currently 11-3
#♟️Chess
half hedge
and no magnus update on niemann situation
dusky hull
Ye I wouldn’t hold your breath on that one
Hikaru or alireza (if he wanted to) could probably break 3300 on website chess
Which is still a feat despite using different calculations than fide
delicate peak
well surely magnus too
dusky hull
I’m less confident about magnus in his current mental being able to break 3300 blitz. He’s also not even top 10 blitz players right now, but that is also because he has not played any fide rated blitz games this month
delicate peak
I mean he's currently battling Hikaru for #1 and he's peaked at 3262 yesterday which is higher than Hikaru ever has..
dusky hull
I'd be totally happy to be proven wrong
I was also wrong about magnus not being top 10 blitz fide, I found that out today
he's presently fifth
cyan elm
I was also wrong about magnus not being top 10 blitz fide, I found that out toda...
can't believe you'd betray my trust like this
cyan elm
i will probably do it again at some point
as long as you are sorry again I am ok with that
dusky hull
what even is this
tardy finch
Cheating device 
half hedge
its the famous anal beads from Niemanns
tardy finch
Famous?
half hedge
that won him the game vs Magnus
dusky hull
Ah yes right of course
Forgot to post this before, but my coach had asked me to fill out a survey about chess for some information on how he felt he was coaching. The first question is “what is your approximate fide rating” and since I’m not fide rated I said “pick your favorite number between 1000-1800”. one day my coach is just going to give up on me I just know it.
tardy finch
If he gives up on you, put on your best Hikaru impression and literally don't care
half hedge
But make sure you tell him three times
tardy finch
Does anyone now how many people would get tagged from @ here while in a thread? Just those in the thread? Everyone in the channel that started it?
Also, @delicate peak I hereby challenge thee
half hedge
I think its just in the thread
woeful wolf
Just those in the thread IIRC
delicate peak
alright link
tardy finch
5 or 10 min
delicate peak
10
delicate peak
did what
woeful wolf
im looking to watch this
woeful wolf
ty GL sirs
half hedge
tardy finch
something something move order
woeful wolf
Huh
half hedge
woeful wolf
if Asiano pulls this off hes a legend
woeful wolf
on move 25 couldnt he of just gone rook dd1 and had a mate in a few moves
tardy finch
Yep
But right before he gave me the attack, he actually had mate in one by moving the rook back
tardy finch
Those were some close games. I like it.
delicate peak
GG's
half hedge
ZM dailies 
tardy finch
Correspondence?
grand idol
idk lol
tardy finch
I just shittalked that yesterday with Pert
grand idol
i just picked no time limit lemme chanfe
tardy finch
gg
grand idol
I can play a bit more ina sec gotta make sure I get my table
tardy finch
Apparently attacking your queen pawn was the right play
Guess today I'm the one doubting good decisions
nobody expects the queen hang
tardy finch
Do you know why I played Rxh2?
I just saw I have 20 seconds left and had to think of something wild
gg
tardy finch
To get to you
grand idol
honestly it made my@whole position fall aprt
tardy finch
I have no clue if it was a good move, just a pretty decent one when I'm clutching for time
tardy finch
Ah
Good point actually
3 min blitz and bullet players are just built different I guess
grand idol
insane danya can do this crazy shit in 1 min
delicate peak
bullet chess is so impressive
woeful wolf
Yeah, playing on a timer isn’t something I’m good at so I can’t imagine playing that fast
Not to imply I am good at chess to begin with
dusky hull
I feel that. The shorter the time format, the worse I will perform
3+3 is probably the lowest I could reasonably go and retain most of my ability
But even that’s a stretch
tardy finch
You usually play while completely sleep deprivated. Where exactly most of your ability lies is a mystery.
dusky hull
It lies in slow, but fairly thorough calculations
Usually in a complex position there are like 2-3 seemingly good ideas that might have sublines depending on my opponents choices. So I take the time to investigate those. It might take me awhile, but it gets done
The position I sent you from the Sicilian is a good example. One good move for black, 3 replies from white, and each reply had its own line and sublines I had to calculate to verify that Nxe4 was actually good to play
tardy finch
That was an interesting position to say the least
dusky hull
So many fucking things hanging
tardy finch
just hang the king and type "gg ez" in chat
tardy finch
I still don't understand the English
dusky hull
The main line which is known as the reversed Sicilian is the exact same ideas as the Sicilian but from white so you get an extra tempo
tardy finch
Honestly, I just need some kind of cheatsheet that tells me like "you aim for this and this square" or "you need to capture two pawns and maintain control over this diagonal" then I can actually understand the point of some openings
dusky hull
In the Sicilian black says “the dark squares are mine”
In the English, white says “the light squares are mine”
Even if you don’t go into the main line, just thinking about light squares is usually enough to muddle through even if you don’t know theory
tardy finch
The English I tried multiple times then I went into lichess analysis only to find out that even at top level, this is mostly a draw. Yes, white wins most of the english positions but if the players who know how to get a draw all the time choose to do it, then I guess there are too many traps later.
dusky hull
Most a draw? C4 has one of the best track records for white
But yes, many many many English games have been analyzed to death so at the top level it’s hard to make concrete breakthroughs
delicate peak
Ian played English against Hans today, and he could really use a win.
tardy finch
What I mean by that is that analysis says that the most common result is a draw. But yes, if we look at scores to be positive if they are not losing, the English is overwhelmingly good.
