#Automated nonsensical phone tree

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simple acorn
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Your results may vary but I've been in repeated stitches over this -
Write a script for a phone tree. Give 5-8 options with each prompt. You can never reach a human representative. Make it nonsensical.
Respond to every prompt with your action between 2 asterisks. e.g
*Press 3*

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opal sage
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... OMG.

So I tested this prompt, asking:

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The explanation ended thusly, and I liked it so I continued so:

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