onyx summit
The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do was say goodbye
Knowing the place where you would be going
Would be more dangerous than anything you’ve ever faced
Knowing that my world had changed and even though you had said
You would see me soon I would probably never see you again
That I’d go from 9 to 10 in one Summer and for the first time in 8 years
You wouldn't be there
I think of it like a wife who allowed her love to go into battle
Dry, oil-laden land and tat-tat-tats
Ripping through your brothers
Just like Cancer did to you
And even if it was just a show
A harmless animation it would still hit with force
I guess I’m not sure what to really say
Do I say why, why, why would you choose to leave
You gave up, you gave up on me
Or do I say goodbye I wish you well
I watch your face just hoping for a flicker
All I see is concern
Embroidered in firm features
You don't say a word, you don't say goodbye
You leave that to your children who sit with me and rushingly cry
And my last images of the lady who raised me
Are a purple crop top and broken bloodshot eyes
Both of which are not you
They are the someone else that has taken over
They gave up
After you fought so hard to make things work
Through a cultural practice
That got you locked in a room
Without food, without water
Phone stolen
Us worrying, unsure where you have been for the last week
Now years later, a week feels like nothing
A year a small blotch
In a puddled red sea that’s killing me
vast umbra