I am thinking about... life and how I do not see anything in it anymore, I know my autistic ass brain isn't helping and since I am VERY romantic it's all coming together to equal a little voice in my head that just say "I am tired, I feel empty and null. I have worked upon myself but I am ready for something new... something MORE." and it is hard to ignore when the rest of me feels that way too, but I do not think I will get more or anything new. 17 years on this earth and I feel like I have wasted and built too many bad habits and let my mental health catch up to me. I do not see the beauty in living anymore, my ex who dated me for 1 year left in May and I feel so pointless, all my other attempts at love have failed and everyone around me has bigger things to worry about than me, I am insignificant in my own life. I feel broken and incomplete. I do not want to turn 18 because I can barely handle all my responsibilities now. How can I handle more? I feel like I am at the end of my rope. I do not have a plan to ||kill myself|| but I feel close to want to just rot away and be forgotten. Even if it's the big black void that greets me in the end. It may be better than now.
#I am thinking TW:
timber dune
full parcel
I am thinking about... life and how I do not see anything in it anymore, I know ...
I'm in a similar spot rn TBH
you might need to ask for some help from someone you trust
timber dune
right now you might have autistic burnout
I didn't even know that existed but thats honestly fair. I guess I'll bring it up when I go to therapy.