#I *might* be aromantic, and I hate it.

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idle zenith
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my name is Charlotte Sergay(18f). I don't know how I can be helped but I feel like I need to make this rant.
I, throughout the years, have realized that I might be aromantic, not by choice, kind of. let me explain, as far back as I can remember I never had a "crush", fictional or otherwise, I never gave too much thought to it, just didn't feel the need to. but as the years started coming (and they don't stop coming), I started to reflect about all that romantic stuff, and I came to the conclusion that I really want to love and be loved by someone, romantically so, but once getting to the big 18 I've decided to give romance a proper go. it didn't work, I just couldn't look at someone with the thought of "Oh, I wanna date them", and every attempt at flirting felt forced and painfully awkward.
in normal circumstances I'd just accept it and just keep living my life, but I just can't let the thought leave my head. I want to feel wanted, yet I physically can't want some in the same way.

wide radish
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That sounds like cupio(?) or another label I don't remember. But it is under the aro umbrella!
But that's not what you asked

I do kinda have similar problem. Being aroace myself. Yet female. So during ovulation weeks i get the intense sexual need to have someone, despite being absolutely terrified of intercourse with a male being. It's what i crave. I also do crave a partner or even more than one! But nobody seems to be alright with dating aroace being.
The most you can do is keep seeking, preferably aromatic person. So you two can be aro couple. There's other type of crushes after all! Squishes etc!

idle zenith
wide radish