So, I've already talked here about my friendship and psychological problems, but I wanted to vent a little about what I think of myself. I've always been very lonely, I never had friends and I only started having groups of friends now, and I feel like a real problem, I'm serious, I'm boring, I'm not funny and I'm EXTREMELY sensitive, I don't know, I feel like I'm always bothered, any change bothers me, I always feel like I need to control what others do, etc. Like, any change in the other person's behavior, any rudeness or stupidity they say to me, I notice it and always question why, which ends up generating arguments, And then I ask myself: "Wow, I'm bothering and being annoying again, I ruined the person's day." I think that nobody cares about me or my opinions and requests, and I always argue even WITH MY BEST FRIEND, Because he's very insensitive and immature, totally the opposite of me, so sometimes he's just a jerk and offends me and I'm like: "Damn, I was mean to him, I deserve it, it's my fault."
Ultimately, I believe I wasn't made to have friends; I'm too problematic, and in the end, I really do have issues. I'm too unstable and annoying for that kind of thing. It's better to be alone than to mess up other people's lives and end up creating fights because I'm excluded, etc., when I deserve it.
#Is there something wrong with me?
arctic thorn
spark cove
I know you're venting, and may or may not appreciate feedback, but here goes. I haven't read your other posts, so take anything I say with a grain of salt. I have a couple takeaways from this post.
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The people you surround yourself with sound very immature. OR, they have personalities so laid back, they can joke and carry on without offending one another. If they're immature, it's on you whether you want to continue to socialize with them. If they're just lax in their demeanor, then more could be at play with your personality. Which leads me to...
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You mention control. You want to control and steer your relationships and environment to fit your expectations. The thing is, the only thing in your control is you; how you react to outside stimuli. Worry about what you can control and let everything else fall by the wayside. If people are acting immature or offensive, you have the power to call them out on it or distance yourself from them. You'll never change people, only yourself.
Humans being are social creatures. Nobody deserves to be alone. You're not messing up people's lives by being yourself. Be open minded, recognize and accept what the issues may be, and work towards a resolution; be that socializing with more mature people or working on yourself. You'll find people who are compatible with you, but it takes time, effort, and putting yourself out there to find them. Don't give up hope and best of luck!
arctic thorn
I know you're venting, and may or may not appreciate feedback, but here goes. I ...
Thank you very much, you're right, it's really difficult to understand this, but I'll try my best to understand and accept it.
spark cove
Thank you very much, you're right, it's really difficult to understand this, but...
I can only speak from my experience. If anything I said resonates with you, then I am happy to be of help, however small. My goal is to be uplifting, encouraging, and to offer different perspectives. You've got this!