mellow nimbus
@hazy rivet @unkempt arch @sullen hazel
#I can't hate you (Repost)
hazy rivet
1 : I don't like the rhyme anything and everything, I have a suggestion if you want.
2 : the second stanza, I don't get it, please explain.
3 : really like the 3rd stanza, noice work.
4 : in the 4th stanza you used better again like in the third stanza in the same place idk it is irritating my brain. It's not bad but for me it ruins the flow. Maybe use a synonym or maybe just let it be.
5 : liked the 1st 2 lines of the 5th stanza. Idk just hits different. But rhyming again with gain, umm... Idk the flow of the rhythm isn't as smooth here. I mean you're already rhyming ignorant and important they're half rhymes so maybe in place of gain you could use "bear" Or a synonym of either bear or gain.
6 : perfect stanza no criticism.
7 : the first line, maybe you could use a more poetic sentence. I have a suggestion if you want. The last line doesn't suit with this stanza.
8 : perfect stanza loved it.
Overall the poem is great and I really liked it. It's just my opinion. I'm not trying to be harsh, I promise