viscid geyser
description = beauty style = beauty draft = looking good so far
#Unequivocally yours/Moonflowers
gaunt pelican
thank you so much!!
buoyant mango
the language flows well. The imagery eludes me a little; are moonflowers being described? and they are symbolic for some form of desire. There's a reference to Achilles, are these the finger and thumb pulling back the arrow that would kill him? I like "antediluvian" and "primordial". I also like "ostensibly unknown becomes forsaken".
I notice the second stanza rhymes, also apart/heart in the first stanza in the end, but no rhymes before, which stood out to me, not sure what to make of that shift. "thee", since it's archaic can feel a bit like a forced rhyme.