remote summit
Pretty good start for a new musician. Did you do program the drums yourself?
#Vocals not final but wanted feedback on instruments i could add to express a somber tone
gloomy sandal
I wasnt too sure what kind of beat i wanted so i was looking at templates and found that one i fell in love with!
gloomy sandal
Added more stuff to give it a feel i was happy with~ love how grainy and staticy my voice sounds😁 Liking this version alot better! Not done yet tho
digital aurora
I heard the microphone,at :30 and at the beginning sounds different, same at :37, i think it might need some reverb, I think youre trying to go for an analog feeling, i really like that for this type of song. i like how the background vocals differ from the grain textures in the lead. it reminds me of video killed the radio star. I think the lead vocals could use a mix of reverb, echo (for the part where youre repeating yourself) saturation. EQ i think it might need a dip on the high ends but I would just test that around myself. Then did you do any surgical EQing on it? I think I might be hearing some resonant fequencies I don't like. but I'm prolly just stupid.
OK this is what im really passionate about: lyrical analysis
"the day we fought myself was scared
stuck inside that room breathing nowhere
the scream and shout knocking at my door
i answer back what are you yelling for
i be so much better than you
im never letting my anger out like you do
i opened the door what a big mistake
the phones in my head and i started to shake
i can feel the tensions boiling off of you
all i could do is zone out of the room
your touching my hand you got what you need
you shoved me to the wall did you think about me
kicking in screaming acting like you got hurt
but now ive seen all of your words
ill do so much better than you
ill never letting my anger hurt like you do
ill will raise myself from the roots
ill never take anyone for granted like you do
lyrics describe an abusive relationship, song about an abusive partnership or an abusive parent.
I like the 2nd line describing how the singer felt, however I don't like the first line stating the time and place and how you feel, youre literally telling me where and when i am and its just an exposition dump. if you removed that line, i would figure out those feelings from the rest of the song and that there was a fight going on.
the scream and shout knocking at my door, what are you yelling for, this line communicates physical events, but it also showcases how the singer is instigating this fight. In my experiences, no one yells what are you yelilng for to someone who they want to calm down. it puts the singer in a harsher light, (this is super nitpicky) I think this could be done really well, however, i feel like it is also just to telly, and not showy
okay so i just reread the title of this wip feedback thread and I realize you are not asking for any feedback but specific feedback so i apologize for that
gloomy sandal
I heard the microphone,at :30 and at the beginning sounds different, same at :37...
I left discord for a while and came back to see your message💜This was the feedback i was looking for thank u so much!! The laptop i used for making music broke so i havent made much other than lyric ideas and a few recorded vocals but nothing on ableton. Hoping to get a new one next week and get back to it!!
You honestly got most of the lyrics spot on! The analog vocals were something i was testing out but really fell in love with<3. I'll send over the lyrics i made for this song here in a bit! Thank u again for the feedback ahh
gloomy sandal
The day we fought i felt so scared
Stuck inside that room breathing with no air
Youd scream and shout pounding at my door
I'd answer right back "what are you yelling for"
×I will be so much better than you
×I'll never let my anger out unlike you do
I opened up the door what a big mistake
Your phones in my hand and then i started to shake
I could feel the tension boiling up in you
All i could do was just zone out the room
Your clutching my hand cause its got what you need
When you shoved me to the wall did you think about me
Youre kicking and screaming acting like you got hurt
When i was the one who had seen all of your words
I'll do so much better than you
I'll never let my anger hurt unlike you do
I will raise myself from the roots
I'll never take anyone for granted unlike you
Unlike you. Im not like you
°This song is about the day i stole my mothers phone when she wasnt looking and read her messages to other guys. My parents were always on and off and she had said she was not talking with other guys while with my dad but that turned out to be lies. She knocked raised her voice at my room door for what felt like an eternity and when i opened the door she lunged at me for the phone that was in my hands. She pushed me against the wall and knocked over all my things while screaming and kicking. I never touched her or fought back- all i could do was hold her back with my forearm agaisnt her while clinging onto the phone and trying to catch myself. She was never this abusive but after that day i swore to myself to never speak to her again and be a much better person than she ever. Her history of cheating spands 20years but it was only two years ago that it finally caved in on herself and my dad requested a divorce. We sold the house and we all went our separate ways