#The Passenger

5 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

craggy wind
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i really like this! advice on your fourth stanza: it doesn't flow well, there are soo many 'ands' without good puncuation. other than that I love this

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Maybe this...
"
Morning mist overcomes me, I can no longer see the road ahead and we've been on the road for hundres of miles, I can't find your face in the distance-and I'm searching for it, god, how I am searching for it-I am sitting in the passenger seat-it's all I can do
"

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I still feel the rapid pace exists within this edit

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Yes of course, I'm glad! Overall, this is a really good poem

unborn ember
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… wow. The power of this strikes deep. I’m not even sure I understand it.

Very nice voice person!! Very nice 😊