short poem

[buoyant otter]

heart is heavy
wandering in this cloudy city
tearful eyes as it gets windy
shivering, and mourning
the hollow girl who i be

[copper sequoia]

I like the direction of this poem. but it needs explaintion and the imagery needs to be precise and not vague.

in short poems every word matters

tearful eyes as it gets windy

is a clear imagery but it doesnt really give any insight to the world around or the feeling needed to be relefected in the poem

also hollow girl is a bit vauge. imagery should be precise in a way that it feels complete. hollow girl doesnt meet that beecause its vauge. you need to express it better