Orb of the sky | The Art of Poetry | Page 1

jaunty fjord Aug 18, 2023, 7:41 AM

#

The orb of the sky will not cease to shine,
Forever summer, a wonderful sign.
Grow it did, flashed the most beautiful smile,
Suddenly, it turned a cynical lie.

They deemed me author of this gruesome tale,
Told me to give them life, for they were frail.
Locked me in a place where it never shone,
It was witchcraft, for it wasn't their own.

I dipped my feet into the ebbing
tides,
'Twas dark, all around, as it was inside.
At the stake, I'll rise with flames, tomorrow.
As you wish, it's the season of sorrow.

umbral arch Aug 18, 2023, 9:26 AM

#

I like it; the 1st part's flow is a little odd, but the 2nd and 3rd are really nice! I'm going to guess that this is talking about a person's experience (maybe you) of creating something beautiful and positive, only for it to be shaped into something evil by others.

jaunty fjord Aug 18, 2023, 10:04 AM

#

Thank you! Yes that's what I meant, except the creator also had malice intentions as they wanted to create a "forever summer" and a "season of sorrow"

jaunty fjord Aug 18, 2023, 2:40 PM

#

It's nice

torpid tusk Aug 18, 2023, 2:42 PM

#

I really love the rhymes

#

Very good

#

me like

jaunty fjord Aug 18, 2023, 2:42 PM

#

thank you!

torpid tusk Aug 18, 2023, 2:43 PM

#

jaunty fjord thank you!

would you feedback mine?

jaunty fjord Aug 18, 2023, 2:44 PM

#

sure!

torpid tusk Aug 18, 2023, 2:45 PM

#

jaunty fjord sure!

#1141385257870958674

cobalt gale Aug 19, 2023, 4:45 PM

#

It's wonderful how you referred to the sun as an 'orb'. The flow of the poem is so beautiful!

#

I love how you experimented with the change in climate here.

#Orb of the sky