#Rewritten
2 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)
Enjoy! 
2 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)
This poem sounds more "rhymey", but some verses are more forced than others. Its a very nice-to-read poem!
I enjoyed many allusions and references brought up in this poem 
Theres very vivid lively imagery that conveys a sense of heartfelt emotions. But, you could challenge yourself with wordplay (again haha)

Enjoy! 