Well... I was going for Val mode (which is a massive pita with all the bugs; vehicles that big, I spend at least as much time fighting the UI and camera as building craft, and a mission with this many stages generally needs to be run at least a dozen times before it all goes off without any kraken attacks or other weird bugs).
In any case, I carefully designed a craft capable of doing the mission... or so I thought!
I landed a fully fueled return vehicle with 8700 m/s of dV for launch to Eve orbit and another 2200 for Kerbin return trajectory, almost 1 km/s above what was strictly required, so plenty of performance.
Sadly, once the Vectors I used to get through the thickest of the atmosphere and start to build momentum, were gone, along with their amazing thrust vectoring, all I had left were five Darts (aerospikes).
They're super efficient sustainers on Eve... but with no thrust vectoring, the craft turned out to be aerodynamically unstable, immediately flipping over and failing to reach space.
After fighting the game to do this mission for over a week now, with dozens of attempts and nine separate designs before I finally came upon one that didn't immediately disintegrate due to floopy joints and faulty glue, I'm just gonna accept Stretch mode and/or Jeb mode and call it a day.
P.S. 30 minute slow-mode, with mysterious rules about screenshots that just don't post anything if you have too many, along with the possibility of accidentally forgetting to Shift+enter? Suuuper annoying, just sayin'...