dusky hull
Still viable even at the top top top gm level
delicate peak
The most common result of everything in chess is a draw to be fair
dusky hull
Ye
tardy finch
That ... is correct
Yet would you feel satisfied if you played a prolonged game only to end it with a forced draw?
dusky hull
Depends on who I’m playing
delicate peak
I would love to be able to see opening statistics for custom rating ranged on lichess or chesscom
dusky hull
If I forced a draw against magnus you better believe I’m feeling satisfied
dusky hull
Yea I think you can on lichess although I’ve never tried
I will look into that for you
delicate peak
How long would it take for you to lose against a top superGM in chess960
dusky hull
I’d have a worse position by move 10
tardy finch
Lowest average rating is 1600 though so there's that limitation.
delicate peak
like I'd love to know what's the "best" opening from 1000-1200, 1200-1500, etc
tardy finch
Still, below 1600 you don't really see anyone giving a fuck about theory
dusky hull
I’d probably be losing by move 20
Fisher chess is very hard
I don’t even have much experience with it but in the experience I have, it’s quite challenging to still follow principles when your pieces aren’t in the usual spots
tardy finch
like I'd love to know what's the "best" opening from 1000-1200, 1200-1500, etc
This is sort of answering your question though I can't say those are proven best.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPPVMckcOzU
dusky hull
Wesley So is the fisher chess world champ. In the eyes of many people, that makes him a better raw chess player than many of his counterparts
I don’t really know how to weigh it vs original chess because both have merits and fisher saw it as the future
delicate peak
wesley does have the reputation of a middlegame monster
dusky hull
He’s a freak
An absolute freak
I watched him devour people in 960
He just knows where his pieces should be and gets them there very quickly.
Would anyone like to play in a few minutes
Someone calculated the survival rate of any particular piece or pawn (king excluded) across a large sample size of games. I thought this was hella interesting
Knights, bishops, and central pawns do not have great odds of living through the game.
half hedge
I dont know if i prefer Bishops or knights
dusky hull
I’ve had good games with both. Their relative powers depend on the positions on the board
In closed positions, usually knights are better; in open positions, bishops.
tardy finch
G knights looking at h pawns: "Wow, fuck that guy"
dusky hull
yea a and h pawns lookin pretty happy
tardy finch
Lunch time, who's up for some quick games?
delicate peak
Classy performance by Alireza in sinquefield damn
Taking on Ian in a rapid tiebreak is no joke
half hedge
Pog I beat someone with 4 extra minutes
tardy finch
Teabag them
dusky hull
I need to keep up with modern tournaments tbh. I’m falling behind.
rigid perch
I'm out of the loop now that I'm traveling
dusky hull
Where you traveling?
tardy finch
In my case between the PC and fridge most of the time and once a day out of a need for some exotic feels, I go to work.
dusky hull
only when you need something exotic tho
tardy finch
Well, I mean ... I wake up at 6am to the cat slapping me because she's hungry and I think to myself "You know what would make this day? Travelling to the opposite side of the city to deal with a crappy prototype of a robot that if given the ability would 100% shoot itself to save itself from this misery. Yeah, that sounds good."
tardy finch
Yeah, I work with robots
dusky hull
asiano robotics ™
dusky hull
Still cool job though
Probably the most widely known robotics company in America is Boston Dynamics. They make some insane (and frankly terrifying) things
tardy finch
Any GMs in chat?
half hedge
half hedge
LMAO
tardy finch
Stormvine out here hiding that he's actually the owner of the Chess Simp channel
Now that I think of it, I haven't played @left glade @woeful wolf and @rigid perch . Sorry for the tag but if any one of you feels like playing a game, hit me up. So far EVERYONE here is unique in their approach so I can't wait to see what you're bringing.
dusky hull
I intend to play niarcus once he stops traveling
tardy finch
I kind of want to play Woodsy in the next month tbf.
dusky hull
He’s a rat who won’t play me unless I beg
tardy finch
No offense, but Woodsy LOVES sticking to his guns. And at the end of next month we'll be doing a guild meeting so I'm going to wreck some third graders in chess and not even regret. Yet, those little rats play like one opening but know it so well that I need to be careful.
dusky hull
That’s surely a copy pasta but I have no idea where from
dusky hull
I haven’t played actual otb chess in so long. I feel like I’d psych myself out my first few games back
tardy finch
According to the world map, it's some 9000-ish kilometers from Perturbland to here. 5600-ish miles for you.
half hedge
My approach is panic and then blunder
tardy finch
Your approach is "bishops don't exist" and I can prove it
tardy finch
I am willing to take a bet without looking at your profile that you missed a critical bishop move in your last game simply because it was too far away
half hedge
Possibly...
tardy finch
See, you are already suspecting it. When you have time, go back and check. If you can see it outside of the game, you can learn to see it during the game.
Personally, I just stare at the physical board until I see what I need but then again, both me and Pert have cats. I am somewhat prone to believing cats are the true GMs and they just lend us their powers.
woeful wolf
I blundered everyone thing in my last game
half hedge
Nee
woeful wolf
Cat pic dropped anyhow
half hedge
So many cats in this chat
tardy finch
Cat is cute, worth
dusky hull
Oh hell yea secret pet pics in the chess channel
half hedge
Dont tell everyone, this is my private safe space 
half hedge
The dog looks like such a good boy
woeful wolf
She is a good girl
half hedge
FUCK
woeful wolf
Cat is good girl too
half hedge
woeful wolf
Which one plays with the squirrel though?
