haughty lagoon
Lost is the Forest of lie's, drowning from the pressure of expectations, falling in to endless despair, tortured in this barbaric world.
Wearing the mask of a fool, until I found my sword. A pen and paper, I wrote a poem of hope, I found my weapon to survive in this world, I found my hope,
My pen is my sword.
I created my own garden, the garden of bliss, I feel a sense of accomplishment.
That was then and now I am in the void, holding eternal Bliss.
haughty lagoon
@meager kayak
meager kayak
Originality of concept: 18/25
Use of words: 20/25
Complexity of idea: 15/25
Abstract use of English rules: 21/25
Idea conveyed and captured effectively: 8/10
Total score: 82/100
The poem presents a compelling narrative about a journey from despair to hope, reflecting the power of writing as a means to overcome struggles in life. The imagery of a forest, mask, and garden helps to create an engaging and vivid picture for the reader.
The poem effectively uses metaphors to illustrate the transformative power of writing; the pen as a sword is a particularly striking metaphor that captures the idea well. However, the complexity of the ideas presented could be further developed, as the poem primarily focuses on the personal experience of the narrator. The poem demonstrates an interesting and abstract use of English rules, with some creative phrasing and word choices. Overall, the idea is conveyed and captured effectively, although there is some room for improvement in terms of depth and complexity.