feel like im a bad omen to ppl

[gritty galleon]

in the past six months, ive had to go to 10 funerals (all of which for people i was close with) and another tomorrow, and sometimes i have these thoughts of killing myself to be with my loved ones, but idk at this point if i really care anymore because maybe if i die the bad omen will go away or some shit idk
know this is kinda a shitty thing to vent about basically being a bit more sad than normal over fucking funerals but would be nice to know if others share this feeling too and what to do about said feeling

[wind wadi]

i’m so incredibly sorry to hear, i can’t imagine having to go to so many funerals of people you were close with in such a short timespan, that’s absolutely terrible 🫂

it’s very unfortunate that all this has happened but i would say that it doesn’t mean you’re a bad omen. i highly doubt any of these deaths happened because of you, let alone by an “omen”

i’m not great at dealing with suicidal thoughts but one thing i know for sure is that it’s not worth it

it’s not great that so many close people of yours have passed but it wouldn’t make it any better if you did as well

[languid ocean]

i...

i know what it feels like

I lost one of my best friends

and my grandma

and i don't know how to stop the same feeling you have.

[gritty galleon]

yeah thanks

[gritty galleon]

i feel as though you have it worse
ive lost friends but not my grandmother who was the only person who knew how i actually felt after all of those funerals

most just thought "oh he'll be fine hes just sad"

[wind wadi]

i know how that feels, it’s unfortunate that people thought that and never thought to really check up on you, i’m glad you had your grandma to talk to though