This is my first ever poem and I want your opinion

[polar pendant]

AFFECTION
Love is splendid, a beautiful art, yet
It can tear a tender heart. It fills the
Soul with joy so bright, yet sometimes
Brings a lonely night.

Love brings joy and laughter, a delightful
Surprise, weaving through dreams that
Reach for the skies. Indeed, love’s a wonder
That enriches our days. A magical force in
So many ways.

Love can lead to hurt and pain leaving
You feeling lost again. Unwanted, you
May start to see, neglect yourself,
Emotionally.

Our profound love, a blessing from above,
Is a gift from god, like a hand in a glove

[quiet compass]

Structurally, the first three verses are lovely! Very nice rhyme and rhythm, it feels flowy. really nice and easy to read. The last verse loses that rhythm, just cos the lines are much faster. Is that on purpose?

Thematically, I find it a bit strange that the mood jumps between the second and third verse - from “joy and laughter” to “hurt and pain”. I think another line at the start of the last verse could help transition from “hurt and pain” back into the more positive mood “blessing from above”. And then, the third verse will feel like a climax, and those last two lines will feel like a resolution to the third verse. That could be interesting to experiment with

Hope that helps! For a first poem it’s so lovely honestly!

[polar pendant]

I understand