#Mainstreet, looking for some critical feedback

2 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

plucky fractal
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Mainstreet isn’t a mudded grove,
The river runs by, straight and square,
Rows of stone, monuments to mankind’s cubic obsession,
Concrete cladding hardens the soil beneath.

I wonder, when they found this place,
What was living here?
Fox dens dug into the dirt; nests nestled among yews?
Chopped, churned, driven out and destroyed.

Who were the first lot through this way?
Who put the cobbles down, lay the foundations?
Who’s idea were the fences? Menacing spikes jutting from the ground.
Which ancient tribe condemned this place?

limber sedge
#

This is an excellent poem. Not to sugar coat, but I find this poem very well done and I like the meaning behind it.

The first stanza gives me imagery of man-made structures. With the phrases and words:
"straight and square"
"Rows of stone"
"cubic obsession"
I especially like the cubic obsession one as it is unique to me and it describes how widely spread mankind puts up their infrastructure, which destroys natural habitats.

The second stanza gives off deep thoughts. Like when you are sitting, staring at your surroundings and thinking about it all. And you are thinking about what was there in the beginning before all of these structures and buildings, what kind of beautiful and open field it used to be, or if it were a lovely forest for all kinds of creatures to live in. But then the end of the stanza gives off a bit of a sad, or irritating realization that those same habits of or innocent animals were destroyed to build all of this here...

The last stanza has the same amount of deep thoughts. Some of it gives off a vengeful tone as the person probably wants to know who was responsible specifically for such cruel destruction of nature.

Well done