Hey, this felt like a breath held between heartbreak and healing, your imagery is so soft, i feel like it wraps around you like wind in a field, lines like ‘my breath caught by longing’ and ‘moon whispered: rise again’ are the kind that linger forever, i really appreciate this piece, you’ve got a beautiful emotional rhythm, as if dusk were unfolding in real-time. My feedback? maybe explore tension a little deeper. everything flows smoothly (which works), but adding more contrast like sharper emotional turns or broken lines i feel it could make the hopeful parts shine brighter.
but honestly? this was grounding.
quietly powerful
#Light That Gives Hope
storm dirge
frosty elbow
It's like this stage where you thought yo uahve healed, but then the memories come back to bite you again, but nonetheless, you go on, because you have to.
great imagery use! i especially liked the line "tapped the rhythm of dusk"
with this, i advise you to use full verse to the fullest. Line breaks are what make or break free verse imo, dont be afraid to add abrupt pauses and suddent shifts in tone or imagery, especially with the imagery skill you demonstrated here.
Overall great poem! hit close to home
digital kiln