Warning:Mentions of sh and mh(Srry its kinda long✋😭)

[vocal jungle]

Haii Im kinda pround but I've been clean for 4 months :3 feels so weird not wearing long sleeves&wearing gloves in summer I can actually be free and wear short sleeves And yes theres a few scars so ppl do look at me weird At least they know I survived this battle for yrs I've always sh since primary. Ive always hurt myself in some way I bit,punched,slapped and hit my head of walls-_- mostly bc all through primary i was bullied. For my weight and appearance. Then came secondary. Bulling still happened. But stopped at yr 8-9ish ppl say things now and then :3,I didn't have a good childhood. As my parents broke up when i was only a few months old,so ever since then I've had 2 houses. I never felt like home in either of them. My mom was abusive. She would Shout at me at the top of her lungs,throw me,hit me, and call me names. And she favouriteties my younger brothers comparing me with them. I have 4 siblings. 1 step and 3 half and im the oldest Im not saying being the oldest,middle or youngest is the hardest. Ppl have different opinions and perspectives. But I was born on the 25/03/11 I've js turned 15 last month At the age of 9-14 everything birthday i wished to be either dead I wasn't religious or anything but every night I would beg and pray to God to "end this suffering",I developed an eating disorder so i lost alot of weight,I changed myself js feel pretty. My hair was rlly long, But mother said I wasn't taking care of my hair. Bc it was simply way to long. So it got cut to my shoulders. It grew longer and i asked to get it styled. I got a butterflycut it was nice at first and it started to grow again so I got it cut shorter and styled to a wolfcut It was my favourite hair cut it rlly nice and i loved it. i started feeling confident in myself. Until i was being bullied for being "emo" or beinf "trans" and shouted insults at me but i didn't care bc i was finally feeling happy in myself Anw im gonna shut up bc its getting to long loll ty for listening to my life<3

[dire yoke]

Hihi

Im sry u have to go through that shit :<

[dusky gulch]

The fact that you still stand despite it all is proof of strength. The fact you have resisted that urge for 4 months is proof of strength. People all too often cite strength as something to be proud of, yet will dismiss the pain and discomfort that it takes to be strong. We often learn to hide that pain while simultaniously wishing we never had to be strong to begin with...i admire the fact that you are able to feel proud of yourself and acknowledge your own strength and softness. It is a terrible thing to be forced to be strong, but the fact that you can look in the mirror and still smile is the rainbow in the storm.

I hope things get better for you. If you are at serious risk of harm from your parents, i urge you to PLEASE, call your country's child protective services or law enforcement, you don't deserve to be treated as anything less than a child.

[vocal jungle]

Thank youuu💜💜💜💜

[vocal jungle]

It's okayy im fine now, I still live with my mom but im more with her then my dad as he works over week and I go to his on the weekend so I only stay at his Friday and Saturday night and either go home on Sunday or Monday

[hollow imp]

So proud of you for still being here!!