I wouldn’t have put the spaces after everyline
#Prelude
wide ermine
Cause through the poem your welcoming the reader into ur world
The illusion is broken after the first time and not sustained
wide temple
Agreed, but the poem itself is okay
alpine elk
The metaphors are great, the imagery could use some work, it was pretty straightforward (dunno if that was what you were going for) amazing vocabulary. The poem would be better with like an rhyme scheme.. the 4th line could go like" I haven't even witnessed your enchanting smile"to continue with the previous line. You could also play with the words and change black eyes to black pearls/black diamonds. Makes the imagery more vivid. All in all its a good poem but could be better. - me @pliant plover
alpine elk
I see but you could make it better( but your choice)