Help me persuade myself please

[flat copper]

Okay so I am a trangender (ftm) and I hadn't had any operation bc i dont feel the need rn. So I've came up with some kind of body dysphoria. When I look at myself in the mirror all I see is a weak person. Then I weight myself and I think about how heavy I am. So I stopped eating at noon. And it works, I lost some weight in 2months.
But here's the problem. I wanna get stronger but it means also gaining weight.
I need help to convince myself to start eating correctly again so I can also start to get stronger. (Btw I weight 48kg and im trying to get to 40kg lol) (may be useful idk)

But please please help me gain confidence into eating normal again and convince me that its okay to gain some weight while getting stronger 🙏

[zinc dune]

Not eating enough can lead to a worse mental state, trust me, I would know. Also, if you work out enough, it will actually make you look slightly more masculine. Also, this is something that kinda helps me sometimes, and that's that having weight is actually seen as a more masculine trait, and if you have baggy clothes, it can hide curves fairly well. Also, when you stop eating, usually the body will weaken the muscles before actually going after the fat because the body needs fat, so if you want to be stronger, you're gonna need to eat.

Hope this helped

[silk gate]

Hey, besides the eating more thing, i want to say that 40kg is really low, and so is 48. As a person at 45 who's trying to get to 48, I really want to tell you just how much it's not worth starving yourself for.
To be strong you have to weigh a good amount, and loosing weight will make you weaker.

I hope you can convince yourself to eat better/more and start working out, I'd recommend meals with a lot of protein and fiber to help you stay full for longer if you really want to skip a meal though. And good luck, from one person on a weight journey to another.

[flat copper]

Oh, I've actually never thought abt the masculine things and mental state. This is really helpful thank you

[flat copper]

Idk i feel like 48 is a lot haha
Oh right I've never thought of it like that
Ohh thats actually a good advice I could use thank you so much!

[silk gate]

Yeah, 48 does feel like a lot, especially if you feel like it's more fat than muscle, but trust me if you're anywhere over 15-16 years old 48 is way less.
40 is the weight they recommended for 11-12 year olds

[flat copper]

Oh. I- dont know how to react to that, but oh wow yes actually I- im underweight I guess? (Idk if I wrote this correctly sorry)
But yea wow I didn't expect the normal weight for 11-12yrs old to be the weight I want to be. I dont know how to react anymore I feel so embarrassed I mean I feel like i should say smth else or idk >~<
As much as this procured me confusion and shockness (did i wrote that right??) this also procured me some kind of relief I guess??? I dont really know how to explain that im so sorry but thank you so much again

[silk gate]

It's okay, you don't have to say much. I just wanted to let you know that though you want to weigh less going any lower than where you currently are would probably be really unhealthy.
I hope the realization helped, or at least led you to rethink what you want and realize it's okay to be at the weight you're currently at.

[flat copper]

🥹 ❤️