I never wanted to lose you,
yet every silence felt like goodbye.
I carried love too heavy for my chest,
while you carried anger too heavy for your lips.
I spoke, I reached, I begged,
but your replies were walls—
“okay,” “bye,” “your choice”—
and I learned how loneliness sounds.
I tested you with names,
with words meant to sting,
not because I wanted to hurt you,
but because I wanted to see if you cared.
I wanted proof that I mattered.
You never came running,
not once, not even when I broke.
And so I wondered—
was I ever needed,
or only tolerated when time allowed?
I gave you my stories,
the small details of my days,
so you would never feel alone,
so you would know I trusted you.
But when my own heart was heavy,
you never asked,
and I swallowed my pain whole.
I thought love meant effort,
but maybe for you it meant silence.
I thought love meant holding on,
but maybe for you it meant letting go.
Still, I loved you.
Through every unanswered snap,
through every trip you never told me about,
through every night I waited for your presence
and found only absence.
Maybe this is karma,
maybe I deserve the ache,
but even in punishment,
my heart chooses you.
I am over‑attached,
I am weak,
I am the one who breaks first,
but I am also the one
who loves without measure.
And if tomorrow comes,
I will love you more than today.
If the world ends,
I will still whisper your name.
Because even in ruin,
even in silence,
even in the cruelty of distance—
you are the only one
I ever called home.
#"I Still loved you"
split shore
split shore
@marsh kayak