Lostalgia

[heady hemlock]

Your poem beautifully expresses the anguish of loss, the longing for the past, the sense of being lost and unsure of the future. Broken mirrors, shattered glass, and memories stuck in an oyster all evoke brokenness and longing. The poem gains depth from the use of opposing emotions, such as sweetness turning sour and the soothing smell of smoke.

Do you remember? and "What is my future? Where is my past?," for example, are repeated questions that imply a need for clarification. The overall theme of uncertainty and the passage of time is furthered by the use of time as a motif, with clocks ticking forward and memories obscured by fog.

Your poem's language and imagery are moving and poignant, perfectly capturing the nuanced feelings of loss and longing. But it's crucial to keep in mind that there is a chance for recovery and finding purpose in the here and now.

may i give a suggestion

well 3 things

Consider rephrasing the opening lines to create a stronger impact. For example, instead of "I would say that I'm shattered," you could try "Shattered, my heart, my body, my soul in pieces," to create a more direct and immediate tone.

Consider using more vivid and sensory language to evoke emotions. For example, instead of "clocks moving forward in my flashback," you could try "time's relentless march, dragging me forward," to create a stronger visual and emotional impact.

Experiment with different metaphors and similes to convey your emotions. For example, instead of "like a candle blown out," you could try "like a flame extinguished by a gust of wind," or "like a star that lost its shine," to add freshness and depth to your imagery.

ohh

i see

how about

you could change "clocks moving forward in my flashback" to "clocks racing ahead in my mind's eye" or "future clocks ticking in my flashback," to better convey the idea that your flashbacks are of the future rather than the past.

sorry if im like taking your poem into my words