Dog treats it like baby
Cat only kill no play
tardy finch
Then cat destroys it like in old wrestlemania?
Ye, guessed
I actually introduced my cat to Pusheen a year or so ago
That little doll stood no chance
woeful wolf
Cat likes to play with tennis ball more than dog
tardy finch
That's another thing. When I used to have a dog, that good boy gave absolutely zero fucks about chasing anything. He just wanted belly rubs at any cost. And now my cat just sees any sort of shit get thrown and flies through three rooms to get it
half hedge
I miss my doggo
tardy finch
So do I
half hedge
When I left England my mum just got rid of her without telling me
tardy finch
But mostly because of the asshole way we departed ways
half hedge
And then I had cats in the Netherlands for five years but
Cats aren't the same vibe as a doggo
And I still cry when I think about my old doggo
tardy finch
Uhhhh ... aren't you in Denmark?
half hedge
Now I am ye
tardy finch
Ms. Worldwide
half hedge
KEK
delicate peak
I don't own a cat
woeful wolf
Both old pics but there you go
half hedge
Ommmfgggg they cuddle
My little Jack Russel and kitty used to cuddle too
It melted my heart
woeful wolf
Look at the terror in the dogs face
tardy finch
When I left England my mum just got rid of her without telling me
In response to this, I actually have an old story that somewhat still annoys me to this day sometimes. A really old guildie had a chihuahua with ... well, all the small dog problems. Also, it was 12. So one day she decides to put it down at seemingly no reason(I would later find out a common "friend" suggested that). I get to spend two weeks comforting her over the phone from the other side of Europe only to get blamed as "not understanding". Guess who was considered understanding. The fucker who suggested her kill the dog even though it was healthy. Tbh I don't care about her. I honestly loved that dog, it was crazy and you could never tell if it actually had rabies but it had character and I loved it.
woeful wolf
She knows her ass gonna be bit
tardy finch
I don't own a cat
wack
dusky hull
wack
woeful wolf
@half hedge guess how old doge is
tardy finch
Can I take a guess?
half hedge
In response to this, I actually have an old story that somewhat still annoys me ...
Yo wtf that's kinda
Wack
half hedge
Okay so more detail on my story
woeful wolf
Can I take a guess?
Yes
half hedge
I had a Jack Russel for like 8 years that was literally by my hip for 8 years, she has some issues, wasn't always quick with warming up to people so would bark often, has some bowel issues because of age by the time I left, I moved to the Netherlands and lived with two cats but would call my mum up often and ask about doggo, she mentioned that she was struggling with the toilet etc with her so I was in the process of looking into getting her over to the Netherlands with me, during this time I called up my nephew who let it out the bag that she wasn't with us anymore so I was like wtf did she die and you didn't tell me
BUT
tardy finch
5 and a half in this picture
half hedge
tardy finch
This just reeks of killing the dog so you don't have to deal with it
half hedge
My mother said she went to the park and the dog like fell in love with a little girl and basically hadn't seen the dog like that since I was there and I was like..oh okay that sucks you didn't tell me but if my dog was happy I'm okay with that, my sister for drunk and told me the real story that my mum went to the park, let her off the leash and just left
My dad confirmed that story and now I get regularly upset when the weather is bad because I just think of her in the park/wild under a tree shivering etc
But I've always said a dog's love is like nothing else and everyone deserves it
half hedge
12 in that pic
Damn she looks so young
woeful wolf
There used to be these college girls who lived next to me and smoked pot outside like 24/7
tardy finch
12 in that pic
I really wanted to guess 9 but felt dog was too cute for that
woeful wolf
They loved my dog when we walked they were always petting her
But moved out
Now when we walk my dog always wants to check there for them
half hedge
Aww
tardy finch
My mother said she went to the park and the dog like fell in love with a little ...
bruh what the actual fuck
That is way worse than what happened to my dog
half hedge
When I lived in apartments in Netherlands the neighbours dog would always come up to the front door of mine and just look through the window
Yeah, it's soul crushing
I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive my mum
tardy finch
I'm not going to nitpick at that. I have so many questions but none of them would be easy so I'm just taking a pass here saying this is beyond fucked up.
tardy finch
Well, my dad was the horrible one with pets
even though we are a farmer family from his side
woeful wolf
My dad was “I don’t want a x pet”
tardy finch
He comes close but just letting the dog go wasn't even up to his standards
woeful wolf
The he was the one feeding it and playing with it
Except the parrot we had
He didn’t like the parrot
tardy finch
Now that I think about it, teaching the dog to react to clapping and not it's actual name was probably a good idea since it made it easy for everyone to call for him
woeful wolf
We had chickens ducks cats bunnies sugar glider 4 dif birds turtles fish dogs
tardy finch
Oh, my GOD, FUCKING PARROTS. We had 3 in total and every single one died within a day of being under the care of my dad.
