Stay with me

[civic prairie]

Stay with me

Please stay with me, and please don't go away,
I'll be with you forever, and I'll find a way.
You can't see me in your world, sadly
But our love is real, even if we're in different realities.

You're my happiness, my hope, my love
And you're my sunshine that shines above,
You light up the world day by day
Even though we were far, far away.

Your beaming eyes shine brightly
And your silky hair is dazzling,
You're the only one that I adore;
How much can I express your beauty more?

I look you up at daze
To see your pretty face,
I love everything about you
And I hope you love me too

So please don't leave me all alone
Or else I'll be gone and cold
And give me your warmth, your beauty
And your gentle hugs and comforts to me.

[ruby forum]

Wonderful poem! You conveyed delicate emotions so precisely! Keep writing!

Critic: You should add exclamation mark in 'Please stay with me,'. The 2nd stanza's first two lines really flow well.

Also, if you are writing lyrical poems, you should keep in mind the syllable count are balanced. For example, if the first line has 7 syllables, the next line should have 7 or 6 or 5 syllables. (It should not exceed 7 syllable. It's okay if it's 1 more syllable, but you've to make it sound better.)

That's all I had to say.
@civic prairie