- When day turns into night

[leaden flicker]

As the sun disappears from the horizon,
Darkness looms ahead in front of thy eyes,
As the sky sparkles with light in the night,
Even the heavens change their mood from time to time.

The sun says its day to day byes,
As the stars and the moon emit light,
The stars rearrange in a certain pattern,
Making for a wonderful attraction.

When time passes by as the day turns into night,
The show shown by the heavens throughout time,
Is the stars, the moon and the sun changing with time,
As the darkness descends with little light in our sight.

[void citrus]

I like how you took something so mundane, and maybe something not a lot of people think about, into somethings that's beautiful I really like this, I would change line five though to "The sun say's it's daily goodbye" or something along those lines.

[leaden flicker]

so what needs to be changed and is my second and third stanza meaning kind of similar ?

[void citrus]

A little but it's up to you to make that call

[leaden flicker]

ahh i wont change it too much work

[void citrus]

I love it anyway

[leaden flicker]

does ' the sun says its day to day byes ' fit in ?

[void citrus]

I think so

[leaden flicker]

ok i will edit this one verse then