My Inner-self | The Art of Poetry | Page 1

spiral talon Nov 23, 2025, 11:05 PM

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Emotionless pit, thoughts feel metal
Colorless Light, where is my petal
Rooted in Sand, only a seed
Growth so slow, Impatience feeds
Ridicule thy Art, Sanctify Thy Heart
Give me peace, rest at best
Transforming filth into Bloom
Breaking out from impending doom

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I'm getting into poetry on my own, just needed a place to share it. Thanks

glossy niche Nov 23, 2025, 11:08 PM

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This is good, I feel like the rhyming aids the flow of the poem, not hinders it, which is a good thing.

spiral talon Nov 23, 2025, 11:09 PM

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Thank you, I've been writing a lot lately

glossy niche Nov 23, 2025, 11:14 PM

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The only part that could be improved - is where you've said "Thoughts fee. metal" - I can see in the next line you've used the word "petal" so I assume you were rhyming. Me personally, I cant really emotively connect to this simile. Perhaps say something like "Thoughts feel ... - Perhaps harsh or sharp? Not sure if those are good words, just remember, in poetry, its less about rhyming and more about ensuring the flow of your poem is strong. 🙂

spiral talon Nov 23, 2025, 11:15 PM

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I meant it as like cold, and petal for my growth like a flower.

#My Inner-self