant! Then in 11th is Gasly, Bottas, Perez, Hamilton, Stroll, Alonso and don't forget, if you're a Sky Queue or a Sky Glass customer, you can press your red button to watch the highlights alongside the live action.

[jolly bane]

There are yellows waved in sector one, OH AND THATS THE MCLAREN’S ON THE RUNOFF AT TURN ONE! That’s probably a safety car being deployed due to debris, yep and the safety car is deployed as the mclaren’s drop to the back of the field.
Piastri just locks up into the back of Norris sends Norris spinning and Piastri locks up into the runoff in the meanwhile the debris coming off Piastri’s front wing and possibly Norris could have rear wing damage? Both Mclarens come into the box, Piastri now leads the duo. BUT NOW With a 10 second penalty, And they are retiring both cars so that is both of the mclaren’s OUT OF THE RACE!

[grizzled moss]

Uhh no there's a no dnf cooldown

It's currently lap 23

On lap 30 then it will be disabled

[grizzled moss]

I thought you said albon got jumped lol

I was about to say "bruh it was a vsc and albon had a big lead"

Lol

[grizzled moss]

Wait what happened to magnussen lol?

He was behind zhou

[grizzled moss]

Uhh here

[magic isle]

He pitted under caution

wait i forgot about him

[grizzled moss]

What waaaat?

[magic isle]

he's supposed to be p9

[grizzled moss]

It was just redflag rn

Why would he want to pit?

I'm confused

[grizzled moss]

Forgot abt this

Let's just say he spun and is behind tsunoda from that incident

[magic isle]

ok

[jolly bane]

oh lmao

[hearty swift]

bruh

[grizzled moss]

We got like 4 dnfs in not even 20 laps

[peak patio]

ok whos stopping?

is that sergio perez slowing down on the track? it is

[grizzled moss]

Bruh

No dnfs till lap 30

[peak patio]

Can’t control an engine fail

[grizzled moss]

Bruh we can

Nvm im just gonna void you

[grizzled moss]

BUT NOW PIASTRI IS GONNA SEND A MAGA DIVEBOMB ON NORRIS AND HES P3

Norris and piastri are going wheel to wheel there

And Verstapen seems to get slowed down by thme

Them*

AND RUSSELL IS GONNA STEAL P5 FROM VERSTAPEN

ITS A 4 WAY FIGHT FOR P3

AND VERSTAPEN GETS 2 IN ONE CORNER

THIS IS RACING AT ITS FINEST

[jolly bane]

could say he just spun instead of engine failure?

that’s probably better

[grizzled moss]

Yea ig

[jolly bane]

will make some commentary for that: as we begin lap 25, OH and someone’s round which I believe is Perez turn 9, just completely lost the rear and had a snap, that could put unwanted wear onto Perez’s tyres.

[grizzled moss]

**as of lap 30

1. Albon +/-
2. Zhou +3.023
3. Norris +2.302
4. Verstappen +0.032
5. Piastri +0.123
6. Russell +0.002
7. Tsunoda +0.231
8. Magnussen +1.201
9. Riccardo +1.302
10. Hamilton +1.031
11. Leclerc +0.892
12. Alonso +1.032
13. Sainz +1.021
14. Stroll +2.102
15. Sargeant +5 +1.302
16. Bottas +1.302

DNF:
17. Gasly
18. Perez
19. Ocon
20. Hulkenburg **

[grizzled moss]

Wait Perez is out long time ago

[grizzled moss]

Who am I missing

[grizzled moss]

Sainz

[jolly bane]

OH LMAO

[olive kelp]

Leclerc is closing in on Hamilton Leclerc has the speed down the main straight he’s going to send it ROUND THE OUTSIDE AND HAMILTON GOES INTO A SPIN AND LECLERC HAS DAMAGE

Stewards gonna have to look at that

[mental bough]

FIA: +5 Seconds to Car 16 (LEC) for Causing a Collision

[olive kelp]

LEC: **** Man I gave him the space"

**as of lap 31

1. Albon +/-
2. Zhou +3.530
3. Norris +1.808
4. Verstappen +1.076
5. Piastri +0.573
6. Russell +0.778
7. Tsunoda +0.374
8. Magnussen +1.201
9. Riccardo +1.604

10:Leclerc +0.892
11 Alonso +0.838
12.Sainz +1.021
13.Stroll +2.102
14. Sargeant +5 +1.302
15.Bottas +1.302
16: Hamilton
+17.842

DNF:
17. Gasly
18. Perez
19. Ocon
20. Hulkenburg **

[mental bough]

Lewis Hamilton is going slowly and the Left Rear suspension has snapped

[kindred quarry]

Race Control: Safety Car deployed, all drivers to group behind the Safety Car

[olive kelp]

Albon and Norris are putting on the inters and think it’s dry enough for the tyre

[jolly bane]

As we are about to go racing ladies and gentlemen on lap 34, WE ARE BACK TO GREEN FLAGS AND LANDO NORRIS HAS A INCREDIBLE RESTART, HES SIDE BY SIDE WITH ZHOU GYUANU AND HE GOES AROUND THE OUTSIDE OF TURN ONE TO THE LEAD!

[olive kelp]

But Alex pitted

[jolly bane]

oh wait 😭

then Norris on the outside of Zhou @olive kelp

[magic isle]

AS OF LAP 36 (GREEN FLAG):

1. ZHO +/-
2. VER +0.308
3. PIA +0.264
4. RUS +0.536
5. MAG +1.352
6. RIC +0.263
7. ALO +1.273
8. SAI
9. SAR +5 +0.737
10. ALB +4.374
11. NOR +0.747
12. TSU +0.736
13. LEC +0.747
14. STR +0.271

HAM OUT
GAS OUT
PER OUT
OCO OUT
HUL OUT

[grizzled moss]

And it looks like it's gonna be inters until lap 57

The top 9 go to box for inters

And tsunoda is gaining and gaining

AND HE MAKES THE MOVE AROUND THE OUTSIDE OF NORRIS INTO THE SENNA S

AND TSUNODA IS NOW IN P2

NORRIS IS GONNA TRY BUT HE GOES OFF

NORRIS GETS BACK ON AND OH TSUNODA HAD A BIT OF A MOMENT THERE

But he kept the car going

AS OF LAP 37 (GREEN FLAG):

1. ALB +/-
2. TSU +2.724
3. NOR +1.981
4. LEC +0.010
5. STR +0.271
6. ZHO +26.151
7. VER +0.308
8. PIA +0.264
9. RUS +0.536
10. MAG +1.692
11. RIC +0.643
12. ALO +1.273
13. SAI +1.402
14. SAR +5 +1.737
15. BOT +8.022

HAM OUT
GAS OUT
PER OUT
OCO OUT
HUL OUT

[wild epoch]

bottas is in 15

MAGNUSSEN IS GOING TO LUNGE DOWN THE INSIDE OF RUSSELL, GEtS THE MOVE DONE! Piastri side by side with Verstappen and Verstappen is going to force Piastri off the track! Piastri hits the kerb and is passed by Magnussen, who is on a charge for Max! Magnussen thought about going in the outside there, but swift move from Verstappen to shut the door. Meanwhile, Russell is trying to take advantage of Piastri, and he is going to try a move under braking and gets pass, but PIASTRI DOES THE SWITCHBACK!

: What was that mate? He just forced me onto the kerb! I've lost a position!
: Head down, we've reported it to the stewards
: I dunno, there might be some underbody damage.
: It's just minor damage, nothing major. No need to box, carry on.

: INCIDENT INVOLVING CAR 1(VER) AND CAR 81(PIA) UNDER INVESTIGATION - FORCING ANOTHER DRIVER OFF THE TRACK
: BLACK AND WHITE FLAG FOR CAR 1(VER) - FORCING ANOTHER DRIVER OFF THE TRACK

: They've gotta do something about that, I mean the car feels so much worse. --------!
Rare moment of Piastri losing his cool there, and rightfully so. That should have been a penalty.

