does this make sense? | The Art of Poetry | Page 1

stiff quest Apr 4, 2023, 12:21 AM

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i’m new to writing poems or writing in general, and i would love some advice/ criticism on this! ( anything to change? add? feel free to comment )
i feel like this doesn’t really make sense and the flow doesn’t really go well

stiff quest Apr 4, 2023, 4:54 AM

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austere plover Apr 4, 2023, 8:39 AM

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First of all, amazing work
Secondly, I don't really find anything amiss here, I get what you are trying to make the reader feel here and I felt the excitement and panic.
So its great according to me, well done 👏👏👏

#does this make sense?