What am I? comments are wanted and needed pls read🙏 | The Art of Poetry | Page 1

coarse trail Dec 31, 2023, 2:10 AM

#

a caring person trying to find themselves,with lack of motivation who needs to find their voice

twilit wave Dec 31, 2023, 2:11 AM

#

Me

coarse trail Dec 31, 2023, 2:12 AM

#

i feel that bro stay 💪 and stay blessed 😇

round locust Dec 31, 2023, 5:23 AM

#

What am I? comments are wanted and needed pls read🙏

ashen portal Dec 31, 2023, 6:31 AM

#

The poem's alr but I feel like the excessive riddle-themed anaphora kinda reduced the impact of the words
cuz it's not that short of a poem
I suggest u break this into stanzas and at the end of each stanza add a non-conforming line
example:

...I have an empty stomach with no hunger
At least these clothes fit my hanger

I have something to say...

winter tundra Dec 31, 2023, 7:07 AM

#

Good base!! This can go a lot of different ways.

I second the idea that Jane gave above and quite like the non-conforming line they gave as an example. That said, I believe the riddle aspect could work if you truly wanted to stick with it, and it could even add to the poem’s overall meaning. It would just depend on how much you want it to be part of the poem.

Another suggestion would be to, if you’re willing and stick with the riddle, give the answer to the riddle (or an extra hint) in the title of the piece. Titles are often overlooked but can do quite a bit of work.

#What am I? comments are wanted and needed pls read🙏