I can't even explain how the fuck
woeful wolf
I had a Quaker parrot a cockatiel and my parents had a rainbow Laurie and a African grey
tardy finch
Rainbow Lorries are so fucking cute
woeful wolf
This one wasn’t
half hedge
I had so many pets to myself because I just love animals and took animal care at college
At one time I had four rats, two bunnies and a hamster all in my bedroom
woeful wolf
It had lost its mind due to bad owners and pulled all of its feathers and would bite
We got it from a dif family
half hedge
Had like 5 birds but I don't know I don't think birds are for me
woeful wolf
It was mean but we tried to give it a good life
half hedge
The recent birds I had were so odd
Two kakarikis but they just didn't want to get social
tardy finch
Not all pets are social, this isn't limited to birds. As a farmer family, we've had hundreds of bunnies. Some made it to the rank of 'pets'. Didn't really mean those liked getting pet. In their nature, they are still animals. What makes it worse, they are naturally prey so it's against their nature to believe strangers.
half hedge
Yeah it's true, it was just frustrating at times but they ended up going to a bird sanctuary when I left the Netherlands
So they must be hap hap now
dusky hull
Sorry fren, still at work for another hour or so
half hedge
I am boosting some noob hunter in +15
woeful wolf
tardy finch
Come and help us get hc jailer, raid is fucking shit
Then I promise 5 games in a row
half hedge
im in a 15, I meant in general xd
tardy finch
My raid team may not have enough people for mythic next tier
So I better not tell you whether we need something or not
also we have a language requirement
dusky hull
Never lmaoo
@grand idol I’ll be home in 20 if you wanna play
I know it’s been a bit since you offered
grand idol
sorry i gtg now, will be back later tn
dusky hull
All g
tardy finch
Alright fellas, I'm half asleep, who's up for wayward queen?
rigid perch
Where you traveling?
I am, one month trip to visit gf and my cellphone broke on the first week lol
Surviving by using her laptop while she's working
half hedge
Oh shitttttt
dusky hull
That’s highly unfortunate
half hedge
holy shhittt
woeful wolf
All 3 brain cells were firing
woeful wolf
Mine don’t work so good
Brain been foggy past few years
Finding out now could be because sick
dusky hull
:(
dusky hull
Alright alright who wantsa play
dusky hull
Bet
Gimme like 2 minutes, throwing some trash out
ok are you still ready
sorry bout that
@grand idol
dusky hull
:)
dusky hull
Im all about that puzzle
i love that puzzle, it comes up a lot in like 1600ish lichess puzzles
sac the queen, get it back with the knight
ight here we gooo
that was a tricky resource
i fuck with it
if i captured your knight instead of bishop, it was probably fairly evenish
grand idol
bluh
idk why but I figured I could take ur rooks if u did that
forgot about the knight
dusky hull
yea once those light squares opened up, my bishop became a real pain for your rooks trying to get oriented
grand idol
those knights really
so annoying
gg
at least I kind of got out of the opening this time
without losing stuff
(all the time at least haha)
dusky hull
yea your position was fine
although i think getting to a point where i could trade queens only helped me
once queens were off the board and my bishops controlled the center, i think all my problems were solved
so maybe instead of e5 going into the forced variation that trades queens, you develop your knight to a better square or maybe try to get your dsb out
overall though, like you said, you made it out of the opening just fine
grand idol
you are talking about the last game yeah?
dusky hull
yea
you played e5 after i developed my knight
which idk if i'd characterize as a mistake necessarily, but my position get a lot easier
grand idol
hmm yeah I was thinking I just rD8
dusky hull
a lot of chess, believe it or not, is about denying your opponent squares more than it is about fighting for your own, especially if your opponent plays a hypermodern opening like i did where i didnt make any pawn claim in the center
grand idol
yeah but u put your knight in the way
good food for thought
thanks again for playing with me, even though Im not great 😄
dusky hull
nah dude you underestimate yourself
you're playing well. once you toss in a few positional concepts like not necessarily attacking a knight like that, your attacks will become fierce
i can see it in the way you play
youre totally okay giving up exchanges for development and central control
which is great tbh
fuck material
grand idol
hell yeah
dusky hull
Hey guys. Not sure if you guys would enjoy this kind of thing more often, but here's a super short game I just won in 15 moves and thought would be really instructive for two completely different reasons.
First, I think it's a solid example of how to handle your opponent going out of theory quickly. I know I've had conversations with one or two of you privately about the importance (or maybe lack thereof) on theory especially for new players, and this game illustrates how unimportant theory is if you can just play on principles.
Secondly, this is a pretty good attacking game. Sometimes you can orchestrate attacks if you can coordinate your pieces to attack key squares that your opponent conveniently left available for you. Always remember that pawn pushes are permanent.
cyan elm
Hey guys. Not sure if you guys would enjoy this kind of thing more often, but he...
I would love this kind of thing more often
dusky hull
grand idol
Hey guys. Not sure if you guys would enjoy this kind of thing more often, but he...
so obvously his king is in shambles, but what would your next plan be if he didnt resign? jusf curious as to what you would do
tardy finch
I think it's rather what would the opponent do. You can castle, get the rooks together, claim space with your knight, attack on the side with your bishop... So it comes down to which is weakened the most after your opponent's move.
Which would likely be Nb4 so castling and/or moving your knight to b5 are both good.
tardy finch
Pert responding 
dusky hull
so obvously his king is in shambles, but what would your next plan be if he did...
If you look at each piece, its not just his king that's busted; one knight is on the rim, one rook is still out of the game on a8, the lsb cant get out because of the king and the king cant get off of the light squares because my dsb is unopposed, and if the king tries Kc6, the knight discovery will be a forced mate.