[grizzled moss]

And Russell now passes piastri, that contact really hindered his performance

AND MAGNUSSEN SENDS ANOTHER LUNGE WITH A CAPITAL L ON VERSTAPEN
Verstappen is gonna try to overtake he goes to the left he goes to the right and he goes back to the left

[regal cape]

Congrats @grizzled moss, you're now on lap 10

[grizzled moss]

He's gonna try to go around the outside

But magnussen squeezes him out

Martin it looks like Norris is losing time can we see what's happening

And oh Charles leclerc and Norris are battling as to why they are losing time

[grizzled moss]

10 laps later

AS OF LAP 47 (GREEN FLAG):

1. ALB +/-
2. TSU +4.942
3. LEC +5.194
4. NOR +0.981
5. STR +1.271
6. ZHO +26.151
7. VER +0.308
8. RUS +0.536
9. PIA +3.264
10. MAG +0.692
11. ALO +0.013
12. RIC +1.643
13. SAI +0.402
14. SAR +5 +2.037
15. BOT +4.102

HAM OUT
GAS OUT
PER OUT
OCO OUT
HUL OUT

[olive kelp]

The start of lap 48 Martin Albon has a comfortable lead over Tsunada which is rapidly increasing, in theres double waved flags in sector 1 I think its one of the red bulls and it IS! MAX VERSTAPPEN HAS CRASHED INTO THE BARRIER AT TURN 5 THE BARRIER LOOKS COMPLETLY BROKEN

: Safety Car deployed

The cars are now bunching behind Albon and the safety car while a few drivers pit again for a new set of intermediates

, Cars to return to the pitlane

Oh no red flag and Verstappen has got out of his car and getting very angry at what he's done, the drivers who pitted are in trouble now!

Lap 49

1. ALB +/-
2. TSU PITLANE
3. LEC PITLANE
4. NOR +PITLANE
5. STR +PITLANE
6. ZHO +PITLANE
7. RUS PITLANE
8. PIA PITLANE
9. MAG PITLANE
10. RIC +PITLANE
11. ALO PITLANE
12. SAI +PITLANE
13. SAR +5 PITLANE
14. BOT PIT LANE

VER OUT
HAM OUT
GAS OUT
PER OUT
OCO OUT
HUL OUT

[grizzled moss]

Bruh

[olive kelp]

hehe

[grizzled moss]

We've had so many crashes already

[olive kelp]

I could change it from Max to Perez

[grizzled moss]

Another dnf cooldown

No dnfs till lap 60

That's the last dnf till lap 60

🔴

🔴🔴

🔴🔴🔴

🔴🔴🔴🔴

🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴

[olive kelp]

Alr np

We continue?

[grizzled moss]

ITS LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO

GREAT START FROM ALBON

OH AND LANDO HAS GOT AN ANTI STALL THERE

[olive kelp]

OH NO

[grizzled moss]

HE FALLS DOWN THE POSITIONS

OH AND RUSSELL SPINS

DRAMATIC START

Though none of them got damaged

LECERC GOES WIDE STROLL COMES THROUGH

[olive kelp]

My god

[grizzled moss]

AND ZHOU GUANYU WHAT A MOVE HE OVERTAKES BOTH OF THEM

LECERC RIGHT BEHIND STROLL

STROLL GETS DEFENSIVE

AND LECERC CANT MAKE IT

Your current order is
Albon
Tsunoda
Zhou
Stroll
Leclerc
Piastri
Alonso
Magnussen
Sainz
Riccardo
Bottas
Sargent
Russell
Norris

[wild epoch]

An all-asian top 3, incredible scenes in Sao Paulo!

[mental bough]

Lap 50:

STROLL GOES INTO P3!

📻 : YEAH!

[dusk moth]

Lap 51: Albon and Tsunoda are battling at the moment as they head towards T4! OH! And they both force each other off the track, just like Hamilton and Verstappen two years ago! LANCE STROLL TAKES THE LEAD OF THE RACE!

[grizzled moss]

Bruh you can't speak silent language 😭😭😭😭

If you were reading you could see we were all trying to make albon win 😭😭😭😭😭

But you ruined it 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Lap 55: OH LANCE STROLL GOES VERY WIDE AND ALBON PASSES AND TSUNODA,LECERC,ZHOU AND PIASTRI

[grizzled moss]

(P1 change cooldown until lap 71)

Hehehe

Lol

[wild epoch]

lol

[olive kelp]

How many laps left?

[dusk moth]

sorry, i didnt see the msgs above

[clever wren]

five uneventfull laps later, lap 60: sargent crashes out causing a yellow

ending his chance of geting a seat next year

[viscid nebula]

IS THAT HAMILTON? HAMILTON HAS CRASHED OUT UNDER THE SAFETY CAR

[grizzled moss]

Lap 60

1. ALB +/-
2. TSU
3. LEC
4. ZHO
5. STR
6. PIA
7. SAI
8. ALO
9. MAG
10. RIC
11. RUS
12. BOT
13. NOR

SAR OUT
VER OUT
HAM OUT
GAS OUT
PER OUT
OCO OUT
HUL OUT

[olive kelp]

** DNFS DISABLED **

[grizzled moss]

Also he already crashed

[grizzled moss]

Nah why not until lap 65

Or 2 dsq allowed only

[olive kelp]

Okay

2 hours later:

[grizzled moss]

Bruh

It's 71 laps

I said dnfs disabled until lap 65

Not race end

[olive kelp]

oh

[grizzled moss]

Lap 65:
The saftey car is ending

AND ALBON FINESES THE ENTIRE GRID HES GOT ABOUT A 1 SECOND GAP BY TURN 2

CHARLES LECLERC IS GONNA TRY THE OUTSIDE OF TSUNODA BUT TSUNODA DEFENENDS WELL CHARLES IS GONNA TRY THE LEFT BUT OH THAT WAS NEAR CONTACT HE DID NOT SEE ZHOU

And your order on lap 66 is
Albon
Tsunoda
Zhou
Lecerc
Stroll
Piastri
Alonso
Sainz
Russell
Magnussen
Bottas
Norris
Riccardo

And the circuit is getting dry by lap 68 it should be slicks

[jolly bane]

Although it will get dry, everyone will be probably quite stubborn about pitting due to them loosing a lot of track position.

LAP 67: OH and leclerc and Alonso come into the box for a fresh set of softs.

LAP 69: As Albon crosses the line on his inter set of tyres, so do leclerc and Alonso and THEY WERE 6 SECONDS QUICKER LAST LAP!

[regal cape]

Congrats @jolly bane, you're now on lap 25

[jolly bane]

yay

[grizzled moss]

Oh and now as they are ending the lap it is raining really hard all of a sudden

(Like Brazil quali 23 storm)

So lecerc and alonso are gonna be in some big trouble from this strange conditions in Brazil

But luckily both leclerc and alonso are both in top 5

[jolly bane]

leclerc and Alonso now come in AGAIN for the full wet.. what a disaster

[grizzled moss]

Lap 71

It's the final lap

And albon is gonna get he's first win in Formula 1

What an emotional moment for him

Lap 71 (final results)

1. ALB +/-
2. TSU +2.021
3. ZHO +1.320
4. STR +0.032
5. PIA +0.129
6. SAI +3.203
7. MAG +5.302
8. RUS +1.202
9. RIC +5.203
10. BOT +1.032
11. NOR +3.032
12. LEC +23.023
13. ALO < +7.430

SAR OUT
VER OUT
HAM OUT
GAS OUT
PER OUT
OCO OUT
HUL OUT

[dusk moth]

where is the next gp?

[magic isle]

abu dhabi i think

[grizzled moss]

Yea it's Abu dhabi

[mental bough]

bruvk

Post race

ALBON Disqualified

|| i just wanna see Mr Temper Tantrum win ||

[wild epoch]

bro

no

Guys since it's the season finale let's start with qualifying

like commentary starting from Q1

[grizzled moss]

Bruh that was the final result

I said in brackets

[grizzled moss]

He agrees too

[grizzled moss]

Ok

[grizzled moss]

And this will be an important qualifying as bottas and alonso are separated by 1 point

And Q1 starts

[mental bough]

alonso wins bruvski

[grizzled moss]

Alonso got no points last race

Wait it's a 1 point difference

They were tired for brazil

[grizzled moss]

Look

[mental bough]

ok idrc

[grizzled moss]

Umm maybe we should skip the quali cuz this is dead

[wild epoch]

alr

[magic isle]

https://tenor.com/view/formula1-f1-formula-race-gif-22044209

Welcome one and all, to the 2023 Abu Dhabi GP! This is a place where dreams are made and hopes are crushed, championships are won and lost, and dramas large and small have happened. It's the season finale, it's the Yas Island Circuit, it's November, and it's just one point between Valtteri Bottas in the Alfa Romeo and Fernando Alonso in the Aston Martin.

