#Welcome To The Show

1 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

hearty dock
#

Welcome to the show
Dear Reader,
Watch as I
Perform my greatest act

Self destruction

Watch as I sit up on this stage you hold
Watch as my words swirl around the page
Never land right

Enjoy the show
Don’t forget to grab your stale popcorn
It’s right on the corner
Between my anxiety and crippling fears

Dear reader,
Make sure you talk to everyone you meet

The man in the yellow robes,
Who tells me not to write
He likes to jeer the artists

He compares them against others

But he is Human
As we all

Welcome to the show
As you leave,
Please leave a review

Post it on Yelp!

He worries
That throughout everything he is
His livelyhood carries no substance

That he is a shell
That holds empty words

maiden bolt
#

I like it a lot. Fairly interesting and it's got a good rhythm. My only critique would be that the Yelp line is a bit... weird? Out-of-place? It doesn't seem to fit to me.

obtuse forge
#

It's really really good, and paced nicely. The Yelp insert was... a bit odd

hearty dock
#

Not to sure on the line as well