As asiano said, if no resignation, Nb4 probably with the idea of coming back to Nc6 on the following turn to blunt the effect of the rook on the c file. This isn't really a concern for me. It's so hard for black to find a move that doesn't lose him material that I could literally castle and play Kh1/Kg1 back and forth for several moves. Basically every move with his pieces is bad, and almost every pawn push is bad. The only pawn push that is okay is pushing the a pawn, but ill just let you push to a3 and then blockade with b3. Eventually black will realize he's in complete zugzwang and either resign or give up a bunch of material every turn. All I have to do is wait, or maybe even consider f3 to break the center.
And just to clarify, I wouldn't play kg1 kh1 a bunch, but the fact is that my position is so good i can give up several turns and it still doesnt matter
black will make further mistakes because the position is just unplayable
dusky hull
Lol no never that
delicate peak
half hedge
hehe cheating buttplugs
dusky hull
tardy finch
If anyone here is still online....
I wish them good sleep.
half hedge
Just come off to watch chess in bed because we can't decide on a good film
half hedge
Because he doesn't get any, anyway
woeful wolf
dusky hull
if thems were the rules, id have no chill. winning every game, its my blanket.
tardy finch
You no take blanky 
delicate peak
Tfw ur partner is Magnus carlsen
half hedge
Guess it's time to cheat anally
half hedge
Tbf its great how popular that story got, they were even talking about it on radio shows
woeful wolf
What is chesting anally mean
On an actual serious note
People I know who don’t even know who the players are at all are discussing it
half hedge
yeah its crazy how big this went
woeful wolf
Unfort it’s more “huhuhu funny anal “ then interest in chess
half hedge
that's a shame 
cyan elm
dusky hull
So I'm still focus group testing whether or not me posting my own games is instructive or flat out braggadocious, but assuming benevolence, here's a game (black) I just played that I thought would be cool to share. It highlights some slightly-above-beginner ideas in chess. Although it's not my most impressive game ever and you'll see that I did make a mistake of my own, the precision from both myself and my opponent was pretty high. I mention this because right up until one very particular move, both black and white are doing just fine.
https://lichess.org/lUbm6ZkF/black
The first 8 moves are just theory, which he exits on move 9. One of the reasons I like this game is because it illustrates how to be resourceful while on the defensive: moves 17-25. Despite the high accuracy of game we were playing, my opponent makes a blunder on move 26. It seems innocuous; he's trying to get the knight into the game and g3 seemed fine to play as only the dsb is attacking that square. Either he missed the zwichenzug check, or--more likely for a player of this accuracy--he saw the check, but figured "no problem, my king can come to g2 to defend the knight and if black wants to go into an endgame, he can, because we have equal material."
So here's today's advice for you guys: when you're in a middle game and some pieces have traded down, envision the board with only kings and pawns. If you are winning that king and pawn endgame, continue to trade. If you're losing that endgame, keep pieces on the board. My opponent did not envision the board without pieces and thought entering an endgame of equal pawns would be a draw, when it very much is not. Resignation (by leaving) on move 40.
cyan elm
we love instructive games
tardy finch
On one hand, I'm excited to see the game. On the other though...
Pert, go to sleep.
dusky hull
u go sleep
tardy finch
I go eat
half hedge
woeful wolf
tardy finch
Hans getting the whole line at once because he's down on time in the endgame 🍆 💦
dusky hull
@grim holly
grim holly
Oh pog chess
dusky hull
@tardy finch wanna play later today
tardy finch
Sure
tardy finch
@dusky hull is 2 hours from now ok? I'll have an hour to kill.
dusky hull
I’ll be getting a hair cut or just coming home from one
tardy finch
Well, I'll be somewhat available in the next two hours. Afterwards I can't give an exact time period because of raid but I hopefully will have time for some games before bed
half hedge
God, I hope Niemann turns up naked or something to his match with Magnus
dusky hull
Well, I'll be somewhat available in the next two hours. Afterwards I can't give ...
Yea no worries
Just figured I’d put it out there because we hadn’t played in a bit
tardy finch
Are you implying you won't be bringing your best?
half hedge
tardy finch
I want to get crushed by your full power, being handled at 20% capacity is just depressing
half hedge
tardy finch
What are you looking at, Pudgy? CHESS TIME
half hedge
I'm looking at one monitor playing disney and the other monitor looking at chess
What are you looking at, Asiano?
half hedge
but there is two old legends playing
tardy finch
who that
half hedge
Gelfand vs Ivanchuk
half hedge
tardy finch
I'm keeping the challenge open in case someone decides to join 
half hedge
maybe @delicate peak will, I havent seen him play in a couple of days smh
tardy finch
You two should do another friendly match but this time announce it so the rest of us can properly bet on what is going to happen
I am being completely honest, the last time I watched you I truly enjoyed it and I'm not being critical in any way here. It was just fun.
woeful wolf
We should get Pudgy and dabbi pert to cast games
tardy finch
dabbi and lynn in full monke mode
woeful wolf
Dabbi and cozi would be bad
tardy finch
nah, that would be too much rarto, it would rub on the public
tardy finch
Well, Cozy has no one to blame but himself for that
woeful wolf
half hedge
theyre hyping the game up so much
tardy finch
Hans and Magnus playing today?
half hedge
Yeah did I mention it?
tardy finch
I don't think you are allowed to bring snacks to the board in an official tournament
woeful wolf
I mean in the crowd
half hedge
not even a bowl of skittles?
woeful wolf
Obv hot dog has cheating devices
half hedge
ofc ofc
tardy finch
Nothing crunchy or too chewy because of sound, you'll be kicked out
Nuggets are probably bis
half hedge
a mixed bowls of skittles and crunchy M&M's
tardy finch
Ma'am 
half hedge
It's not a good texture in your mouth when you take a handful
tardy finch
Now that I think of it, I haven't watched any high ranked game live. Old people in the park don't count even if they are GM level.
