#How do i come out to my parents as bi?

13 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

static kindle
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They support the LGBTQ community but i feel like they will just tell me I'm too young to decide. I've come out to my friends and aunt, but my brother is homophobic as well. How do i tell them?

thorny dirge
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Just do it and if they say youre too young to decide just say "it's not my fault that Im bi"

viral quiver
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First off, I just want to say you’re incredibly brave for even thinking about this. Coming out isn’t easy, even when your parents seem supportive of the LGBTQ+ community. It’s one thing for people to say they’re allies, and another thing entirely when it’s their own child coming out. That fear of being invalidated or told “you’re too young” is so real—and it can really hurt, especially when you know who you are.

Since you’ve already come out to your friends and your aunt, you’ve already taken huge steps. You know how to trust your voice. If you do choose to come out to your parents, it might help to explain that this isn’t something new or sudden—it’s something you’ve felt and thought about deeply. You can let them know this is about being honest with them, not rushing into anything.

Maybe say something like, “I know you might think I’m too young, but I’ve been sitting with this for a long time. This is part of who I am, and I just want to be real with you.” It puts the focus on your truth without needing their immediate approval.

As for your brother—his homophobia says everything about him, not you. His opinion doesn’t get to define your identity, even if it feels like it stings more because he’s family. You might need to create boundaries there for your own peace.

No matter what, just know that you deserve to be fully seen, respected, and loved. You’re not alone in this, and you’re doing something incredibly powerful just by being true to yourself.

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my dms are always open if you need 1v1 talks.

thorny dirge
red panther
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I am in a similar place! My parents say the same thing, it’s hard to grapple with, but you have to know that what you feel is just that, what you feel. It’s an important realization, and it’s hard to not tell certain people, but if you don’t feel comfortable telling people, you really don’t have to. You will come out eventually, when you feel more comfortable telling them.

viral quiver
# thorny dirge I have homophobic parents and almost came out twice

I’m really sorry you’re carrying this—it takes so much strength to even think about coming out when your parents are homophobic. That fear isn’t just in your head; it’s a survival instinct. When the people who are supposed to love and protect you unconditionally hold beliefs that deny a part of who you are, it creates this constant pressure to choose between your truth and your safety.

Even if they support LGBTQ people in theory, it can be different when it’s their own child—and if they’ve shown homophobic attitudes, that risk feels even heavier. You’re not wrong for being scared. That fear is valid.

The most important thing here is your safety—emotionally, mentally, and physically. If there’s a chance they’d react badly or make your life harder, it’s okay to wait. You’re not being dishonest—you’re protecting yourself, and that’s brave too. Coming out isn’t a race. It’s something you do when you feel ready and when it’s safe to do so.

And honestly, even if your brother or parents never understand, it doesn’t make your identity any less real. You still deserve love, joy, and freedom. You still deserve to breathe without hiding.

Lean on the people who do get it—your friends, your aunt, chosen family. Build from there. You are not alone, and there’s nothing wrong with you.

red panther
viral quiver
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Computer, and I work as 988

red panther
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Oh neat

viral quiver
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Thank you.

red panther
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Thank you! There are so many people that need a little help and it’s really awesome you’re doing this!

viral quiver
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Awh. Thank you so much. 🖤