The Eyes

[north vessel]

The trees cast no shadow
No shadows without light
The only shine or ray
Is from its hungry eyes

It stares out from the darkness
Two slits made to consume
The attention of its viewer
To leave for hope no room
Though for just a moment
It stood still that day
I still recall it taking hours
Before I was its prey

For a moment and forever
It stared straight through my head
Past my thoughts and past my fears
At my flesh, blood red

It did not care for my life
The future that I'd want
It only cared for one thing
That I would soon be caught
Beneath its claws so it can eat
Between its jaws for the meat
But even more, yet even more
For the hunt it seemed

There were better choices there
A squirrel, a mole, a hare
But it cared not for easy meals
To bring back to its lair
It wants what it had not
To taste something new
A flavor its tongue has not held
It would have held there soon
Had I not seen the look
And been caught by surprise
I jumped away just in time
Because I saw its eyes.

Just like that hungry beast
Who wants what it had not
Avoid the ones who lust for more
Before you have been caught.

[full wyvern]

The poetry is very good, I love it @north vessel

[north vessel]

Thanks!

[trim oar]

Okay so for starters, I commend you for maintaining a good consistency and rhythm with your lines throughout this

It's harder than it looks

[north vessel]

Thanks, and also lemme move my response to yours to the actual post RQ

[trim oar]

Okay so rereading, this seems like it'd come straight out of a storybook, I like that vibe

I would suggest breaking it up into stanzas, just to make it a bit more digestible

[north vessel]

Yeah I agree! that works. I also notice a lot of my poems end up coming off almost like a doctor suess book in how they read

[trim oar]

I think it does a good job at not lingering too long. Although I'd definitely suggest including a bit more about the narrators own feelings about this gruesomeness