#core

5 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

shrewd dome
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shiny skin.
clean, red, polished.
set on the table like it belongs.
no bruises,
no rot.
no warning.

they pick it up,
they bite.
sweetness fails.
tongues recoil.
they spit.
they gag.
they vomit.

inside, black.
soft.
collapsed.
something grew where seeds should’ve been.

they wipe their mouths.
they curse.
they leave.

the apple stays.
doesn’t ask to be cleaned.
doesn’t ask to be held.
it just waits.
shiny.
still.
rotting.


fingerprints on windows no one checks.
something behind the curtains.
footsteps echo, don’t return.
a name said too soft.
walls remember loud silence.

shoes lined up—one pair too small.
applause in an empty room.
a note never passed.
pages torn unread.
sky burned orange.

he hears what I mean.
a voice that holds back a scream.
answers kept like marbles.
gravity pulls harder in some rooms.
time slows when no one looks back.

words spill like juice, sticky and sour.
no one checks the fridge light.
a stare too long turns to a mirror.
chalk dust clings.
the chair by the door stays cold.

smiles break before the eyes.
hands twitch before waving.
paper cuts no one sees.
a clock ticks louder after sunset.

faces blur when they’re too kind.
a drawer never shut.
the bridge waits in memory.
water glows for the wanting.
no splash sounds in daydreams.

the breeze knows.
the sun was too warm.
something cracked unseen.
socks pulled too high, like armor.

his silence feels safer than words.
the test still smells like panic.
a name in every margin.

the apple dulls in dim light.
no one bites again.
dust settles.
no rot left to hide.

sinful notch
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I find this one interesting, you drive a narrative for the apple twice, once with few words. And the second one far more descriptive give a character.

As a concept I love this. I will have to try this as an exercise for writing poems.

The ending is good in mellowing the poem down. Something you can do is adding a variety of punctuation, changing some periods to commas to allow for more flow, or even forgoing punctuation in some cases

river bobcat
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Just ommiting the periods would do this poem well

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Each line connects with the prior and latter, but are seperrated by pauses in reading

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The period sorta ruins the flow in a way