zinc mirage
Hey Pepperlog, I do not know how open you are to some feedback on writing, but, writing is my actual area of expertise (I hold a degree in it)! I really love the way you have chosen to do the speech for the characters. However, I have noticed many a moment where the word choice or sentence structure could potentially be improved. I would like to ask if you mind some feedback on those moments before I start running through them. It is mostly nit-picky stuff, like when I see strange used twice in a sentence. Things that are not necessarily wrong but could be improved to sound more natural. If you do want me to go through them, let me know if you want suggestions on edits or if you just want the moments I think could be improved. 
(One such moment is provided in this screenshot.)
slender cipher