Thou Flew Past Me

[delicate agate]

Thou flew past me,

Making me aware of the natural essence.

The sapphire-colored widespread,

Blend with the glamour of sun's sufficient presence.

The mystical glory it reflects,

Which is enough to contrast him and thee.

Touch of a scarlet shade,

And flush of the amber and topaz, I see.

Vivid and vibrant wings you've got,

Showering the blessings and cherishes on everyone.

If God won't have illustrated you,

I would've never met with such a fate, exquisite one.

[dark granite]

I like this. The big thing I notice is, intentionally or not you've made some alliteration saying "Vivid Fr vibrant wings you've got," and I think your poem would benefit from a revision where more alliteration is included.