wait
#cloud rap type of beat lol
past kernel
The biggest things that stood out to me were, the main 'melody'/sample kind of wanders in and out of key in a real distracting way, imo. Not sure if that's just how the sample is or if you did that purposefully, but it pulled my ear in a negative way.
My second critique would be the drums. Very basic trap pattern. I'd take a listen to some beats you love and really study the drums there, what makes them bounce? What is creating the pocket?
Lastly, and least important at this point, is the mix. Nothing really sounds cohesive to my ears. Everything sounds like individual sounds placed together, rather than a structured, intentional unit. This will come with time as your mixing improves and your sound selection improves.
That said, I like the idea here and the only thing holding you back from executing it is experience.
Just went back and listened again, found another minor critique
When the drums drop out and the vocal samples comes in, there's NOTHING in the main sample/'melody' holding any sort of rhythm, it just kind of drones on and you lose ALL sense of rhythm once those drums drop out. That's a very bad thing in hip hop, a music that is entirely rhythm. I want to be able to nod my head even if those drums drop out, and while I can kind of do it, it's not natural and I have to really think hard about keeping the tempo. This should be much easier.
left garden
thanks alot for your feedback im a bit of a beginner ill take everything you said into consideration for the next time