I should probably check if there are some local tournaments so I can figure out the food rules
half hedge
tardy finch
Would you look at that, there is a tournament ongoing now. And it's nearby! Aaaaaaannndd it's during work hours 
half hedge
youre not watching the one on twitch ?
tardy finch
Nah
3 months of testing saves 5 minutes of reading
And as we all know, 3 is smaller than 5
woeful wolf
Maybe the battery is dead in the cheating device
tardy finch
He's getting adjusted
tardy finch
That fine tuning will prove crucial because when we get to Magnus the anal beast will be unleashed
There's actually a two-day tournament near my hometown I can attend. And it's going to be like 50 euro so not even much of a bother. FIDE rated, works for national rating but I can't understand 90% of the notations in the announcement.....
@dusky hull halp
tardy finch
I'll be honest here:
If Pert wants to play live, I'm covering expenses.
woeful wolf
What is for stakes
tardy finch
It's just that I don't get what 1-250/2-200/3-150 means. Doesn't make sense for that being rating or age. Also, it's a range that gets smaller for some reason?
tardy finch
What is for stakes
steakes 😎
half hedge
Prize maybe ?
tardy finch
If Pert doesn't losedraw a game to me, I'll let him pet my cat. The cat might not agree but that's in "who asked" territory.
fixed it so I may save the cat from strangers
Anyone here watching Fabi vs Kravtsiv?
half hedge
I am now you mentioned it
guess ill swap back when niemanns vs Magnus is on
Naroditsky 
tardy finch
Can anyone explain to me how the fuck Fabi considered this to be winning?
half hedge
did he say he was winning?
tardy finch
Fabi is playing, he's not allowed to talk
tardy finch
But he committed to a really aggressive position when in reality moving your queen there you go for a complete draw
Well, he could have attacked with his rooks first or gone after some pawns. If we consider material, they were completely equal when that attack started but white had some crappy structure on f and g. Meaning, you need to do something about it and you are having the initiative on offense(white) but I just don't feel this was the way to go as now the board is pretty much glued in place.
half hedge
Maybe he missed it 
half hedge
Isolated pawns are my favourite
tardy finch
As the commentators are showing right now, this structure is fucking terrible once you get pieces off the board. The only thing holding this together is Fabi having pieces actually threaten the king
I'd probably go Rc4 in this position just to bleed black's clock
half hedge
Niemann Carlson in 25 minutes
tardy finch
That means you have time to play 
half hedge
Disney, Yes :>
tardy finch
Obviously. Result doesn't even matter, "reviews" are already prepared beforehand.
Magnus wins -> Hans OBVIOUSLY cheated
They draw -> Magnus is on the brim of insanity / Hans still cheating
Hans wins -> Hans DEFINITELY cheated
There is just nothing to achieve in that game. Honestly, both players should just give zero fucks and play to their best. Don't care about the haters but instead care about showing why they earned that GM title.
half hedge
I think Hans is gonna do whatever it take for it not to land on a draw
tardy finch
When the fuck did Fabi cuck himself so hard
half hedge
the commentator was like ''what if they both draw because they dont want the publicity and also don't want to face eachother''
tardy finch
That is always a possibility. We still don't know what Magnus meant with that tweet, do we?
half hedge
nope he hasn't said anything
tardy finch
Well, he might as well just offer a draw straight away and leave the table.
half hedge
the view count of this stream is gonna dip in 15 minutes
woeful wolf
Magnus wins -> Hans OBVIOUSLY cheated
They draw -> Magnus is on the brim of insa...
I think it should be blind who you are playing against
Can’t see opposition
Just make your move
tardy finch
On one hand, I sort of agree YET that is at my level. I just see all kinds of shit and theory is no deeper than 4 moves.
At GM level theory can be as deep as 25 moves in. Probably even more, depends on the opening. You need to prepare for that.
woeful wolf
Well
You might read into a player and their tactics
If you don’t know who you are playing is it easier or harder
tardy finch
To put it in TSL terms, it's one thing playing Pudgy who has a love-hate relationship with a single opening and a completely different story playing Pert who may love playing that d pawn but might as well surprise you with something completely new.
tardy finch
It's neither easier or harder. But it is unfair.
tardy finch
Girl, I've never seen you play anything else.
And I feel you on that. I've been there.
tardy finch
Now I have the confidence to play whatever the fuck I want just because I stopped caring.
half hedge
but it tends to always be the same two pawns
and then either a knight/bishop move or a queen move
tardy finch
Okay, you know what. Seriously. Play me. It will be instructional.
tardy finch
I will show you precisely why your opening doesn't matter if your opponent is playing random shit.
half hedge
tbf i know nothing about my opening or even the right steps for it
i just move those because it feels weird playing anything other than a pawn first
tardy finch
you don't need to know anything
You need to know principles
Are you blocking a bishop you'll likely need? That's crap.
Is your knight staying undefended on the edge of the board? That's crap.
Are you making bishop checks that get covered by a single pawn move? Crap.