The Yas Island Circuit, better known as Yas Marina, is a condensed track situated on the Yas Island in Abu Dhabi. We are sure to see some great action on the run down to Turn One, with Lance Stroll on pole after an exceptional qualifying performance from the Williams of Alex Albon was removed due to track limits.

Let's talk about the grid order today after an amazing qualifying.

Lance Stroll is our polesitter then, with Valtteri Bottas alongside him; Bottas' championship rival Alonso is third on the grid today. Alexander Albon is fourth in the Williams following a lap time deletion for track limits. Max Verstappen lines up fifth on the grid with an outside chance of the title and teammate Sergio Pérez is sixth.
Seventh goes to George Russell after crashing in Q3 and not managing to have a second run, and Logan Sargeant is P8.
Neither Zhou Guanyu nor Yuki Tsunoda were able to set a single time; a lap time deletion for Zhou and a Q2 crash for Tsunoda put them out of the race.

Lewis Hamilton was eliminated in Q2 unfortunately after having an off at Turn 4, and he lines up with Pierre Gasly's Alpine alongside him. Alpine teammate Esteban Ocon is P13, just nine thousandths of a second in front of Charles Leclerc who hit track limits and did not set a second lap. Carlos Sainz had a 10 place grid drop after an engine failure in practice and P5 in qualifying; he rounds out the top fifteen.

Nico Hulkenburg and Kevin Magnussen, the friends from Haas, are P16 and P17 then, Daniel Ricciardo is eighteenth, and Lando Norris and Oscar Piastri round out the grid.

Keep an eye out for Carlos Sainz to make some places then, as he was fastest in FP2 and P5 in qualifying. Alex Albon is also looking strong after his win in Brazil, and Zhou Guanyu looks to be on too form despite doubts over his capabilities.
But all eyes, are, of course, on the two championship contenders, the Finn and the Spaniard, Valtteri Bottas and Fernando Alonso. They are P2 and P3, and a crucial factor is that fellow Aston Martin driver Lance Stroll is ahead of both cars, and most likely will let teammate Alonso through and play the rear-gunner to fend off the Flying Finn. Bottas, meanwhile, will have to try and clear both green machines as soon as possible, as he is by himself at the sharp end of the grid, with teammate Zhou unfortunately getting his time, good for P4, deleted by the race stewards.

[olive kelp]

And 15 seconds to go here and the tyre blankets come off for the final time this season, and the clock strikes the hour and we're underway here in Abu Dhabi. All getting away well while the teams are warming up the tyres except valterii, must be a kimi reference? And we're onboard with Fernando Alonso who is just behind the 2 cars and his tyres are looking nice and fresh, starting on the medium, looking for a 1 stop. Pirelli predicting a 2 stop race with soft, medium soft and a 1 stopper with medium and hard. And here comes lance stroll, round the final corner. And parks into grid slot number 1, With Bottass then Albon. All cars going through well and Nyck de vries parks up in the final slot.

https://tenor.com/view/f1-gif-24939062

And here we go for one last time! Hopes we're crushed in 2021, will it happen again? And it lights out and away we GO!

https://tenor.com/view/hamilton-formula1-f1-gif-21845236

And bottas gets an amazing start, pushing the aston martin too the side, into turn 1, whos going to come out infront?
(ingore the lock up)

AND DOWN THE INSIDE GOES BOTASS AND INTO THE LEAD OF THE RACE!

We have a yellow flag further back and its the 2 alpines! At the back looks like they have both crashed!

Ocon: WHAT THE ****, IS HE BLIND?

[grizzled moss]

AND FERNANDO ALONSO AS SLIPPED INTO P2

And the virtual saftey car is out

[frail fable]

Vsc ended we’re going green

[vocal silo]

verstappen closes the gap the to car in front of him immediately after Vsc

[magic isle]

Bottas leads, from Alonso, Albon, Stroll, Verstappen, Sargeant, Russell, Pérez, Zhou and Hamilton, then comes Leclerc, Sainz, Magnussen, Norris, Piastri has no front wing, Tsunoda has a puncture, Ricciardo and Hulkenburg.

[grizzled moss]

Piastri and tsunoda pits

And alonso is gonna send it down the inside

And he takes the lead of the race

Alonso radio 📻
📻 : Sí sí Ay What a move
📻 : okay you got the car speed so make that gap

[magic isle]

It's not all bad for Bottas however; he's right on the tail of thechampionship leader. Whoever finishes ahead today will be 2023 World Champion.

[vocal silo]

But verstappen has newer tyres so bottas can't follow him behind

[olive kelp]

** AS IT STANDS **

Alonso - 298 PTS
Bottas - 295 PTS
Albon - 282 PTS

As it stands ALONSO will be champion.

[magic isle]

||bottas is ahead by 1 point - so alonso in P1 and bottas in p2 makes it a six point deficit not three||

And that's a McLaren going very slowly indeed! It's Lando Norris, who is missing his rear wing! What has happened there!? Lando Norris is out of the race! Let's have a replay and see what happened.

https://tenor.com/view/its-broken-broken-lando-norris-f1-spa-gif-15242537

[wild epoch]

You can see here at turn 9, Lando loses control and the car violently snapps outward towards the outside wall at a very high speed, lucklily the impact was not that extreme since the barrier is far from the track. You can see the rear wing sitting there, and the marshals clear it away.

Bottas boxes early, it looks like he's doing the 2 stop! Risky move by Alfa Romeo. Alonso seems to have made a little mistake as he rejoins the track, but not before Albon is right on his tail! They're side by side and Alonso will push him to the outside and takes the lead into turn 5! Is Albon FAR ENOUGH BACK AND HES GONNA MAKE THE LUNGE DOWN THE INSIDE! HAMILTON SEES IT COMING, ITS A LATE LUNGE BY ALBON, WHO TAKES THE LEAD OF THE RACE!

[grizzled moss]

Lap 15

1. Albon +/-
2. Hamilton +0.405
3. Alonso +0.032
4. Bottas +0.801
5. Verstappen +0.017

[exotic plinth]

As we're seeing right now Albon seems to be speeding like an Altima driver

[thin kindle]

And welcome one and all to the first annual WAGS Grand Prix! Looking at the starting grid here, got an (expected) front row after an amazing qualifying from Piquet!

And as for row 3, somehow a dog made it to P5, along with Strolls right hand!

Looking at row 5, impressive showcase from the gamers and the Americans!

And in our back row, it’s a battle between sadness and the lesser known Lily…

The cars are lined up, and it’s 5 lights on…

LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO!

The cars are zooming fast! And OH NO… SADNESS KNOCKS MARTINEZ OFF THE TRACK AT TURN 1!

Meanwhile, all the cars have gone, but Roscoe, it’s seem he is just there for the biscuits.

[olive kelp]

We were doing a race.

[olive kelp]

^^

[grave oriole]

and OH NO sainz into the gravel ONCE AGAIN

[thin kindle]

it said make your own race so I kinda ran with it

[vocal silo]

bottas and Alonso start fighting, they go both wide and THROUGH GOES VERSTAPPEN

[olive kelp]

Fair enough

Let’s just restart everyone

[grizzled moss]

Nah we still continue

And alsono defends from bottas and now 2 cars overtake him on the soft tires

[raven oak]

Can he still carry on?

[vocal silo]

Albon +/-
Hamilton +0.429
Verstappen +0.019
Alonso +2.617
Bottas +1.002

[grizzled moss]

Huh?

Bottas is p4 and loses two po

Positions*

[vocal silo]

oh ok

didn't understand it right

fixed it

[magic isle]

Alonso is looking in much better form than three laps ago, but the soft tyre will not last to the end. Bottas can go to the end on his hards, so the question is, can Alonso open up that 23 second gap before he has to pit?

