elfin wyvern
I don't know how to deal with it.
THE ACCIDENT
I have been threatened at only 16 years old, while weighing basically 100 pounds by a guy almost triple my weight ... He didn't attack but said he would If I didn't go change and cover up my body more... since this day I felt the need to always cover , with the thought that I would just tank the summer heat anyways... with slim and maybe colored clothes...but still long ones
EVOLUTION OF LIFESTYLE
Now that I am goth though, the matters have changed. feeling ashamed to have that fear. Some of the initial reasons went away of the phobia, the phobia still exists in me and I feel that like if I am not surrounded by my goth friends then exposing myself isn't a safe thing to do. It gets really bad with the heat because I don't want to give up my style so I don't wear much colors. My goth style matters to me so if your suggestion is that I give up the answer will be a direct NO. The reason I feel ashamed is because goth is a bit supposed to be about freedom and choice, I feel like, and with this phobia, I don't have that choice. I always see those cool goths showing themselves , some have leather jackets still but with other exposed parts, and some just take the heat, but there is a limit to take the heat. It's a viable strat until you can't tank it anymore because it's 102...
ANOTHER REASON WHY I AM ASHAMED
I feel like I have nothing to show. I'm 110 lbs seven years after that accident, and that means I didn't gain weight that much. I have next to no muscles and other guys I see to me are much more musuclar than me. I know not all are like that. Also, the goths I see tend to have cool tattoos on the parts they show. Who knows, maybe that would help beat me my fear? Since I feel right now like showing my skin is showing how vulnerable I am due to it being slim and empty? Which is the reason I am afraid of said attacks because I look easy to attack...
barren glade