#a person

2 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

brazen sand
#

A person a
person which loves me conditionally
a person who stands by my side
whether I am wrong or right
a person who never judges me
that person is you
that person is my father

people usually give a tags
to their father like a superhero
but for me
you are more than that
you are more than just me a hero
you are the hardest working person I have ever known
you are the strongest
whether physically or mentally
I love you papa

solid zealot
#

Beautiful beautiful poem! Truly great! Though, may I suggest one thing. It would have been great to see you explore the “why’s” -why is he more than a hero? Why is he so hardworking? Why is he your person? Show us what he’s done, what he’s said. That would add some depth to the poem and make it less telly - play around with some imagery, personification, metaphors, similes. It’s not about removing what you wrote but rather adding to it. Amazing work well done you’re lucky to have your father and he’s lucky to have you