[grizzled moss]

And looks like bottas has an issue with his car

And the gap between alsono and bottas is now 25 seconds

2 laps later
The issue is fixed but the gap between them is now 32 seconds

[magic isle]

Okay Fernando, box this lap, box this lap. Easy on the engine, we risk a failure if we push now.

Copy

[grizzled moss]

Wait let's make a rule for this race

Alonso and bottas can't dsq,dnf or anything like that penaltys and damage can only be done

[magic isle]

the two championship rivals have to finish

[grizzled moss]

Yea

[magic isle]

If penalties occur, it is to bring the two cars close to eacv other

[grizzled moss]

Ok

[magic isle]

Bottas has reduced the gap to thirty seconds in five laps, Alonso still has to pit but is nursing his car home. Don't forget, if you're a Sky Queue or a Sky Glass customer, you can press your red button to watch the highlights alongside the live action. It's lap 25 of 57, and things are heating up here at Abu Dhabi. If you've just joined us, Fernando Alonso and Valtteri Bottas, our two main championship contenders, are separated by one point. Alonso is in the lead but needs to pit one more time, while Bottas is in third but is thirty seconds behind. Albon could also win the title, but he needs both Bottas and Alonso to finish no lower than fourth here at Abu Dhabi.

[grizzled moss]

Wait bottas in 3rd?

He was 7

And then bc of the issue that's like p9

Ok let's keep it at that

2 Laps Later

Hamilton and Verstapen just can't lose each other and OHH THATS A BIG CRASH

And Albon gets collected in it

And the red flag is out

[magic isle]

people pitted

[grizzled moss]

Yea that's why I said let's keep it at that

Alonso can now put on the medims as he has driven long enough on the softs

(Someone make leaderboard I'm too lazy)

[shrewd plinth]

The drivers are back out under a safety car for now, the gap gone, it will be a certainly interesting restart. Sainz, Stroll have retired during the pause. Hamilton and Verstappen have been moved to the medical centre. The leaderboard as it stands
1 - Alonso
2 - Albon
3 - Bottas - FASTEST LAP
4 - Russell
5 - Piastri
6 - Sargeant
7 - Norris
8 - Leclerc
9 - Tsunoda
10 - Perez - 5s penalty, intentional collision
11 - Lawson - 5s penalty, track limits
12 -Hulkenberg
13 - Zhou
14 - Gasly
15 - Magnussen
16 - Ocon - 20s penalty - breathing too loudly in the paddock

[magic isle]

Alonso has the mediums on. Bottas has the softs on. Albon has the softs on. These three men have fought season-long for this one race. They finished on the podium in Australia. They qualified 1-2-3 in Monaco. They qualified 2-3-4 here in Abu Dhabi. They are 1-2-3 on the grid here for the restart. The flag man is walking across the track, we are going racing once again~

🔴 🔴 🔴 🔴 🔴

🟢 🟢 🟢 🟢 🟢

[shrewd plinth]

Alonso with a poor start, albon takes first while bottas and russell are wheel to wheel but its russel who overtakes and now in second. Tsunoda, perez and leclerc take it three wide but its tsunoda who takes 8th in turn 1 . Sargeant and Piastri have a battle in the midfield

[supple drift]

And Piastri locks up into turn 2 there which allows Sargeant to pass

[shrewd plinth]

3 laps later

[supple drift]

What lap we on

[shrewd plinth]

30

[grizzled moss]

Albon
Alonso
Russell
Bottas

And now alonso is gonna make the overtake on the start/finish straight and sets the fastest lap of the race

-And Esteban ocon now has a 5 second penalty for having a girlfriend-

[twilit relic]

Another 5 second penalty that Ocon recieves for breathing

[grizzled moss]

10 laps later
Alonso
Albon
Russell
Bottas

[grizzled moss]

And bottas overtakes Russell

[shrewd plinth]

But Russell gets the drs and they're wheel to wheel

[magic isle]

And that's Magnussen, Kevin Magnussen has hit the wall! The Haas car is completely destroyed! This will be a full safety car for sure.

Albon, Alonso, Bottas and Russell are all in the pits, the three championship contenders hoping for no red flags, but will they get their wish?

[grizzled moss]

They are all on fresh softs

5 laps later
Alonso
Albon
Bottas
Russell

[shrewd plinth]

Ocon disqualified for appealing the warnings

This is an insane race, 6 out and 14 remain, bottas locks up Russell takes the outside line and gets back into that third position but theyre past the detection zone and Russell speeds away with DRS

[grizzled moss]

3 laps later bottas is gonna try again on Russell he gets drs for the long straight

He gets ahead

And Russell now gets drs on the following zone

RUSSELL TAKES THE INSDIE AND ALONSO GOES TO THE INSIDE OF RUSSELL

THEY ARE SIDE BY SIDE

Bottas gets ahed but Russell divebombs him

And bottas does an incredible defense move

And he caught Russell out

Meanwhile alonso is leading the race by 5 seconds

(Lap 48)

[magic isle]

If Albon wants to win the championship, he has to win and neither Alonso or Bottas can finish in the top 2. If Alonso or Bottas want to win, they must finish ahead of the other person. There's 25 laps to go, and the order is Alonso, Albon, Russell, and Bottas.

[wild epoch]

This thread expired s

reviving it now

[placid lagoon]

my dumbass thought those images had to load

[chilly blade]

lol

[magic isle]

same and i only realized it thanks to you

[wild epoch]

lol

[grizzled moss]

It's lap 50 and the championship fight is still under way

(Come on revive this shit

[chilly blade]

ur2d2 better, actual racing instead of random fake commentary

[grizzled moss]

Fr

8 laps later and Fernando is world champion

https://tenor.com/view/fernando-alonso-formel1-formula1-f1-gif-10123119

[placid lagoon]

agreed

gp4 also better

[chilly blade]

gp4 = ur2d2
(i have equal respect for both)

[placid lagoon]

real shit

[clever wren]

welcome everyone to the virtual gp and in 34 days will be back racing for real

[clever wren]

And here’s is the starting lineups in row 10 is max and Checo. Row 9 Lewis Hamilton and Alonso. Row 8 is George Russell and Sargent. Row 7 is Zhou and bottas. Row 6 is Norris and piastry . Row 5 is lance stroll and dany rick. Row 4 is tunoda and ocon. Row 3 is gasly and hulkenburg, row 2 is Leclerc and sainz, row 1 is albon and kevin Magnussen

and it’s lights out and away we go Everyone has a good start down the main straight we go and what’s this max and Checo collide after turn one forcing them out and damaging lewis Hamilton and Alonso’s cars

Out: max and Checo

Here comes the meetball flag for Hamilton and alonso

Devastating day for Alonso and Hamilton after qualifying poorly

[clever wren]

Green flag after 5 laps laps of safety car

here comes albon down the straight he’s passing hulkenburg and… he did now albon is in the lead after 6 laps

20 boring laps later it’s still the same running order as the start except for albon having a 69 second gap to the 2nd place car

[keen sage]

LECLERC LOCKS UP IN TURN 4! AND HE IS IN THE BARRIERS!

[dusk moth]

OH AND ONCE AGAIN ITS MISERY FOR THE MONEGASQUE? Was that a car issue, or a driver error? But the real question is... Can he go on?

[magic isle]

It looks like he can, Crofty, but that will be a Safety Car for sure - there's bits of Prancing Horse all about the barrier.

[undone rivet]

every race in this forum has safety cars or red flags

@placid lagoon regulate smh

[keen sage]

Yes but isn't this standard for an F1 race?

