wet slate
Stanza No.1 (This already made me emotional)
This was beautifully written. It was written straight on one topic, there were no blunders, no mistakes, and no incorrect metaphors.
The amount of pain that you would go through just to have the other person love you back isn’t something that nobody can achieve. It’s just so special, and heartwarming… or heartbreaking?
I think that since every metaphor is spot on, we can move on to stanza No.2.
Stanza No.2
This stanza perfectly portrays the sheer loneliness and darkness of time. The thoughts that you can get from this experience is just so sickening to me…
But then there’s the rain that showers it all away, telling you to be happy, whilst also leaving remnants of the sadness you once dealt with.
Especially, those memories were with the person you cared for most. The person you would go through hellfire for.
Stanza No.3
Subconsciously hearing that one person is something that shows the reader how much you cared for the other person from a different sense. It then revolves back to the memories.
The garden of flowers withering and dying just hit me. Hard. There’s so much meaning to that simple phrase. After accompanying it with a relation to yourself, I literally shed a tear.
Stanza No.4
This is the perfect way to wrap up a poem. A series of descriptions to a relating sentence to the love…
That will never grow.
Bravo.
Syllable Constructing: 8/10
Message: 100000/10
Overall: 100000000/10
Stellar work. I’m expecting a lot more from you!
hazy delta