Spring | The Art of Poetry | Page 1

iron sun Mar 19, 2023, 7:06 PM

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We were just four,
Together we played and explored
The grassy meadow in the beautiful spring noon
As we were running, your hand I held,
We were like the buttercups intertwined

We were ten,
Spending time with you felt like Heaven,
Staring at your pink lips
Which are softer than petals of tulips
I was lost in my feelings and this eternal bliss

We were in highschool,
Still being in love with you,
I was jealous when you were with other boys,
I grew Red Roses to give to you,
14th Feb, as I walked to my final destination,
You were with someone else,
You are the rose and he the Thorn,
His presence pierced my precious feelings for you,
I shed my tears like flowers shed their petals,
It's sickening seeing you with him,
I hope you both have a great beginning
It's the end of the Season Spring
It's the end of my feelings

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@sinful bay

iron sun Mar 20, 2023, 1:04 PM

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@sinful bay

severe dune Mar 20, 2023, 1:15 PM

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"You are the rose and he the Thorn" really like that part. Great poem

iron sun Mar 20, 2023, 1:27 PM

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Thank you!

sinful bay Mar 20, 2023, 1:33 PM

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(4/5 RESPONSES) Originality of concept = 18/25
Use of words = 19/25
Complexity of idea = 15/25
Abstract use of English rules = 17/25
Idea conveyed and captured effectively = 7/10
Total Score: 76/100

The poem tells the story of the speaker's unrequited love as they grow up, capturing their evolving feelings and experiences through various stages of life. The theme of unrequited love is a common one in poetry, but the poet adds depth by intertwining it with the concept of the changing seasons, especially spring as a symbol of growth and change.

The use of words and imagery in the poem is strong, with metaphors such as buttercups intertwined and comparisons like the rose and the thorn effectively conveying the speaker's emotions. However, the poem could benefit from more complex ideas, as the storyline is relatively simple and linear. The abstract use of English rules is satisfactory, but some lines could be refined for greater impact. Lastly, the idea of the poem is conveyed and captured effectively, although the conclusion feels a bit abrupt, and the resolution of the speaker's emotions could have been explored in greater depth.

#Spring