[placid lagoon]

not this amount lmao

[young pulsar]

safety car is coming out here, all the drivers slowing down to the required speed, 40% slower than normal, and Leclerc walks away from his car frustrated and sure to come back with a vengeance

[clever wren]

after a couple laps of safety car the car pulls in and we are restarting a good launch for albon and hulkenburg being behind ablon here comes sainz he passes hulkenburg for 2nd place and chasing down albon

30 laps later: 10 laps to go and the runing order is still the same albon got his 69 second gap back with huleknburg falling behind and sainz trying to hunt down albon with sargent in 3rd battleing for 2nd and here comes sargent passing sainz for 2nd making it a 1-2 for willams my oh my

[clever wren]

agreed and its allways ferrari and red bull that causes the red or yellow flags

driver eliminations: Hamilton,alonso,perez,max and leclerc

my oh my what a race so many driver dnfs

[chilly blade]

a red flag is uncommon, we only get it once every about 6-7 races

safety cars happen most races but usually only a couple of times

[shrewd plinth]

Ocon was dsq for breathing

[clever wren]

black flag is out deer oh deer alpine will be furious with ocon after this

final lap it looks like Williams will get a 1-2 finish and here they come across the line with sainz finishing 3rd and the Williams 1-2 my oh my what a wild race

[cedar vine]

Holy cow

No one talks here anymore

Crazy

[kindred quarry]

it got pretty unrealistic with like 3 red flags every race and everyone doing "xx has crashed with xx, safety car" or smin

[jolly bane]

omg it lite out and away we go for monco grand pree!!!!

oh no sainz be silly goober and lock up how silly! oh wow i think checo car is um slight damage with the haas’s watching over him and checking hes ok how nice. oh and the french civil war begins again!! ok nvm kmag is just a crazy viking man yes.

it lite out and away we go!!! (again!!)

no pit stops wow how crazy, omg is that lance stroll with a tire going bye bye?! wow at least we get a pit stop so dat pretty cool

and charle leklerk wins in monaco wow!!

And that ladies and gentlemen, is Monaco summed up.

[icy fern]

leclerc dqed

[neon heart]

Allow me to begin the commentary for the next race
Welcome to beautiful Circuit Gilles Villenueve in Montreal, we are here for the Canadian Grand Prix!

Let's go over our starting grid for this race!

[tight cipher]

And that's another 40 second time penalty for Ocon for singing the national anthem wrong

[stuck herald]

AND THATS LECLERC IN THE BARIIERS

[gritty crystal]

And that is a 20 second penalty for ocon

[merry rune]

And Max Verstappen with a fantastic pole time in qualifying, starts the race from pole position.

[gritty crystal]

Followed by Nicholas Latifi who starts on the front row alongside him

[tight cipher]

Disappointing qualifying from Sergio Perez , who only manages to qualify in 16th.

[patent island]

Max Verstappen makes a big mistake allowing Nicholas Latifi to take the lead!

[regal cape]

Congrats @patent island, you're now on lap 5

[neon heart]

Here comes Sebastian Vettel on the outside of Max! He's trying to make the move on him, will he pull it off?

[tender rune]

AND HE PULLED IT OFF WOW!

[neon heart]

Let's go onboard with Vettel to see how he-
AND WHAT HAS HAPPENED WE NEED TO KNOW!!!

It appears that Lance Stroll has suffered a tire puncture! He has managed to get to the pits however, so it will not result in a safety car.

[gritty crystal]

And the stewards have announced a 10 second stop and go penalty for ocon for causing strolls puncture

[placid lagoon]

are we back?

we are back

[patent island]

OH NO! ITS KEVIN MAGNUSSEN AND LEWIS HAMILTON IN THE WALLS!

[gritty crystal]

And that will give kmag his 12 penalty point meaning he will be missing the next Grand Prix

[tender rune]

George russell going into the pits going down 4 positions.

Alonso overtakes max verstappen.

AND RUSSELL HITS VERSTAPPEN IN THE BACK LEFT TYRE MAKING VERSTAPPEN INTO THE BARRIERS!

VERSTAPPEN IS OUT1

[tender dagger]

bro be so fr right now

[blissful idol]

Bro

[tender rune]

ima just remove that

[woeful skiff]

FIA Statement

After careful examination, Car 1 (VER) has gone through medical procedures and has been declared fit to race from today onward.

[outer barn]

woohoo!

[woeful skiff]

Right I’m just gonna reset this

New Season Lineup:
VER-RIC
LEC-HAM
NOR-PIA
RUS-ALB
ALO-PER
GAS-DOO
SAR-POU
TSU-LAW
HÜL-SAI
BOT-BEA

2025 Australian Grand Prix

5 Place Grid Penalty For Car 10 (GAS) - Changes in Parc Fermé

STARTING GRID
RIC
VER
HAM
NOR
LEC
ALB
RUS
PIA
ALO
TSU
PER
BOT
LAW
HÜL
SAR
SAI
BEA
DOO
GAS
POU

It’s lights out and away we go!

The two Red Bulls and Hamilton are three wide into turn 1, and Hamilton makes the move stick! Verstappen slots in behind, and pole sitter Ricciardo is now coming under pressure from Norris!

Further back, an amazing getaway from the Williams of Logan Sargeant, who is already up to P12 behind Nico Hülkenberg.

Lap 10/58

Here comes Sergio Pérez gaining on Yuki Tsunoda, and he nearly misses out at Turn 8!

He’s gonna get DRS down the backstretch, and goes down the inside of Tsunoda from turn 10! What a move from the Mexican, back in his old family.

Lap 18/58
Carlos Sainz is the first to pit out of the drivers. A good stop, and he’s gonna come out a second behind last placed Théo Pourchaire.

ALB: Engine cut out.
Mercedes: Stop the car, Alex.

That is Alexander Albon retiring on the third DRS zone. He’s stopped on the racing line with no time to park elsewhere. That’s dangerous, but surely a yellow flag would be called out, right?

This isn’t good. Oliver Bearman has shunted into the back of Albon’s stricken car. Could the race be neutralized?

RED FLAG! AND NOBODY ELSE HAS PITTED BESIDES SAINZ!

FIA ANNOUNCEMENT: Race Will Restart On Lap 25/58

Restart Order:
HAM
VER
NOR
LEC
RUS
PIA
RIC
PER
ALO
TSU
SAR
BOT
HÜL
DOO
LAW
GAS
SAI
POU
BEA
ALB

The free pitstop has allowed Sainz to switch to the medium tires, with Sargeant, Hülkenberg & Pérez doing the same. Everyone else is on the hard tires. Will this pay off?

Lap 26/58
Everyone is back on the grid.

The race restarts! Hamilton keeps his lead over Verstappen, and there seems to be no changes at the front. But look at Logan Sargeant, who has overtaken Yuki Tsunoda for P10! He’s catching Fernando Alonso now, could he have a chance at getting points?

Lap 33/58
Charles Leclerc is gaining on Lando Norris, is he gonna try a move into T1? Norris defends, but Leclerc is gonna get another DRS helping and go round the outside of T4, which still doesn’t work! Norris really wants a podium today.

Lap 36/58
PER

Those mediums don’t seem to be going away for Pérez, as Sargeant DOES get past Alonso for P9!

Hard tires expected to get better in net 10 laps.
SAR: How big of a gap do we need to have?
Estimated 15 seconds.

That’s a big job to ask of Sargeant, but is almost guaranteed points with Tsunoda a further 15 seconds back.

Lap 42/58
Valtteri Bottas is slowly catching up to Tsunoda, with Hülkenberg following Bottas by his DRS.

Bottas makes the move into T1, and he locks up! Both of them have to slow down immensely, and Hülkenberg takes P10!

Bottas is gonna have another go at him into T4, and makes it stick! Hülkenberg almost gets overtaken by Tsunoda, but manages to hold on for now.

That’s not de Vries, that’s Pourchaire who’s gone off at T10. He’s managed to keep it going, but this has not been a great debut from him.

Lap 43/58
Max, we’re gonna box and try to get Hamilton.

Verstappen pits for the softs! He stays P2, but is now 21 seconds behind Hamilton. Is this gonna pay off?

HAM: When’s Max gonna catch us?
We are checking . . .

Lap 46/58
VER

Lap 48/58
VER

Lap 49/58
VER

Lap 52/58
VER

With each passing lap, Verstappen is inching closer to Hamilton, who is average 1.5 seconds slower each lap.

Lap 54/58
Hamilton starts managing his tires better and improves his lap average.

Max, we’re gonna need to back off. Bring it home.

That, ladies and gentelmen, has ended any hope of Verstappen closing a 6-second gap to Hamilton before the end of the race.

