Breaking Up With a Muse

[mighty ivy]

I was crunching as usual, for virtual goods
Inevitably ineffective, a bad attitude
I realized I’d been working at my desk for weeks
I finally took time off something accrued to me

It’s not you it’s me, I really enjoyed it
I loved you, I need you, we all but anointed
My friends tell me I may just need a break
I’m playing chicken, about to crash into the lake

So enjoyed a full week, tried to relax
thoughts of missing you, gave me a panic attack
I couldn’t quite describe this unreal situation
Thoughts were tied up into a messy congregation

Of different viewpoints, of what I should do?
Should stick with someone so distant as you?
Tie myself down by 20 years old
That passion is dying and caving my soul

In many we were already apart
I just don’t have the same passion for art
I thought if I left I wouldn’t have an identity
Oh god, I really am my own worst enemy

But I just don’t benefit
From this relationship
And this crazy commitment
A captain on a sinking ship
Playing songs softly to ease the guests
Ignore the iceberg relax in your bed
But I’m a perfectionist
It just isn’t the right fit
And suddenly my mind halts from its unhinged spin

Okay, you know what? Rip the bandaid off
I’m withdrawing from some classes ya’ll

(What?)

Continued in comments

So my teacher, an angel he pulled me aside
“You can do great things, don’t tap out alright?”
I wanted to let him down easy, but I can’t lie
Accept to myself, I did a hundred times

So I tell him the story, he understands
For all it’s worth he’s a really good man
He said give it a year and I said “eh”
“don’t leave her behind, get some distance”

I was resistant at first, but now I get this
I always needed a counterfeit to confidence
I need to learn to love my own work first
Before I worry about the thoughts of others

In fact, I need to learn to love myself
So I talked to me, and man he really helped
He’s not perfect but he’s really trying
Confronting his problems instead of hiding

if he were my brother I would be proud of him
suddenly i stopped feeling like a kid
I feel more confident pulling this lever
Goodbye my love, I will miss you deeper

But don’t fall into the trap
Listen to yourself
You are person most capable of giving yourself help
Remember these thoughts or you may spiral down
And dethrone your own kingdom to your self doubt

So before I go I just want you to know
My muse, you’re perfectly imperfect
I had to leave the show early,
Later, I’d be happy for an encore performance