TW: I have been sober for 112 days but tonights a hard night for me and i don't know why. Why does no one care. Life sucks some times. It sucks more with memories of self harm. Life sucks when your everyones support. Life sucks when your the therapy friend. Life sucks when people say they are there but you dont know if its the truth.
Life sucks when anyone who becomes close to you leaves. Life sucks when you randomly become numb. Life sucks when you have access to things you shouldnt. Life sucks when no onee knows. Life sucks when you think. Life just sucks and theres nothing to do. Its boring. Repetitive.
Again. Wake up. Eat. Fall asleep. Music. Work.
Stay up. Sleep. Over and over. Before school starts. And then its Wake up. Eat. School. Music.
Work. Sleep. Again and again. Whats the point.
Whats the fucking point sometimes. Sometimes i cry because i dont wanna die and sometimes i cry because i do wanna die. Why doesnt anyone win. Whats the point of spending all this time on earth if we are gonna forget it. If you think about it we are so small in this universe. One tiny piece.
Sometimes you just dont know. So much out there. Whats there to live for. Death. Basically.
Idk. See ya.
#Depression spiral
woven ivy
delicate flicker
I don't know you but I have been where you are. Try to focus on the here and now. One second at a time. You mentioned music. Do you play? What's your favourite band/song? Don't let them break you. You have friends that care about you, even if it does not seem like that right now.
woven ivy
I do play some instruments
delicate flicker
I do play some instruments
Try to listen to your favourite band or play/write some music about how you feel. I heard this story a while ago about a guy on a beach where a bunch of starfish had washed up on the shore, and he was just picking up starfish and chucking them back into the surf, Someone comes along and asks him why he is doing that, pointing out that there were so many and that he can't save them all. The guy looks down, picks up a starfish, and says, "I may not be able to save them all but this one I can save." He then throws the starfish back into the ocean. We may be small, but ALL of us touch someone who may need help. Even if you just smiled at someone and said, "Have a nice day!" You may have just saved someone from doing something that they can't take back.
delicate flicker
Also I would try to not be on social media, all of it is a cess pit
woven ivy
Thank you
dull oasis
Try to listen to your favourite band or play/write some music about how you feel...
Yeah also there’s a song about the artist being a McManager when they were 18 years old