WINNER: CAR 44 ( HAM)

CAR 33 ( VER)

DOTD: CAR 2 ( SAR)

RESULTS
HAM
VER
NOR
LEC
RUS
RIC
PER
PIA
SAR
BOT
HÜL
ALO
TSU
DOO
SAI
LAW
GAS
POU
BEA
ALB

Reigning world champions Ferrari lead the constructors, but not the race Leclerc would have wanted to start of his championship defending season.

[woeful skiff]

2025 Malaysian Grand Prix

[placid lagoon]

did we even finish the 2023 season?

[woeful skiff]

STARTING GRID
LEC
VER
HAM
NOR
RIC
ALB
PIA
RUS
PER
ALO
BOT
BEA
SAR
SAI
HÜL
GAS
TSU
LAW
POU
DOO

[neon heart]

AND IT'S LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO! Leclerc gets a beautiful start but Verstappen is right with him! But they're both under pressure from Hamilton on the inside, can he make the move? HE DOES! Lewis Hamilton takes the lead of the Malaysian Grand Prix!

[icy fern]

Meanwhile, Sergio Perez and Fernando Alonso, through turns 3 and 4, ARE WHEEL TO WHEEL! AND THEY MAKE CONTACT! IT SEEMS PEREZ HAS A PUNCTURE!

PEREZ RADIO: For ****** sake man!

Perez comes into the pits as we’re on to lap 2 of 49!

LAP 2/49
HAM
LEC
VER
NOR
ALB
RIC
PIA
BEA
RUS
BOT
SAI
SAR
HÜL
LAW
ALO
TSU
GAS
POU
DOO
PER

As we now see Max Verstappen, gaining, gaining, gaining on Charles Leclerc, he’s GONNA MAKE A MOVE FOR IT!

AND LECLERC LOCKS UP INTO TURN 1 AND GOES OFF TO TRACK! HE’S LOST A COUPLE PLACES ALONG WITH IT!

RADIO: “**** THERES NO GRIP AT ALL!”

As we now pan over to Liam Lawson MAKING A MOVE on Nico Hulkenberg through turn 3! A brilliant move by the Kiwi!

RADIO: “Fernando, we have critical damage, retire the car.”

Heartbreak for Fernando Alonso!

LAP 4/49
HAM
VER
NOR
ALB
RIC
LEC
BEA
PIA
RUS
BOT
SAI
SAR
LAW
HÜL
TSU
GAS
POU
DOO
PER
ALO

: ** “RAIN EXPECTED IN 8 LAPS”**

Wow! Shocking message!

to : ** BOX BOX BOX! **

Wow! Strange decision from Ferrari! As the clouds get darker, Charles Leclerc pits for new Soft Tyres!

And now, Here’s Carlos Sainz in the Sauber trying to get past Valtteri Bottas! He’s gaining with the DRS, AND HE MAKES A MOVE ON VALTTERI BOTTAS AND HAS TO GO ON THE GRASS! WHAT AN OVERTAKE BY THE SPANIARD!

Ollie Bearman having a great race - Still holding up the much quicker McLA- AND OH DEAR!

THEO POURCHAIRE HAS GONE INTO THE BARRIERS AT TURN 1 OF ALL PLACES.

POU RADIO: “Tyre failure.”

A scary 200mph crash for theo pourchaire.

AND WE HAVE A RED FLAG!

** LEC RADIO:** “WHAT THE ••••? ARE YOU SERIOUS! WHAT ARE WE DOING!”

TERRIBLE NEWS FOR LECLERC AS HE IS NOW AT BOTTOM OF THE ORDER!

LAP 8/49
HAM
VER
NOR
ALB
RIC
BEA
PIA
RUS
SAI
BOT
LAW
SAR
HÜL
TSU
GAS
DOO
LEC
PER
POU
ALO

[woeful skiff]

Right

New rule

Starting from now onward, the red flag can only be deployed every 5 races from its last use

[kindred quarry]

its been tried and nobody will do that, people love going "safety car" "red flag" "crash"

[woeful skiff]

Yeah no more of that

[woeful skiff]

The race will restart on lap 10, which is enough time for the track to clear up and start raining.

Everyone is on inters bar the two Ferraris and Bearman - all of whom are on the mediums. Will this tactic work?

A great start from Hamilton as he’s already a second into the lead by T4! AND LOOK AT OLIVER BEARMAN, WHO IS MAKING HIS WAY UP TO P3 BEHIND VERSTAPPEN!

Leclerc tussles past the two Alpines so far.

BEARMAN PASSES VERSTAPPEN FOR P2 ON THE NEXT LAP! THE SLICKS ARE THE TIRES TO BE ON ATM!

Everyone bar Ferrari and Bearman are coming in. Leclerc will gain a load of positions from this.

LAP 13/49
HAM
BEA
LEC
VER
NOR
ALB
RIC
PIA
RUS
SAI
BOT
LAW
SAR
HÜL
TSU
GAS
PER
DOO
POU
ALO

Bearman is now 13 seconds ahead of Leclerc, who is a further 5 seconds ahead of Verstappen! Has Bearman made the strategy of the weekend?

LAP 16/49
HAM
BEA
LEC
VER
NOR
ALB
RIC
PIA
RUS
SAI
BOT
LAW
SAR
HÜL
TSU
GAS
PER
DOO
POU
ALO

A fair amount of people on the hards. Mercedes and RB are the only teams to go both cars on the hards.

LAP 25/49
There has been no changes in the pecking order thus far, but Leclerc has been gaining on Bearman by 1 second a lap, with Verstappen a further 7 behind.

📻 : Hard tires expected to improve in 5 laps.

LEC: How many laps left?

📻 : 23.

Has this red flag opened up a window for soft tires to come at the end?

Who’s off? That’s Valtteri Bottas trailing off the track in T12.

The replay shows he locked up, and he’s now been passed by Liam Lawson for P11.

LAP 27/49

📻 : Do you wanna fight Leclerc?

BEA: I’ll try.

That’s a huge statement from Bearman as Leclerc is sizing up a move into T4.

Leclerc sees the gap, tries a move down the inside, and DIVES down the inside! Bearman is going wheel to wheel, and nothing changes so far.

Verstappen is now closing in through the battle with 5 seconds to them. Can Bearman hold them off long enough for when his hard tires start bettering?

LAP 29/49
Leclerc goes down the inside of Bearman into T1! Bearman squeezes him off into T2, and he’s made a 0.7 gap from it!

Bearman is now extending the gap to 1.1 seconds, with Hamilton a comfortable 10.5 in front. Could he fancy the win if he manages these tires to the end?

LAP 31/49
It’s now 1.5 seconds between Bearman and Leclerc, and the temperature forecast suggests he could potentially manage them until the end.

What about the other Haas car of Valtteri Bottas? He’s closing in on Carlos Sainz, with only 0.5 seconds separating them.

Bottas seeks a move into T6, and makes it stick! What a great move from him.

[neon heart]

There's a HAAS on fire in turn 7! It appears it's Bottas!

📻 : Stop the car Valtteri, get out of there.

BOT: ----! Sorry guys.

[woeful skiff]

And a NEW rule

SC can only come out every 3 races, and each additional race you wait is another use added

[woeful skiff]

Actually no

No SC

Scrap that

Bottas is still in

Pretend that never happened

LAP 34/49
The Ferrari pit box has a crew out. Could someone be pitting here?

📻 Max, box opposite Leclerc.

Leclerc flukes him! Verstappen pits for softs

Verstappen retains P4, 5 seconds ahead of Norris.

HAM: Has Bearman pitted?

📻 So Bearman and Leclerc are still out there. Verstappen has pitted for new mediums

LEC: Box box box!

Leclerc comes in for new softs! This will give Bearman some breathing space, but the gap was only 2.5 seconds when Leclerc came in!

📻 Leclerc has pitted for new softs.

BEA: Box!

Bearman’s coming in. But Leclerc has managed to reel in 3 seconds . . .

LAP 38/49
Bearman pits for softs, comes out alongside Leclerc, and Leclerc takes 2nd!

Bearman has 6 seconds to Verstappen, can he hold on for a podium?

LAP 40/49
VER — 5.108 — BEA

LAP 42/49
VER — 4.497 — BEA

LAP 45/49
VER — 3.392 — BEA

Verstappen is slowly gaining on Bearman, but the fact that he has DRS to Leclerc isn’t helping him.

