Tw: Sh

[humble mountain]

So it's been 15 days

i’ve been clean for 15 days and yeah, that might be really good but I am hurting mentally so bad and I really wanna hurt myself like it’s kind of insane how bad I really want to and it’s getting harder by the moment to control the urge to inflict pain on myself and I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t think I can do anything nor can I even feel anything anymore? Am I failing at everything still cause it feels like no matter what I do I’m just gonna fail. I guess I really am a failure. Aren’t I? I really want self harm

[median cosmos]

i did sh once and it left a big ass scar on my upper forearm, im doing way better now but everytime i look at my arm im reminded of the worst day of my life, stay away from knifeplay homie you only been clean for 15 days, this gon be a several year long recovery but it aint like stoopin back down will do ya any good

[midnight ridge]

Self harm, to my understanding at least and in my (limited) experience, is an addiction like any other. 15 days is an accomplishment - how many people in your life cut tobacco for 15 days?

and, like all addictions (and, to an extent, all behaviors), there will be relapses.
That doesn't mean you deserve to beat yourself up over it or that you're a failure. The only thing that matters is that you're trying to do better and trying to stop yourself from SHing.