frozen light
The spare key of my childhood home laid under the black doormat in front of the red door.
My sister picked out the doormat, I picked out the paint for the door.
I knew where to find it whenever I forgot my own key.
But everyone that came over always used the spare key,
all my friends, and our family
when we were little we nicknamed the key ‘the key to happiness’
because my home was happy,
As soon as you opened the door a wave of warmth and happiness hit your face
It was always like that.
My mom was the best host ever,
My dad the funniest dad on the block
Everyone loved staying at our house
Because it was filled with laughter and light and life
There were weeks my house was constantly filled with friends staying over
But then I started sneaking out
Using the key under the mat more and more often.
I started partying and going out,
Making new friend left and right.
Further and further away from home,
I still knew that whenever I came home
The key to happiness would be waiting under the mat
I met new people and tried new thing
Lived different places far away
I was running
Running from home
From the house that I used to love
Searching for happiness somewhere else
I shut out my family convinced I could find better
Find something worth leaving home for
I got riches and gold and designer stuff I never touch
I was convinced that was happiness
I made fake friends and spoke words I don’t stand by
I was being used and I knew it but I didn’t care
Until one day my castle came crashing down on me
My friends fled because it got hard
And the only thing remaining was the shabby cottage that used to be home
I banged on the shutters and begged to the door to let me in
Please my family, my blood, let me back in.
I looked under the mat but the key was gone
The key to happiness
Wasn’t under my doormat after all
So I laid down on the porch and cried, and cried and died
fading mica
rancid yacht