Further back, Danny Ric makes a VERY LATE divebomb on Alex Albon & Lando Norris! The order from 5th to 7th is Ricciardo, Albon, Norris.

LAP 49/49

VER — 1.258 — BEA

It’s too late for Verstappen, folks. He won’t be able to make up the deficit.

** WINNER: CAR 44 ( HAM) **

A second straight victory for Hamilton, the red suit is surely fitting his prospects.

DOTD: CAR 38 ( BEA)

GIVE IT UP FOR OLIVER BEARMAN, A CAREER FIRST PODIUM IN FORMULA ONE!

CAR 81 ( PIA)

RESULTS
HAM
LEC
BEA
VER
RIC
ALB
NOR
PIA
RUS
SAI
BOT
LAW
HÜL
TSU
SAR
GAS
PER
DOO*
POU
ALO

*Driver did not finish the race, but was classified for completing over 90% of the race distance.

[woeful skiff]

Oh, and since we’re creating the rules here . . .

ANDRETTI TO JOIN F1 GRID FROM 2026 ONWARD

[placid lagoon]

I was doing this for 2023😭😭

haven't finished it tho

[icy fern]

BREAKING: FERNANDO ALONSO SET TO RETIRE AT THE END OF THE 2025 SEASON

[woeful skiff]

Oh SHOOT

Alright we’ll allow one future grid move every 3 races

[icy fern]

2025 Bahrain Grand Prix

[tender rune]

STARTING GRID
LEC
VER
HAM
NOR
RIC
ALB
PIA
RUS
PER
ALO
BOT
BEA
SAR
SAI
HÜL
GAS
TSU
LAW
POU
DOO

AND WE ARE LIGHTS OUT! Verstappen quickly overtakes leclerc

[woeful skiff]

Further back, Alonso’s gotten past Pérez and Russell!

LAP 5/57
VER
LEC
HAM
NOR
RIC
ALB
PIA
ALO
RUS
PER
BOT
BEA
SAI
SAR
HÜL
TSU
GAS
LAW
POU
DOO

[woeful skiff]

LAP 19/57

: Box, Max.

Verstappen’s coming in for the hard tires. Can Leclerc extend enough to make an overcut work?

[woeful skiff]

LAP 22/57
📻 : Box, Charles.

Leclerc comes in for the hard tires, and comes out ahead of Verstappen!

The overcut was successful, but Verstappen has much warmer tires, and he’s only a second behind.

[patent island]

And max Verstappen has DRS on Leclerc and he takes the lead of the race!
But Leclerc has the inside line and goes late on the brakes and he gets back into the lead!
Meanwhile Alex Albon and Oscar piastri go side by side but Alex Albon defends and keeps the position!

[woeful skiff]

LAP 31/57
Sainz is the last to pit out of all the drivers. AWS predicted that we would have a two stop race, but could this very well be a one stop?

LAP 34/57
Leclerc seems to be gaining on Verstappen, goes down the inside, and retakes the lead! He’s flying out there as the track works for him.

Nobody’s stopped, but there’s a bollard on track. Who hit it?

VIRTUAL SAFETY CAR

The VSC comes out for half a minute, and Verstappen comes in! He’s pitting for a fresh set of mediums with the VSC not making him lose too much time!

GREEN FLAG

Verstappen comes out of the pitlane, 5 seconds behind Hamilton and a further 10 away from Leclerc.

Now we can see the replay, and it looks like Pierre Gasly had a huge snap of understeer while fighting Yuki Tsunoda.

LAP 38/57
VER — 4.386 — HAM

Verstappen is slowly reeling in the championship leader, but only has 20 laps to make up 15 seconds.

LAP 42/57
LEC
HAM
VER
NOR
RIC
ALB
PIA
ALO
RUS
PER
BOT
BEA
SAI
SAR
HÜL
TSU
LAW
POU
DOO
GAS

LAP 43/57
Down the inside goes Daniel Ricciardo on Lando Norris! What a late move into the final corner, but he’s made it stick!

LAP 45/57
Verstappen has DRS. Lewis knows he needs to defend for Charles to win, and he is 9.8 seconds in front.

Verstappen sends it down the inside at T1, and goes wheel to wheel! Hamilton will squeeze him to the inside, but Verstappen gets another DRS helping, and moves himself past into Turn 4!

LAP 46/57
VER — 7.898 — LEC

Verstappen has 12 laps left to catch Leclerc and win the Bahrain Grand Prix. Can he do it? He surely has the tire life to do so . . .

LAP 48/57
VER — 7.405 — LEC

LAP 50/57
VER — 6.010 — LEC

LAP 52/57
VER — 4.903 — LEC

LAP 54/57
VER — 3.287 — LEC
That’s 5 consecutive fastest laps for Verstappen, who is right on Leclerc’s tail.

LAP 56/57
VER — 1.018 — LEC
AWS suggests that Verstappen won’t be able to overtake until the very last lap.

FINAL LAP
Verstappen has DRS on Leclerc, but it doesn’t exactly work into T1. He’s too far back.

He has a look into T4, but still not enough.

Out of T7, in the same fashion to what Alonso did to Hamilton a few years back, Verstappen goes the long way round of Leclerc, and leads!

He gets DRS to help him as Leclerc’s tires fade away!

WINNER: CAR 33 (VER)

CAR 33 (VER)

DOTD: CAR 33 (VER)

An amazing result for Verstappen, his first win of the season.

And IS THAT RICCIARDO? He’s overtaken Hamilton on the last corner for the podium!

Not what Ferrari would have wanted today.

RESULTS
VER
LEC
RIC
HAM
NOR
ALB
PIA
RUS
ALO
PER
BOT
BEA
SAI
SAR
HÜL
TSU
LAW
POU
DOO
GAS

[woeful skiff]

2025 Saudi Arabian Grand Prix

Q1 Eliminations
16. SAI
17. ALB
18. PER
19. GAS
20. SAR

A huge shock for Alexander Albon, who makes a big snap of oversteer in his only flying lap and doesn’t improve.

Q2 Eliminations
11. LAW
12. TSU
13. DOO
14. BOT
15. POU

RB seemingly doing better this race, as Pourchaire and Doohan make Q2 appearances for the first time.

Q3
4. HAM
5. LEC
6. NOR
7. HUL
8. PIA
9. RUS
10. BEA

The fight for pole is between Verstappen, Ricciardo and Alonso.

Max holds the fastest lap, Ricciardo won’t be able to beat him. Alonso has the fastest S1 . . .

CAR 14 ( ALO)

HOLY MOLY! Fernando Alonso is on pole position!

STARTING GRID

1. ALO
2. VER
3. RIC
4. HAM
5. LEC
6. NOR
7. HUL
8. PIA
9. RUS
10. BEA
11. LAW
12. TSU
13. DOO
14. BOT
15. POU
16. SAI
17. ALB
18. PER
19. GAS
20. SAR

Lights out and away we go! Alonso surprisingly holds his lead over Verstappen, who gets passed by Danny Ricciardo!

That’s Oscar Piastri! He’s slowing down at the final sector, holding everyone up!

📻 Box, Oscar.

Piastri has pulled into the pits. He’s gotten back going again, but he’s lost so much time.

LAP 2/50
ALO
RIC
VER
LEC
HAM
NOR
HÜL
RUS
LAW
TSU
BEA
DOO
BOT
POU
SAR
SAI
ALB
PER
GAS
PIA

LAP 3/50

LIVE DRIVERS’ CHAMPIONSHIP

1. HAM - 73
2. VER - 71
3. LEC - 60

LAP 7/50
George Russell seeks a move on Nico Hülkenberg, does he do it into T1? He had to go the long way round, he’ll get another chance into T13.

Russell sends it on the inside and moves into P7!

LAP 10/50
Ricciardo has been keeping within DRS range of Alonso the whole time, but he’s been keeping himself from overtaking.

📻 : We’re still going Plan B.

RIC: Is Alonso going for Plan A?

📻 : It seems to be.

LAP 12/50
ALO
RIC
VER
LEC
HAM
NOR
HÜL
RUS
LAW
TSU
BEA
ALB
DOO
PER
BOT
PIA
POU
SAI
SAR
GAS

Danny Ric is on the hards, and he seems to be taking advantage of the long lasting tire life. Could he be extending long enough for a stint on the softs?

