So for the most time I've been thinking that I am bisexual non-binary (recently maybe bisexual bigender), but I guess the questioning game continues. Kill me (I'm joking).
So I've been browsing this discord, nothing special. But then I found a post (#1446270709167951882 message) about someone questioning whether they were lesbian or not, but I saw some emotions that I have never felt. Sure, I thought I had crushes on some guys and girls (no, I didn't forget about non-binary people, I just don't know any enbys other than me), but never felt those emotions. I was suspecting from my past that I was somewhere in the aromantic space, but is this a sign of aromanticism or could this be grayromanticism?
#Am I aromantic?
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Sometimes I get really confused about what I feel toward women. Ever since I was young, I’ve had different feelings for some of them, but I don’t know what it means. I once had strange feelings for my teacher — I thought she was pretty and interesting, and whenever she talked to me I froze, got nervous, blushed, and couldn’t even look at her properly. I also had a friend in elementary school who I thought was really beautiful. When I arrived at school and she was the only one there, I got nervous and couldn’t talk to her the way I talked to my other friends. One day my hair fell in front of my face and she moved it behind my ear with her hand… and I froze. I blushed and it felt like the world stopped.
In high school, there was a girl who, from the very first time I saw her, made me feel different. I couldn’t explain it. In a room full of people, I could still sense her presence. I couldn’t stop looking at her, I wanted her to notice me, I wanted to impress her. I remember details about her even today — the way she talked, laughed, the clothes she wore. Sometimes I started talking louder, making jokes, showing off, as if my body wanted her attention without me thinking about it. When I thought she might be looking at me or judging my appearance, I got really nervous.
Last year, I saw a beautiful woman at a restaurant. I got nervous, fixed my hair, straightened my posture. I looked at her and she looked back, and I looked away. But I still remember her today: her voice, her clothes, her vibe. At the time I was depressed, but after seeing her I felt energy, a will to live, to go out, and even to have a relationship.
With famous women — actresses, singers — I have intense fantasies. I feel a kind of love, such a strong feeling that sometimes it scares me. I once imagined a famous woman “in my life,” with my friends and everything. And when I stopped imagining it, I felt grief over something that wasn’t even real.
yeah, you might be a part of the aromanticism spectrum, i recommend taking a deep dive into it and see whether anything there resonates with you. if it does, congrats! if it doesn’t, that’s alright too. best of luck!
yeah, i've been seeing signs of maybe gray, but not sure