Are you trying to get a mate in 4 with the queen in the opening? UTTER CRAP.
grand idol
<@106556161913802752> jonto where you at
work shit 😦
tardy finch
Once you know what moves are bad, you avoid them. You start focusing on better ones. Then you play more and learn when each of those moves feels bad so you avoid it in those positions. Then you look towards even better moves. Before you know it, you are actually playing a decent opening even if unorthodox and you still don't know theory. That doesn't matter. You will absolutely play better because you will know better.
tardy finch
work shit 😦
F
half hedge
Okay Senpai
tardy finch
youngsters and their new words 👴
half hedge
I always hate moving my pawn or whatever i move and then i see them check me and im like oh shit
here comes them cleaning up my board
F
tardy finch
I am willing to bet you recently got swept by the wayward queen attack and you are still bleeding over that
half hedge
Hmm, I dont think so
tardy finch
In that position you need to learn like 4 moves and you'll block it forever
Not only that, in time you can learn to chase the queen around actually develop your own pieces while your opponent is moving the same piece over and over again. It's why early queen attacks are mostly trash.
half hedge
Yeah I just gotta learn that
because most of the times im just like well then guess im fucked
tardy finch
Okay, you know what. Seriously. Play me. It will be instructional.
That's why I call for this.
dusky hull
There's actually a two-day tournament near my hometown I can attend. And it's go...
If it’s in a different language I probably can’t help either
dusky hull
I'll be honest here:
*If Pert wants to play live, I'm covering expenses.*
Screenshotting saving for later
tardy finch
Don't screenshot, here's my offer - 28.10-30.10 stomping kids and playing each other in the meantime
Food and drinks are covered.
half hedge
Damn thats a good offer
tardy finch
I can fly one of you, not both, have a deathmatch.
dusky hull
It’s too late I already screenshotted
Time for asiano to pay for my first-class ticket to [redacted]
delicate peak
NO WAY
tardy finch
tardy finch
rigid perch
What the fuck is happening in this Hans/Carlsen stuff
woeful wolf
dusky hull
wait did he really
dusky hull
jesus christ
cyan elm
Magnus mental boom?
dusky hull
its disappointing because prior to this he had vowed he was going to get to 2900
and now this happened and im sure both his mental and his rating alike are on the decline
fierce oyster
ty
half hedge
Yw
tardy finch
Tarlo, you play chess?
half hedge
fierce oyster
I like watching trashfires
tardy finch
Wanna watch me play against you?
fierce oyster
could have ended that sentence halfway
half hedge
half hedge
he came in because someone summoned him
dusky hull
ah ok
smoky swan
Fu
tardy finch
You typed the spectre/phantom/wraith/spirit/apparition word
cyan elm
One day we teach ghost chess
dusky hull
he left again xd
half hedge
dusky hull
oh you better start cozying up to tarlo
dusky hull
goast is gonna hit you with the clap
tardy finch
I guess I'm still not muted. Who wants to play?
dusky hull
i was playing boats but i just got triggered so im angry
yes i want to play.
@tardy finch
tardy finch
Can I take a piss first?
dusky hull
yes go obviously lmao
tardy finch
Too late, I already made my choice
half hedge
Magnus looks rough
tardy finch
Considering how good Pragg is, I don't see Magnus getting up
half hedge
Yeah and Pragg seems to win over him many times so I can't see him coming back
also he hasn't like...developed at all ?
tardy finch
That is correct. And while in some positions lacking development is not too much of an issue, here white has a huge attack on the king side which pretty much just forces one move after the other.
woeful wolf
https://www.reddit.com/r/chess/comments/xikvdq/okay_we_are_still_doing_this/ <:M...
Post removed lol
tardy finch
That is correct. And while in some positions lacking development is not too much...
Scratch that, computer disagrees. My idea draws.
half hedge
is it not a bit if magnus isn't able to defend against a player that attacks straight away
tardy finch
Not sure if that queen move was the best. Then again, I am no GM.
But the position is definitely starting to look grim. And Pragg is no stranger to fighting Magnus at equal strength.
Did Pragg just throw away his advantage? 
half hedge
what how ?
tardy finch
Ng5
half hedge
Damn, Prag losing it ?
tardy finch
Prag drawing it
Pretty sure he could have traded the f pawn in order to place his knight on d5 and have a stronger attack
I might be terribly wrong here but it just gives me the feel he would have had a powerful threat over Magnus which may not lead to mate but could potentially lead to winning material which is good enough
btw c5 pawn is still completely hanging
tardy finch
If g pawn was on 3, yes, now it just feels desperate
Problem is, how do you follow up the attack?
half hedge
Oh shit
tardy finch
Being 3 minutes up is big
half hedge
but can he checkmate in time
half hedge
yeah
half hedge
Niemann lost
tardy finch
Battery dead
Hearing how Anish refers to Hans as 'young' considering Anish is three months older than me pretty much threw me into retirement 
Did I hear right or Levon just said he's not playing Hans?
half hedge
I haven't heard/read anything about it
ouf, their viewer count dropping as soon as magnus is done :x
tardy finch
No surprise, people want drama, not chess
woeful wolf
half hedge
Magnus applauding Pragg was wholesome
half hedge
Idk i feel like part of it was wholesome like gg i enjoyed that thoroughly but then I feel like he might also be acting up to try and make hans react more?
tardy finch
Not sure. But if anyone has to actually react, it's Mr. Carlsen. Hans spoke enough. If this drama is going to go anywhere, it's up to Magnus to lead the way.
half hedge
100% but I doubt we will ever hear a clear reason from him
tardy finch
What if Magnus had been using anal beads throughout his whole career and the one time they didn't work it was because the frequency interfered with those in Hans' ass?