[placid lagoon]

Hülkenberg within drs now of Norris as they head to turn 27

Lando defends the inside

hulk around the outside, they're side by side on the exit

and the sauber flies past with drs

meanwhile norris' teammate is making moves, it's 3 WIDE INTO THE FINAL CORNER, PIASTRI DOWN THE INSIDE

Perez has to concede the position, but bottas isn't giving up

it's a drag race down to turn 1, bottas on the outside

but OSCAR LOCKS UP

THE TWO CARS GO WIDE, AND CHECO GETS PAST THE BOTH OF THEM

Pourchaire trying to get past the two on the exit but he just GETS SQUEEZED TO THE WALL BY BOTTAS

AND HES LOST HIS RIGHT ENDPLATE

Car 77 (BOT) under investigation - causing a collision

[woeful skiff]

LAP 20/50
📻 Box, Fernando.

Alonso pits, and so does Verstappen! Both of them switch to the hard tires. Ricciardo stays out to extend. Have we just figured out plans A and B?

[placid lagoon]

and ITS A SLOW STOP FOR VERSTAPPEN, 5.4

his right rear just wouldn't get off

that'll drop him behind leclerc

[woeful skiff]

Alonso now 2.5 seconds ahead of Verstappen, 7 behind Leclerc in 2nd.

Hamilton is a further 3 seconds back.

If Verstappen is able to reach Alonso and fight him, Ricciardo may be able to benefit in front.

[placid lagoon]

How are the tires?

Good

Plus 3?

Copy

[placid lagoon]

5 second time penalty - car 77 (BOT) - causing a collision

[woeful skiff]

LAP 22/50
Both Ferraris coming in. Leclerc P4, Hamilton P5.

[placid lagoon]

5 second penalty for hitting Pourchaire

Bullshit

Head down, box box and mode push

[woeful skiff]

They were separated by 13.5 seconds 💀

[placid lagoon]

carry on sorry

😭

[woeful skiff]

CAR 33 ( VER)

Ooh boy, Verstappen’s catching onto Alonso! Now 1.783 seconds behind.

[placid lagoon]

YELLOWS IN SECTOR 1, WHO'S THAT
ITS LIAM LAWSON, HES SLOW

🇳🇿 F*ck, engines gone, it's gone...sorry guys

[woeful skiff]

He’s parked it off of the road, so a VSC won’t be needed.

But a shame for Lawson nonetheless.

[placid lagoon]

The gap has dropped to just 1.4

as Alonso had to slow in sector 1

[woeful skiff]

LAP 28/50
Alex Albon has gotten past Russell for P8! Now that’s a good comeback from P17.

[placid lagoon]

**AWS

ALO - VER

1.400s

Striking Distance: In 4 Laps

Difficulty: Moderate**

[woeful skiff]

LAP 30/50

[placid lagoon]

(nice one)

[woeful skiff]

ALO — 18.274 — RIC

Alonso is in the pit window of Ricciardo, so Verstappen’s gotta block him quick if Red Bull want to take the reigns.

[placid lagoon]

(btw can i get the code to join the fgc league pls)

[woeful skiff]

After this

[placid lagoon]

(just as viewer)

kk

[placid lagoon]

shouldn't it be the other way?

since Danny extended

he's 18 ahead

[woeful skiff]

I do it as in driver behind - driver ahead

[placid lagoon]

gotcha

good to know

anyway

Verstappen within drs now coming out of the final corner!

[woeful skiff]

LAP 32/50
Verstappen’s gotten into DRS of Alonso. The Aston Martin is in trouble into T1

[placid lagoon]

he's dropped the gap to under a second

MAX IS GAINING, GAINING, BUT HE JUST DOESNT HAVE ENOUGH on this lap!

[woeful skiff]

He’s keeping in his slipstream into T13, but Alonso squeezes him to the outside! That’s gonna make them lose a lot of time, as Verstappen nearly makes it out into the next braking zone!

VER — 20.814 — RIC

As it stands, the battle is benefiting Ricciardo! Has Max done enough though?

[placid lagoon]

to turn 27 we go, alonso is gaining very quickly on max

[woeful skiff]

He’s not ahead

At least not yet

[placid lagoon]

oh you

ok

mb

[woeful skiff]

VERSTAPPEN SENDS IT INTO T27!

That’s gonna give Alonso DRS into T1!

[placid lagoon]

DOWN THE INSIDE THEYRE NECK AND NECK

max is dumping his battery..is it enough?

into turn 1..

[woeful skiff]

Alonso keeps ahead still!

[placid lagoon]

late braking, the outside turns to the inside, smart moves by the wise alonso

[woeful skiff]

LAP 34/50
VER — 22.254 — RIC

📻 : Box, Danny.

So Ricciardo will be pitting next lap!

LAP 35/50
Ricciardo pits for the softs, and is a second ahead of Alonso! Verstappen can’t afford to lose any more tire life at this stage.

[placid lagoon]

Conserve tires, target lap 31.9

No! I'm not just going to sit here like a grandma!

[woeful skiff]

So now do Red Bull ask Danny to give Max a little more opportunity by backing up Alonso?

Oh, that might already happen unintentionally as Alonso is 0.9 seconds behind Ricciardo!

LAP 36/50
Verstappen sends it into T1, and makes it stick! He’s up into P2!

[placid lagoon]

(can i get a full order pls)

(perchance)

[woeful skiff]

Ricciardo can now have room for breathing and easy away from the pair, but still keep a fair distance if he’s needed again.

[woeful skiff]

Yeah one second

[placid lagoon]

RIC
+1.462
VER
+0.731
ALO

[woeful skiff]

RIC
VER
ALO
LEC
HAM
NOR
ALB
RUS
HÜL
TSU
PIA
BEA
DOO
PER
BOT
SAI
GAS
POU
SAR
LAW

LAP 41/50
RIC: Permission to go for fastest lap?

📻 : Hold off of it. Max is higher in the championship.

Uh oh, here comes a strong factor in this. Verstappen is far enough from Alonso now to be safe, but he’s on the hards opposed to Danny’s softs.

I must say, Ricciardo has managed his tires better than anyone else today.

[placid lagoon]

further pack, here comes sainz making a move on bottas

easy pickings down into 1

Perez Doohan bearman piastri and tsunoda are scrapping ahead

5 cars, potentially 6, fighting for 2 points paying positions

[woeful skiff]

Bottas is too far back to get DRS

[placid lagoon]

tsunoda with piastri breathing down his neck, he fakes to the left, fades to the right, OSCAR AROUND THE OUTSIDE

he grabs another place to cement this comeback drive as one of his best!

that's put Yuki off, and Ollie is within shooting range

he's got drs into the next zone, gaining, GAINING

[woeful skiff]

And makes the move stick!

[placid lagoon]

and those tires are gone on the VCARB, he's struggling for grip as now DOOHAN IS ON HIM

the rookie, can he get into the points?!

[woeful skiff]

Well what could have been an amazing weekend for RB has gone to the clutters here it seems!

10. PIA
11. BEA
12. DOO
13. TSU
14. PER
    LAP 44/50

[placid lagoon]

up front, the top 3 separated by just a little over 3 seconds

Car 16 ( LEC)

as leclerc gains half a second on lap 44

hamilton in his drs, the ferrari train is moving along

[woeful skiff]

LAP 46/50
CAR 3 ( RIC)

Ricciardo has set the fastest lap! Did Max agreed to this, or was it unintentional?

[woeful skiff]

Again, they’re separated by 10 seconds

Alonso is 5 behind Verstappen

[placid lagoon]

yeah but he stole the fl

ok

[woeful skiff]

VER: What the f*ck, man? He didn’t even ask me.

[placid lagoon]

tense moments between the two bulls

[woeful skiff]

Max isn’t too happy about his lost fastest lap point.

[placid lagoon]

🟪 S1 (Car 33)

🟩 S2 (Car 33)

[woeful skiff]

📻 : You took the fastest lap from Verstappen.

RIC: Did I? I wasn’t even trying. Can he get it back?

[placid lagoon]

and max has locked up!