#Feedback/Advice wanted

5 messages · Page 1 of 1 (latest)

cedar remnant
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I'm not sure if this counts as poetry or prose.

Im not sure what else to do with it besides share it with people?

I kind of want to go further with it but I don't have a strong grasp on the concepts I want to tackle yet.

"Gravity.

What would we do without gravity?

Without gravity. Faith can't be found.
With zero faith, credit goes down.
No credit means no consent.
If you lack consent, no justice is lent.

Losing justice builds alot of stress.
Stress builds strength. Progress.
With strength, resonance is made.
Desire is yielded in a cascade.

From here, purpose reveals its focus and face.
The fog is cleared. Gravity is restored to its rightful place.

It never bends. Yet we do.
It never ends. Yet we grew.
Just so we can go on living.
Just so that we can keep on giving.

Collectively combining creating a cycle.
Arrestingly paralyzing. Spins a spiral.
A hypnotic frequency of haves and have nots.
Spawning a library of data and rot.

Always striving. Constantly conspiring.

To check out costs energy.
To check in is to lose synergy.

It matters not how you lend.
As long as you gather fast.
Like the wind.

Blinded by these fines.
You are placed in the bind of time.

Scrambling for answers.
A signal.
A sign.

Please forgive me.
But I lack the faith.
I don't mean to whine.
I dont want to wait.

Credit is vain.
Edit my value?
I'd rather obstain.

There's too much at stake to live less.
Sooner or later, I'll be just like the rest.

One day I'll be free;
To endure the pain of being vain.
To have the courage to be lame.

No more fears of being shallow.
No more tears at seeing my shadow.

Only my fire.
I'm so tired of being called a liar.

My Mind is restless. Soul is bewildered. Heart is arrested. Dreams are re-filtered.
Release is denied: there is no rest then.

Always stressed, always scorn.
Always dark. always worn.

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There is no light where the struggle lies.
For if there were an end in sight, I would have never cast shadow on this night.

I'd have never passed these graspless lies.
I'd be glad to let the struggle lie.
I'd be glad to let the struggle die.
Guilt aside.
I wouldn't mind an anchor to brave the tide of time.

I lack an anchor to aid my stay.
No up.
No down.
I have lost my way.

I owe you nothing, yet I feel more.
Everything I do feels like a chore.

I know it's not real.
I know it's not there.
It's all in our heads. Still. Everywhere.

In our minds, in our houses, in our cars, in our streets.
No escape from this crime of belief.

Shame preying on the weak.

Every second of every hour of every date. Debt in. Debt out. Transaction rebate.

To not partake is to be free.
But liberty always wroughts a fee.

It will cost your days.
It will rot your stay.
I wish there was another way.

But not today.

This time it'll be different.
Please forgive me if it isn't.

Please forgive me if its all the same.
Please forgive me. if it's all the shame.

With dreams I'll get to live again.

Because then I'll have gravity to bind me with sin.

No more struggle in my eyes.
No more trouble in my lies.

Only the guilt of the black tide.
Eroding emotions that can't hide.

Eventually everything passes.

Except for the shadow looming over my heart.
I don't know when, or why. Or where or how it starts.

If I could void my way, it would miss.
if I could fathom the abyss.
I'd grasp less.

I could pass.

Even forgive it.

I could even jest with the sickest.
I could even rest with the wicked.

But could it be lived with?

Even if.

I'd sell my soul to find it.

Who I am is undefined and,
Being someone else is an act of compliance.

And defiance. Depends who you ask.
They'll tell you to be gentle and tense all in the same mask.

The strife in life will thrive in spite
Of the vice that is being nice.

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I wonder how to be bold yet shy at the same time?
I ponder how can I be too much, yet not enough in the same chime.

Maybe one day I'll understand.
Maybe some way, I'll know the dance.

Of such a fickle process.
To trust whatever the next line says.

Maybe then I'll accept the cost.
Maybe then I'll detect what was lost.

The day will come around to when I find new health.
Because I will have finally found myself."

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@glacial tundra

cedar remnant
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@blissful junco