More poetry help!!!

[raw turret]

Hello <@&968253730841567284> !!! I request help and criticism upon this new poetry I made about this cute guy I saw!!! (Yes I'm gay for him)

It's pretty cute the way you sleep,
Your eyes closed and mouth shut.
There is no snoring, only breathing
And I love how I can mess your hair.

But I do have temperance, of course,
I try to urge my primal instinct from
Devouring me, as I now just watch
You from the next sofa, waiting.

You woke up, and you greet me
With a warm hug, or at least, that's
What I wished really happened to
Me, but you just passed by me.

I'm a little sad about it, but I hold no
Grudges towards it, so I guess I'm
Happy about you existing and laughing
With me; I'll snatch today and love you.

[sweet lantern]

That's a cute poem! The way you describe him is lovely, even though there's some frustration of not moving further than this sort of friendzone. The first stanza feels like a dreamy day of yours, describing simple, yet wonderful things that make you happy. 2nd one is a come back to reality. And that's pretty much how 3rd and last stanzas go actually! This creates a kind of loop in which you are trapped, not in a bad way tho. Did you work on rhyming ? Maybe it could make the comfy image you have of him a little more flowing. Sometimes your lines are stopped at some odd places x) I mean, for example at the last stanza, the first line ends with "no" and continues in the 2nd line till the middle of it. Apart from that I hope it helped and things are moving slowly but surely to a path where happiness lays 💙