half hedge
no one in this chat seems to like these commentators opinions xD
dusky hull
i only just finished falling guys
dusky hull
I love yasser, I like Eric, the combination was brilliant, the reaction was priceless https://youtube.com/shorts/uIUyk8S_rHg?feature=share
cyan elm
That was great
tardy finch
ye
tardy finch
I just thought you wanted to make up for me blundering earlier
You're still up a piece, I don't really see a way out
grand idol
dude i suck
tardy finch
Says the guy who wiped the floor with me
grand idol
gg
tardy finch
gg
grand idol
i almos tgot you once haha
tardy finch
Not almost, you got me
thorn salmon
dusky hull
our army grows larger by the day
dusky hull
I don’t have time today. I’m doing a lot of stuff I should’ve been doing this whole week to prepare for travel. Going on a work conference for a few days
dusky hull
Y’all better not let this thread get archived while I’m gone ya heard
left glade
half hedge
Where ya going ?
thorn salmon
Where is checkers thread
woeful wolf
tardy finch
Check deez ... oh, wait, that's not allowed anymore
thorn salmon
tardy finch
aight, any gamers in chat?
cyan elm
aight, any gamers in chat?
Hello
cyan elm
it be like that sometimes
tardy finch
That king move was just giving me candy
dusky hull
Where ya going ?
Niagara Falls
tardy finch
You had your other rook for a potential attack in the back. Though I feel like even just waiting was good for you, I was playing trash
tardy finch
Wanna go for one more?
rigid perch
Any gamers
woeful wolf
Just open with the bongcloud attack every game woodsy
cyan elm
Just open with the bongcloud attack every game woodsy
I may have practiced a bit of the theory on that one today
tardy finch
My man, chess before hoes
rigid perch
Lol
dusky hull
Please finish it correctly
rigid perch
I've goofed so hard
dusky hull
There’s a nice finish here
dusky hull
Whoever is black, don’t you dare resign
rigid perch
Insane Philidor
dusky hull
It’s a crime against chess
rigid perch
That early mouseslip with e5 fucked me so much lol
tardy finch
Me playing the English is a crime against chess. This was just the result of you pummeling me with the Caro-Kahn in our first game, Pert.
dusky hull
I’ll go through that game later but caught the tail end
tardy finch
If it's a mouseslip, ask for a takeback. Those are allowed here.
rigid perch
Well, getting my queen trapped was prob worse and that was my fault
cyan elm
can post that ending as a mate in 3 on r/chess and probs make front page
they love that shit
tardy finch
Do it lol
rigid perch
True lol
half hedge
Niagara Falls
Can i has pictures
tardy finch
You get chess positions
fite me
Pudgy's fighting spirit is not to be disturbed 
Then, going alpahbetically....
@delicate peak wanna play?
delicate peak
im gud for now
grand idol
gimme 10 mins amd im down
tardy finch
I'll give you 11 because I'm generous
tardy finch
good enough
tardy finch
wtf happened
delicate peak
nothing we fine?
delicate peak
it just suggested smth
rigid perch
LOL
tardy finch
I have to click it back every time
delicate peak
ye I offered draw
tardy finch
Did you get cat aggro or something? If you have some kind of pet that can bother you during a game, we can switch to lichess so I can give you the time back.
tardy finch
nope
tardy finch
trash site
k, I guess you are on the lichess bandwagon too now
Wanna play one there?
delicate peak
im good its been 10 minutes
delicate peak
ty
tardy finch
@grand idol I'll have to take a forced break so game is off
tardy finch
Talking to people in Perturbland feels so weird ... Sun about to start setting here and you people have lunch
dusky hull
Hello I am now the passenger in the vehicle
woeful wolf
woeful wolf
I have done 30,000 plus steps daily since Monday
Equipment recall and I’m having to lead the legwork
rigid perch
I'm playing STV
tardy finch
Stranglethorn Valley? 
rigid perch
Yep
dusky hull
Can i has pictures
Maybe. Idk if I’ll go see the falls. We will see how I feel tomorrow
Tonight is for the casino 🎲
dusky hull
https://lichess.org/bkSfCRIK
This was a cool game. The queen trap was nice. Whoever was black here, I appreciate the early e5 gambit but it doesn’t do a whole lot for you yet. e6 is playable, but I’d be looking at Bg4, h6, or a5.
dusky hull
Went to the roulette table with $100, left with $262. Good first night
tardy finch
Pert showing those fools how it's done
rigid perch
This was a cool game. The queen trap was nice. Whoever was black here, I appreci...
It was me, I didn't mean to play e5, mouse literally slipped lol
Carlsen statement about Niemann 
half hedge
the interview?
woeful wolf
Got a link?
half hedge
this is the one from after the game
he doesnt say much about the cheating allegations but he says niemann played well
tardy finch
Pretty sure I heard him drop Maxim Dlugy's name in there ... that is straight up confirming that he considers Hans to be cheating.
rigid perch
It's seems that's a pretty common conclusion
half hedge
Pretty sure I heard him drop Maxim Dlugy's name in there ... that is straight up...
Yeah he did
woeful wolf
I personally look at a person differently if they cheated in the past
They may not currently be a cheater but they crossed that line once
Not a far stretch to assume they would again
And with cheaters it’s usually a trickle truth
“Oh I just cheated that time”
The you find out slowly about the other times