I mean, there isnt really anything to say because we cant psychically see what you need to improve on. Like sure I can say CS better or die less but its irrelevant.
Some games there could be a reason why you have low CS and reasons why you could die so often. And generally if you want someone to coach you, you need have a dedicated person that is willing to do a live vod review or a live in game review to insure what you are doing is correct at the exact moment.
If you dont want to find that dedicated person to coach you, you as a player need to analyze what you could have done better. For example, lets take your twitch game that you went 16-5 on. Lets assume its a baron fight and you have an opportunity to kill their bot lane as you know you are stronger than them. You kill them, but die in the process to either Neeko, Briar, or Garen. The worst possible scenario is Neeko killing you and her getting a bounty. On top of that, your teammates somehow lose the 4v3 because of Neeko R or something. That can be one scenario that can happen and you want to minimize that as much as possible. Give yourself opportunities that are safe.