#Am I aromantic?

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trim helm
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So for the most time I've been thinking that I am bisexual non-binary (recently maybe bisexual bigender), but I guess the questioning game continues. Kill me (I'm joking).
So I've been browsing this discord, nothing special. But then I found a post (#1446270709167951882 message) about someone questioning whether they were lesbian or not, but I saw some emotions that I have never felt. Sure, I thought I had crushes on some guys and girls (no, I didn't forget about non-binary people, I just don't know any enbys other than me), but never felt those emotions. I was suspecting from my past that I was somewhere in the aromantic space, but is this a sign of aromanticism or could this be grayromanticism?

woven scarabBOT
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Sometimes I get really confused about what I feel toward women. Ever since I was young, I’ve had different feelings for some of them, but I don’t know what it means. I once had strange feelings for my teacher — I thought she was pretty and interesting, and whenever she talked to me I froze, got nervous, blushed, and couldn’t even look at her properly. I also had a friend in elementary school who I thought was really beautiful. When I arrived at school and she was the only one there, I got nervous and couldn’t talk to her the way I talked to my other friends. One day my hair fell in front of my face and she moved it behind my ear with her hand… and I froze. I blushed and it felt like the world stopped.

In high school, there was a girl who, from the very first time I saw her, made me feel different. I couldn’t explain it. In a room full of people, I could still sense her presence. I couldn’t stop looking at her, I wanted her to notice me, I wanted to impress her. I remember details about her even today — the way she talked, laughed, the clothes she wore. Sometimes I started talking louder, making jokes, showing off, as if my body wanted her attention without me thinking about it. When I thought she might be looking at me or judging my appearance, I got really nervous.

Last year, I saw a beautiful woman at a restaurant. I got nervous, fixed my hair, straightened my posture. I looked at her and she looked back, and I looked away. But I still remember her today: her voice, her clothes, her vibe. At the time I was depressed, but after seeing her I felt energy, a will to live, to go out, and even to have a relationship.

With famous women — actresses, singers — I have intense fantasies. I feel a kind of love, such a strong feeling that sometimes it scares me. I once imagined a famous woman “in my life,” with my friends and everything. And when I stopped imagining it, I felt grief over something that wasn’t even real.

desert plinth
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yeah, you might be a part of the aromanticism spectrum, i recommend taking a deep dive into it and see whether anything there resonates with you. if it does, congrats! if it doesn’t, that’s alright too. best of luck!

trim helm