ivory trout
"the joke"
they look at me
then look at you
and laugh
like love is a trick
like i’m the setup
and you’re the punchline
i see it in their eyes
how they squint
trying to solve the equation
of why someone like you
would ever touch someone like me
like i’m a math problem
that doesn’t balance out
they say she’s way out of his league
they say this has to be a dare
they say
she’s probably just bored
and maybe they’re right
maybe you were
maybe i was a game
just something to pass the time
until someone shinier
walked by
i looked in the mirror today
and i saw
every reason why
you could never stay
skin that folds wrong
eyes too tired
a body shaped like a mistake
a voice that never sounds right
no matter how soft i make it
you touched me
like it hurt
you kissed me
like you were apologizing
for ever being there
and still
i held on
i begged the moment not to end
because for a second
i could pretend
i was enough
but i wasn’t
i’m not
i was the quiet thing you hid
the secret you couldn’t say out loud
because love
shouldn’t come
with a laugh track
coarse lantern
violet sandal